[Tilly83]

Hi guys

I have not been on here in an age, but as I recall there are so many ppl on here that give good advice...

My problem is that I split up with my BF 2 wks ago(we had only been together 5 months), after not being able to see each other for 3wks prior to this due to problems I had at home and work. We started bickering and I felt like when i needed him most he wasnt there. I said some awful things to him and also flirted on facebook to get his attention, after an on/off week, we finally meet up and he told me he needed space and that he needed to concentrate on himself for a while.

I am very confused as we both love each other, we planned to have a family (even spoke of kids names) and even decided to buy a house next year. He has said i am the one and that he would fight for our relationship.

I spoke to him last Wednesday and told him i love him and wanted to try work things out, told him he is the one etc...Yet got the same reply I love you but i need my space... I told him i would give him that that i would not text, email or speak to him until he was ready to talk to me, I got a sad smiley (as unfortunately this was on facebook chat) I have had to delete him from my facebook to stop myself talking to him. . So from last Wednesday I have not had any contact with him at all.

I have since been off work with a Viral infection, and as we work together he would know this, I have not had a tx or call from him to ask how I am.
I am confused as even though it was only a 5 month relationship I knew he was/is the one.

How can it go from planning out kids names, buying a house, and talks about marriage to not even talking.

I am 26 and he is 23, Im so confused... I want him back but know if i push him he will only be even more distant, If i flirt with someone else he will only think oh let them have each other.

Please help

[Stephanie]

kill him and find someone else

[Tilly83]

Haha If only it was that simple.... I dont want anyone but him grrrr why did i let myself fall in love again

[Jords]

Print screen what you just wrote,
and show it to him

[Wildcat!]

Your best bet, is to leave him alone. If he really likes you, he will soon miss you if you are away, not if you keep pushing. Sometimes, you dont know what you have until its gone. If he really doenst like you, then its not meant to be. YOu will get over him.

[InOne]

Yeah if he wants you he wants you. Don't push it. Sounds like a hard time you're going through. Love is pain.

[Lauren]

Also sounds like things moved a bit too fast with you guys, in 5 months discussing kids names and buying houses together is rather speedy. Maybe he suddenly felt suffocated, despite the fact he loves you.

You can't force his committal... if he decides he does want a relationship with you then great but don't just hold out and wait for him, don't base all your happiness and decisions on his answer. Leave it a few weeks, if nothing makes progress then accept its over and move on. Next time try not to move as quickly, as right as it seems.

Hope you feel better soon

[Crimson Dynamo]

I think that if he has not asked you to marry him then what is the point of talking about houses and children.

When a 23 year old man says "he needed space and that he needed to concentrate on himself for a while"

that is a code bullshit line.

Stop being needy, forget about him for a month and if after that month he has not called etc then get back out there. There are plenty of other blokes to fall in love with.

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

I think that if he has not asked you to marry him then what is the point of talking about houses and children.

When a 23 year old man says "he needed space and that he needed to concentrate on himself for a while"

that is a code bullshit line.

Stop being needy, forget about him for a month and if after that month he has not called etc then get back out there. There are plenty of other blokes to fall in love with.

Amen.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

I think that if he has not asked you to marry him then what is the point of talking about houses and children.

When a 23 year old man says "he needed space and that he needed to concentrate on himself for a while"

that is a code bullshit line.

Stop being needy, forget about him for a month and if after that month he has not called etc then get back out there. There are plenty of other blokes to fall in love with.

Altough this sounds cruel, It is, unfortunately most probably the truth. Don't chase after him, give him a couple more weeks and then move on. You WILL get over it.

[arsenalforever]

Originally Posted by Niamhxo

Altough this sounds cruel, It is, unfortunately most probably the truth. Don't chase after him, give him a couple more weeks and then move on. You WILL get over it.

sadly its life and things like this happen but you will get on with your life and find someone who cares for you cause if he's paying you no attention then it shows he doesn't care

[Tilly83]

Yeah I know, The thing is he initiated all these convosations. I think if he hadnt of said all that stuff I would be like oh well plenty more fish in the sea, At wedding we went to he actually said "one day will you marry me" He also wanted us to be best friends when we spilt. and he cried when he called it off. I get mixed messages from him and i guess i am clutching at straws. You guys are right I need to move on, when im well and back at work im just going to show him what he lost. Thank you for your advice

[arsenalforever]

Originally Posted by Tilly83

Yeah I know, The thing is he initiated all these convosations. I think if he hadnt of said all that stuff I would be like oh well plenty more fish in the sea, At wedding we went to he actually said "one day will you marry me" He also wanted us to be best friends when we spilt. and he cried when he called it off. I get mixed messages from him and i guess i am clutching at straws. You guys are right I need to move on, when im well and back at work im just going to show him what he lost. Thank you for your advice

a lot of guys say things to keep their girls happy
stuff like geting married or having kids, which sometimes they don't mean.
you seem like a nice girl Tilly and hopefully you find a nice guy

[Tilly83]

I think I will just be a crazy cat lady. My ex was all a girl could ask for and I dumped him for Tom, Luckily for me Rob (my ex before Tom) is still my best friend and he says he still loves me. I think I need to be on my own for a while to work out what i really what and concentrate on my career too.

[arsenalforever]

Originally Posted by Tilly83

I think I will just be a crazy cat lady. My ex was all a girl could ask for and I dumped him for Tom, Luckily for me Rob (my ex before Tom) is still my best friend and he says he still loves me. I think I need to be on my own for a while to work out what i really what and concentrate on my career too.

i think thats the best way Tilly. Just be by yourself and make yourself happy

[Tilly83]

[QUOTE=arsenalforever;2689196]

Aww the best advice always comes from the Irish, (I'm half Irish myself) Unfortunately I didnt get the strength they have

[Crimson Dynamo]

Originally Posted by Tilly83

I think I will just be a crazy cat lady. My ex was all a girl could ask for and I dumped him for Tom, Luckily for me Rob (my ex before Tom) is still my best friend and he says he still loves me. I think I need to be on my own for a while to work out what i really what and concentrate on my career too.

i would never keep ex's as "friends". ex is ex and that is final.

[arsenalforever]

thats sweet of you Tilly

you have the strength don't give up
no guy is worth all the pain you go through

[Tilly83]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

i would never keep ex's as "friends". ex is ex and that is final.

Some ex's I never speak to but he has been there for me no matter what it wasn't a bad break up we even went on holiday together lol

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Tilly83

Some ex's I never speak to but he has been there for me no matter what it wasn't a bad break up we even went on holiday together lol

LeatherTrumpet is right though, best off to cut the ties with exes, more trouble than it's worth. It also interferes with new relationships big time!

[Tilly83]

Originally Posted by arsenalforever

thats sweet of you Tilly

you have the strength don't give up
no guy is worth all the pain you go through

Im sure I will be ok, just need to stay distracted lol

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Tilly83

Im sure I will be ok, just need to stay distracted lol

Somebody who keeps you hanging on like that isn't worth it at all Tilly, trust me.

[Tilly83]

Originally Posted by Niamhxo

LeatherTrumpet is right though, best off to cut the ties with exes, more trouble than it's worth. It also interferes with new relationships big time!

Hmmmm I guess so... I think with Tom I have to be professional as i work with him, Rob new about Tom and has been there helping me thru this, I'm a stange girl

[arsenalforever]

Originally Posted by Niamhxo

LeatherTrumpet is right though, best off to cut the ties with exes, more trouble than it's worth. It also interferes with new relationships big time!

yep thats true i never talk to ex's ever

[Tilly83]

Originally Posted by arsenalforever

yep thats true i never talk to ex's ever

Wow really! I like to stay friend if i can, TBH Rob is the only ex i still talk to, mainly because he knows everything about me and is always there to help me no matter what.

On the other hand some ex's i would quite happily walk past them in the street and not even look at them.

I guess we all deal with things differently, Right now I dont have to many friends I can rely on 100% so the ones I can trust I keep close