[Garfie]

Originally Posted by Beso

Well can you please tell me what word to use for people who identify as the Q in LGBTQ so I can use that instead.

I’m not playing your game.

[Beso]

Originally Posted by Garfie

I’m not playing your game.

Then a man of my age will never learn I'm afraid.

[GoldHeart]

Originally Posted by Garfie

I’m not playing your game.

I think it gets a little baity on here in general tbh ,and there's even a thread accusing Khaled of being
" homophobic" for no reason. So stuff like that doesn't help.

Ali herself kept saying " Queer" , she even referred to Nathan as that ... despite the fact he doesn't want a label. I got the impression " Queer" is now used as an umbrella term for not being totally straight/ hetro. But yeah there will be some who don't like that word , however it is part of the letter in LGBTQ , so not sure how those people feel about it being a part of the letter group.

I think sometimes people are just confused and to what they can say ,it isn't always coming from a malicious place. But I will say ... sometimes people lash out as a tot for tat ,and as Martha would say ' it's giving playgroup ' .

[BBXX]

Originally Posted by GoldHeart

I think it gets a little baity on here in general tbh ,and there's even a thread accusing Khaled of being
" homophobic" for no reason. So stuff like that doesn't help.

Ali herself kept saying " Queer" , she even referred to Nathan as that ... despite the fact he doesn't want a label. I got the impression " Queer" is now used as an umbrella term for not being totally straight/ hetro. But yeah there will be some who don't like that word , however it is part of the letter in LGBTQ , so not sure how those people feel about it being a part of the letter group.

I think sometimes people are just confused and to what they can say ,it isn't always coming from a malicious place. But I will say ... sometimes people lash out as a tot for tat ,and as Martha would say ' it's giving playgroup ' .

I just want to point out once again it's not the usage of the word, it's the context it's within.

Another example from the same user, aside from the two I have mentioned, is in the 'Soap Star arrested for having sex with underage boys' thread where he says "TV gays are a different breed". If the news article was 'Soap Star arrested for having sex with underage girls' and I said "TV straights are a different breed" it would be extremely inappropriate not to mention weird.

Another example was where he suggested Ali might fancy Khaled because "go gay, you gotta stay" like sexuality was a choice, despite the fact Ali calls herself a Lesbian.

Another example is him saying he'd rather die in war than be "bummed in jail"

Another example is saying "They like a bit of rape in these gays bars" like rape doesn't happen anywhere else.

Mentioning sexuality where it's not warranted is a tactic (yes I know I sound like Ali) that people use to draw negative attention to a particular group without actually saying anything negative.

I am sure I could go on with more examples but I won't. The attempt at looking innocent despite a back catalogue of questionable content is disingenuous to say the least. I was trying to be polite but sometimes a spade is just that.

[Garfie]

Originally Posted by GoldHeart

I think it gets a little baity on here in general tbh ,and there's even a thread accusing Khaled of being
" homophobic" for no reason. So stuff like that doesn't help.

Ali herself kept saying " Queer" , she even referred to Nathan as that ... despite the fact he doesn't want a label. I got the impression " Queer" is now used as an umbrella term for not being totally straight/ hetro. But yeah there will be some who don't like that word , however it is part of the letter in LGBTQ , so not sure how those people feel about it being a part of the letter group.

I think sometimes people are just confused and to what they can say ,it isn't always coming from a malicious place. But I will say ... sometimes people lash out as a tot for tat ,and as Martha would say ' it's giving playgroup ' .

Hey, I appreciate your response as I have a lot of respect for you, and this thread was truly something else in a number of interactions. I can understand that sometimes in a heated debate, people can express themselves badly or in the wrong way, and I accept that.

However, sometimes people get personal and unpleasant just for the sake of it or potentially due to some underlying beliefs. Some of the posts on this thread were not sudden and heated outbursts or the result of confusions, but much more carefully considered to achieve a certain impact and to make people feel a particular way. I’ve seen this too often- in fact, my job requires training in understanding and recognising it - and I believe I recognise it for what it is. On this occasion, I can’t be swayed from that.

I understand the terminology and the acceptable use of it, so the problem wasn’t the use of the word ‘queer’ or me having any dislike of it, but of how it was being used in a taunting and deliberate way to send a certain message. When the thin line of homophobia or any other prejudice is being skated on, I can’t stand by and watch that happen, yet say nothing about it. When people continue to do it, when someone else has clearly explained the implications and effects, they are doing so by choice, and proving it is intentional.

[GoldHeart]

Originally Posted by Garfie

Hey, I appreciate your response as I have a lot of respect for you, and this thread was truly something else in a number of interactions. I can understand that sometimes in a heated debate, people can express themselves badly or in the wrong way, and I accept that.

However, sometimes people get personal and unpleasant just for the sake of it or potentially due to some underlying beliefs. Some of the posts on this thread were not sudden and heated outbursts or the result of confusions, but much more carefully considered to achieve a certain impact and to make people feel a particular way. I’ve seen this too often- in fact, my job requires training in understanding and recognising it - and I believe I recognise it for what it is. On this occasion, I can’t be swayed from that.

I understand the terminology and the acceptable use of it, so the problem wasn’t the use of the word ‘queer’ or me having any dislike of it, but of how it was being used in a taunting and deliberate way to send a certain message. When the thin line of homophobia or any other prejudice is being skated on, I can’t stand by and watch that happen, yet say nothing about it. When people continue to do it, when someone else has clearly explained the implications and effects, they are doing so by choice, and proving it is intentional.

I completely understand you , but there's alot of double standards . I've seen comments mocking Khaled & Segun's sexuality....as if somehow they're both secretly in the closet or something, those same people then hit the roof when Ali's sexuality is being mocked & disrespected. I wish there was consistency.

I've seen it from all sides on here. I wish people would stop the sniping and getting personal .

[BBXX]

Originally Posted by GoldHeart

I completely understand you , but there's alot of double standards . I've seen comments mocking Khaled & Segun's sexuality....as if somehow they're both secretly in the closet or something, those same people then hit the roof when Ali's sexuality is being mocked & disrespected. I wish there was consistency.

I've seen it from all sides on here. I wish people would stop the sniping and getting personal .

I have seen that too and spoken out - literally in the last 24 hours I told a user we shouldn't invalidate Khaled's sexuality. Others behaviour is somewhat irrelevant though, it just deflects from the topic at hand.

[GoldHeart]

Originally Posted by BBXX

I have seen that too and spoken out - literally in the last 24 hours I told a user we shouldn't invalidate Khaled's sexuality. Others behaviour is somewhat irrelevant though, it just deflects from the topic at hand.

Yeah I've seen that I'm glad you've spoken out. For what it's worth I wasn't aiming it at you.

These topics do deflect big time , can get annoying.

[Garfie]

Originally Posted by GoldHeart

I completely understand you , but there's alot of double standards . I've seen comments mocking Khaled & Segun's sexuality....as if somehow they're both secretly in the closet or something, those same people then hit the roof when Ali's sexuality is being mocked & disrespected. I wish there was consistency.

I've seen it from all sides on here. I wish people would stop the sniping and getting personal .

I completely agree with you regarding this, and I’ve noticed there are even threads with such headings, and all based on no evidence or even any small sign.

The difference in the situation I responded to, though, was that it wasn’t focused purely on housemates, but on mocking LGBTQ+ people in general, and specifically targeted at a LGBTQ+ member of the forum. That’s something completely different and more serious.