[GypsyGoth]

I liked it, good opening. I would liked it to be a bit more chatty.

I'd change this "Why do we do this? We do this to protect ourselves; it’s a natural instinct. "

To something like;

Why do we do this? Maybe it's a natural instinct to protect ourselves, or maybe it's to simplify our hectic lives, or give us some control over who we encounter.

Originally Posted by mathews220

I'm fully aware of it's probably utter crap.

Also try and not put things like this with your writing.

And I hope I don't seem too bossy. I think what you wrote was evocative and has potential.