[Zizu]

Well it's been emotional , peeps

I've been giving this a ridiculous amount of thought and for my own sanity and mental health I have decided to throw in the towel .

I'm finding it harder and harder to remain positive and happy in the real world (the all important place )

Sadly , my moods and anxieties mirror my experiences in this very forum and of late it's been absolutely horrendous and getting worse by the day

I try and fit in , I really do , but I have far more enemies or detractors than friends in here so it's always going to be a struggle

It's got to the stage where I am hesitant about adding a comment for fear of either being contradicted or even mocked or ridiculed ..


Maybe some of us are simply not cut out for the life of a keyboard warrior - certainly not thin skinned people like myself .

Never say never ... and one day I may decide to brave these choppy waters once again but probably not ... I've taken a few self imposed breaks in the past but my detractors in here unfortunately have good memories and soon start pressing the buttons they know will annoy or upset me

Bye

[Cherie]

Zizu just put the people who wind you up on ignore, unless someone quotes them you wont see their posts

[Beso]

Sometimes it's good to make posts like that, just to get things of your chest.

Do whatever you want. Thanks for the reading material.

[Ithinkiloveyoutoo]

Oh Zizu hush and come watch Big brother with us

[Ithinkiloveyoutoo]

In any case if it truly feels overwhelming for you at the moment, it's ok to take a mental health break but doesn't mean you have to leave

[Vanessa]

You can put people on ignore, that's what I do. You don't have to interact with the people you don't get on with.
It's impossible to get on with everyone anyway.

[Redway]

You have to allow people to give their opinions, just like you give yours, and allow them to disagree with you without calling them obtuse (as you do). I haven’t seen anyone really laying into you this past week. Just disagreeing. I’m sorry you feel this way (I guess) but this isn’t the first time you’ve made a thread like this, and you know you’ll be back. Maybe make whatever breaks you genuinely want to take preempt the inevitable ‘I say I’m going but we all know I’ll be back next week, if not tomorrow’ thread that’s a timeless hallmark of FMs across the fora in-general who have no real intention of going anywhere.

The bottom line is you can’t keep giving opinions without getting any back. That’s not how forums work, and it doesn’t make someone inherently an enemy. Always circling back to that when people don’t find your favourite housemates (or agree either whatever-else you’re getting across) as endearing or (on a more shallow note) sexy as you do is very, very, very frustrating. But if you do take a break (a temporary one, no-less), come back with that in mind and more accountability. That lack of accountability naturally stirs people the wrong way. If you want to irritate people less, start with that, alongside accepting that people have opinions that they have just as much right to express as you. You and I are not two people who see eye-to-eye but I’m not sitting around crying about it. It’s more of an irritation with you than it is something that would actually make me despondent. You really need to grow up and take accountability for yourself. You’re 67, not 17. I think it’s high time you remembered that and started acting your age, instead of using “thin skin” and neurodivergence (and, listen, practically half the world is neurodivergent at this point) as a get-out-of-having-to-tolerate-others’-opinions-while-I-give-provocative-ones-myself-all-the-time card. You need to grow.

[rusticgal]

Your commitment to this forum is inspiring…we all go over the top sometimes but they are your opinions and we love them even if we don’t agree.
But you have to do what’s best for you..but you will be sorely missed Zizu

[Swan]

Zizu, stay, please mate.

[Scarlett.]

I feel this post a lot, a few years back I was in the same place, this forum went from somewhere that was fun to post to just being infected with miserable endless political arguing, honestly stepping back and only posting every now and again was one of the best decisions I made

[Swan]

Originally Posted by Redway

You have to allow people to give their opinions, just like you give yours, and allow them to disagree with you without calling them obtuse (as you do). I haven’t seen anyone really laying into you this past week. Just disagreeing. I’m sorry you feel this way (I guess) but this isn’t the first time you’ve made a thread like this, and you know you’ll be back. Maybe make whatever breaks you genuinely want to take preempt the inevitable ‘I say I’m going but we all know I’ll be back next week, if not tomorrow’ thread that’s a timeless hallmark of FMs across the fora in-general who have no real intention of going anywhere.

The bottom line is you can’t keep giving opinions without getting any back. That’s not how forums work, and it doesn’t make someone inherently an enemy. Always circling back to that when people don’t find your favourite housemates (or agree either whatever-else you’re getting across) is very, very, very frustrating. But if you do take a break (a temporary one, no-less), come back with that in mind and more accountability. That lack of accountability naturally stirs people the wrong way. If you want to irritate people less, start with that, alongside accepting that people have opinions that they have just as much right to express as you.

Interesting read

[Redway]

Originally Posted by Swan

Interesting read

I’m not even trying to hound on him at this point. I just don’t think we’re doing him any favours by encouraging him to say he’s too thin-skinned to accept people (even moderators) having different opinions to him.

On the open forum at-least all I’ve seen this past week is people disagreeing with him and sharing their own opinions about housemates. But the problem with Zizu is he wants to be able to give all manner of opinions (some of them really quite misogynistic and objectifying) without getting any back, otherwise people are being “obtuse” (as he loves to put it) and victimising/bullying him. That’s not on. And I don’t think we should be enabling that lack of two-sided reciprocity and lack of accountability. The way his conditions affect him, like I said elsewhere, is merely a lens, not a shield to duck him out of anyone having a bad word to say about his favourite housemates or his views on women. One of his favourite housemates (Ali from last year) identifies as AuDHD but she still takes accountability for herself, just like most people on that side of the spectrum do. It’s only Zizu who says he has no control over what he posts whatsoever, and that’s a him-problem, not a neurodivergent-problem. Hijacking threads so bad the the OP ducks out with his infatuation with “pretty girls” (Ammi’s thread about Elsa being a decent example) is also a him-problem, whether he genuinely thinks it’s all in good faith and completely oblivious to how inappropriate it is or not. None of this is a one-time rodeo for him. It’s a pattern. And he brings it all on himself so I can have no sympathy for the guy.

If he needs a break, he needs a break, but he makes threads like this all the time and comes back within the hour. But people disagreeing with you (“contradicting you”; I mean, really, Zizu?) shouldn’t be what’s driving you away in any case. His opinions aren’t worth more than anyone-else’s on this forum. He needs to reckon with that and deal with it, instead of thinking he can say and do whatever he likes but duck for cover every time he gets an opinion back. But the reality is he’ll be back and he won’t change or take accountability for anything he says, which is pretty sad for someone in their late 60s. I’m guessing this isn’t the last of such threads from him. He’ll be munching on a ham buttie and saying ‘adios, I’m too thin skinned for the stick I get on here’ and that’ll be that.

[caprimint]

Nooo don't leave

We don't always agree (def did last series with Ali though!) but I always like reading your posts/opinions, hope you'll change your mind and stay!!

[Redway]

Originally Posted by caprimint

Nooo don't leave

We don't always agree (def did last series with Ali though!) but I always like reading your posts/opinions, hope you'll change your mind and stay!!

He’s not going anywhere, let’s be real. This isn’t his first time making this kind of thread. Let’s just call a bluff a bluff. He’s doing it for attention and probably still browsing through. He does this every time someone doesn’t share in his infatuation for certain housemates and feels the weight of natural disagreement hitting him like a ton of bricks. So let’s just skip this stage. It’ll amount to precisely nothing.

I for one wouldn’t miss him if he did go but others, somehow, would and that’s always going to be a pull-back for him, whatever he says at the height of frustration. He has his fans and when all’s said and done he knows that. He knows that very well.

[Ammi]

…Zizu, Zizu, Zizu…I did see your thread yesterday evening but I was very tired so didn’t add anything then….it’s hard to know what to say because if your moods/anxieties as you say, are transferring to offline life and if those anxieties are becoming very heightened because of forum activity then that’s obviously something that I would never wish for you…if you feel as though your emotional well-being is being very negatively impacted, you know…?…

…all I can say is, that there are other levels of ‘stepping back’ without leaving, it doesn’t have to be that definite extreme of one thing or another, you know…?… I know that you have many things that you struggle with and find very difficult and I do understand that BB season probably heightens that struggle …but for all of us/no matter what our particular struggles are/because no one is without them in life…?…it’s all about coping skills, isn’t it….and learning and developing those and applying them when we need to…?…in leaving, it would feel more of an ‘opt out’, rather than a time to practise coping mechanisms so that BB season doesn’t have that same negative impact on you…?…is just a thought, anyway…to distract in other areas or topics or etc whenever you feel the need, while still sharing the things that you like to share on a forum/site that you like to be on…and I do believe in general and overall etc, TiBB is somewhere that you like to be….

…after BB is over…(….which really when you think about it, isn’t too far off..)…we’ll be heading into the Festive/Christmas season which will be such a positive vibe and will help to set that balance for you…and then you’ll start to make sense of it all again, with many feel good times……TiBB is and has always been a huge BB devoted forum …it’s like a forum of two halves really, when you think about it….the more active and sometimes crazy time of BB up there and the more quiet and chilled time down here…and you can choose to opt for the chilled time at any point without feeling that going is the only option..?…you know…?…

…anyway, always wishing you well……

[joeysteele]

Originally Posted by Zizu

Well it's been emotional , peeps

I've been giving this a ridiculous amount of thought and for my own sanity and mental health I have decided to throw in the towel .

I'm finding it harder and harder to remain positive and happy in the real world (the all important place )

Sadly , my moods and anxieties mirror my experiences in this very forum and of late it's been absolutely horrendous and getting worse by the day

I try and fit in , I really do , but I have far more enemies or detractors than friends in here so it's always going to be a struggle

It's got to the stage where I am hesitant about adding a comment for fear of either being contradicted or even mocked or ridiculed ..


Maybe some of us are simply not cut out for the life of a keyboard warrior - certainly not thin skinned people like myself .

Never say never ... and one day I may decide to brave these choppy waters once again but probably not ... I've taken a few self imposed breaks in the past but my detractors in here unfortunately have good memories and soon start pressing the buttons they know will annoy or upset me

Bye

I've not had any issues with you Zizu and even when we disagree I still like reading your posts.

Maybe a break will do you good but I'd hope you would feel able to post again whenever you felt you'd like to.

It took me near 10 years to find the way to cope with unfair baiting and being jumped on as to TIBB.
I used to get worked up many times.
Now I say my piece and leave it and any responses to what I say that I find inappropriate, unacceptable or offensive I just leave them to it and avoid any responding from myself further.
There's very few I need to do that with.
However it did take me near 10 years, to put that avoidance in place.

I hope you are okay Zizu, I for one would be welcoming you back on here if and when you may decide to return
Take care, look after yourself and sending you my very best thoughts.