"I was in my bedroom and i shouted downstairs, "Mum there's call the police there's a madman with a set of steak knives hacking me to pieces!" As soon as I heard her scream, I dropped my trousers and commenced the danger wank. As I heard her stomp up the stairs I knew i had to be quick so i upped the pace, i heard her stumble on the top step, which bought me some time. Unfortunately for me I timed my finish badly. As my mum barged through the door armed with a rollign pin I chugged all over her. I spent the evening in A&E with concusion. Now thats what i call extreme DW"
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That's hilarious to me but also slightly disturbing as I have a son :/
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'Smoking marijuana, eating cheetos, and masturbating do not constitute plans in my book.'