[Z]

Originally Posted by angus58

My description is far from "over the top" - unfortunately my ex was brought up in Dr Barnardos and whilst they might have tended to his physical and educational needs, they could never, ever replace a family environment and he was severely emotionally scarred. The marriage broke down because I could not cope with his possessiveness, jealousy and insecurity which all stemmed from his lack of FAMILY love in his childhood. He also had no idea how to be a good father, and was emotionally detached from his own children.

No matter how well meaning, kind and attentive PAID children's home workers are, they go home to their own families and can never be emotionally involved with the children to the extent that a parent is. I really find it incredible that anyone would think it's better to allow children to (and I reiterate), languish in a children's home, rather than be adopted by parents of whatever gender, who want to love, nurture and care for them and put in the years of emotional investment that all good parents put into their kids. You must be aware that at age 18 you are turfed out to live independently, though in my ex husband's day, it was 16. That can be quite scary with no family support system in place.

Ah, well now I understand why your views are so strong; I apologise if I've offended you! I certainly don't agree with the opposition to gay couples adopting because they 'wouldn't be good parents'; anyone who was brought up in a loving family environment will, generally speaking, go on to create a loving family environment of their own when they're older. I don't think it'd be any better to leave a child in a children's home than to send them off to a family; I just know that if I was in that position, I'd want to have chosen my adoptive parents myself and not have been given away when I was too young to know it was happening.