[Jack_]

Originally Posted by NingleBells

I used to think like that but my family hated my ex and I ignored their concerns and stayed with him (luckily didn't get married) turns out they were right all along about him. That's what would make me think differently now, they only wanted what was best for me, I think unless your family are horrible people they wouldn't not accept your partner unless they really were concerned about you

It's not that though, it's just that I don't really think it's any of their business. I wouldn't tell my parents who they can/can't marry, or whether they can have a partner or not, and I wouldn't expect them to listen either...it's none of my business. And so I'd expect [and want] the same thing when it comes to me and my private life. It's just something that I've always thought is none of their business, and is none of my business.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by JackFrost

It's not that though, it's just that I don't really think it's any of their business. I wouldn't tell my parents who they can/can't marry, or whether they can have a partner or not, and I wouldn't expect them to listen either...it's none of my business. And so I'd expect [and want] the same thing when it comes to me and my private life. It's just something that I've always thought is none of their business, and is none of my business.

well that's fair enough, I suppose it depends on the type of relationship you have with your family really, but If I thought someone I cared about was with someone who was really bad for them in some way then I would have to say something and my family do the same back.

[fruit_cake]

^ you must have a good family, I'd never let my family choose anyone for me, they've always been wrong about everything in my life.. I used to listen to them far too often which you do as a child I suppose?

These days if I ever wonder about anything, I ask them and then do the opposite of what they tell me believe it or not.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by christmas_cake

^ you must have a good family, I'd never let my family choose anyone for me, they've always been wrong about everything in my life.. I used to listen to them far too often which you do as a child I suppose?

These days if I ever wonder about anything, I ask them and then do the opposite of what they tell me believe it or not.

yeah I do and it's not that I would let them choose someone for me but I would take it seriously if the disapproved of the person I had chosen and I have asked for their opinions on my husband (when I first started seeing him that is) and they have asked for mine too.

[Jack_]

Originally Posted by NingleBells

well that's fair enough, I suppose it depends on the type of relationship you have with your family really, but If I thought someone I cared about was with someone who was really bad for them in some way then I would have to say something and my family do the same back.

I care about my family a lot and they care about me, but that sort of stuff I just don't agree with. Don't think they feel the same way though obviously.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by JackFrost

I care about my family a lot and they care about me, but that sort of stuff I just don't agree with. Don't think they feel the same way though obviously.

well I couldn't comment on your family really as I don't you or them but you should take notice of their advice if they're people who really care about you, most people learn that the hard way though! (myself included!)

[Angus]

Originally Posted by NingleBells

well I couldn't comment on your family really as I don't you or them but you should take notice of their advice if they're people who really care about you, most people learn that the hard way though! (myself included!)

Exactly. It's not that my friends and family were trying to upset or alienate me by disapproving of my ex, but that, being objective (unlike me), they had seen something in him which wasn't right and they were concerned for me. They didn't actively do anything to prevent me marrying him, they just voiced their concerns to me, and they did their best to welcome him once we were married, but he didn't want to know.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by King Herod

Exactly. It's not that my friends and family were trying to upset or alienate me by disapproving of my ex, but that, being objective (unlike me), they had seen something in him which wasn't right and they were concerned for me. They didn't actively do anything to prevent me marrying him, they just voiced their concerns to me, and they did their best to welcome him once we were married, but he didn't want to know.

yeah exactly and the same with my family when I was with my ex. But it does of course depend on your family though, I would guess that most families only want what's best for their child/brother/sister etc