[Redway]

Originally Posted by Mystic Mock

Tbf there's nothing wrong with a bit of the male or female gaze (which sounds so childish to talk like this, but I'll go with it for the sake of this topic) but it's normal for people to make comments about who they find attractive and who they don't (it's healthy discussion imo) and I do think that it's very odd nowadays how there are certain groups out there that try to shame people (in particular men) for liking how certain women look more than others, it's called a bloody preference it's not a bad thing imo.

I know that there are douchebags out there that do like to make women feel uncomfortable or insecure about themselves, but I do sadly nowadays believe that a lot of people can't tell the difference between a womanizer who has a more old fashioned way of expressing himself but still cares about a woman's feelings, and a perverted individual who sees women as "just a pair of tits” and treats her like dirt.

I agree that there’s nothing wrong with gaze to a certain extent. When it gets inappropriate is when it becomes endless fixation on who looks healthy and who doesn’t, dressed up as concern, and reducing someone’s likability and worth as a followee (in various departments) to how pretty that particular man finds them. Or saying it’s inappropriate to talk sexually in front of 18-year-old young women while fawning over people just 2 years older, trying to safeguard what’s said around women very-slightly younger (which is infantilising in the first place, and-so demeaning) based on very old-fashioned (and old-fashioned is by no means inherently worse, but when it comes to the perception of women per-se, it generally is) while holding the final mantel on who’s worth fawning over just a little beyond that for the sake of infatuation without regard for their actual personalities, just blind gaze (ironically).

But, really, that kind of is genuinely by-the-by as far as this thread goes, tbh. I did mention it in passing to set a boundary between that and just promoting a friend of a friend’s business that comes from a place of female solidarity and wanting to get more “in-shape” for themselves, not for male gaze or to jump on a trend of media-defined attractiveness. And a lot of female body-coach mentors will make that distinction pretty clear themselves, otherwise people overstep or misunderstand what it’s really about. As a male, I think it’s extra-important to clarify that boundary if you join the conversation at any point, so intentions aren’t misconstrued.