[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by Pyramid*

I can see the surgeon's point of view in refusing to remove a healthy breast - after all, they are there to prolong life and not to disfigure unecessarily (sorry for the use of the word given the circumstances) - especially when he was correct in his thoughts that your mum may have refused surgery altogether if she didn't have agreement to the 2nd healthy breast being removed. His immediate concern would have been to get the possible life threatning tissue removed from her, which I think is understandable. Should this have been his decision alone? No but I can appreciate his way of thinking, rightly or wrongly.

See IMO, it is also disfiguring to give her a boob job, even more so really. The suregery to do that would be MUCH more invasive, dangerous, and last much longer. She would end up with bad scarring on here back, and take months to recover from the random grafts that they would need to do. Removing the 'healthy' breast would also eradicate her risk of being in the same situation in the future too. As the kind of cancer she had ONLY affects the breast (to begin with, it can however spread to ribs etc while its there, quite hard to explain)...its not like where you get say lung cancer, get a lung removed and then it pops up in your brain (as happened with my grandad) or however other cancers tend to work. She is also going through a chemical menopause, as the kind she has grows with female hormones...but if it does appear in the other breast during this time, even this is for nothing :/

Originally Posted by Pyramid*

As for the initial misdiagnosis on the size - it's sad, upsetting, frightening and understandably has added to the whole thing - but they are human as well, and they can only go on what they see during scans/xrays etc - perhaps the person explaining the size (pea vs watermelon) used a very bad and very wrong comparison? As you say, the difference in size is huge. Your mum should be able to find out the exact size of the removed tissue if that helps her concerns on what the actual size was? In cutting to the chase - the size of it is ultimately irrespective: it still had to be removed - unfortunately it's added to your mum's mistrust of those who have been dealing with her, which will of course be adding to her feelings of anger after the surgery.

The actual size was a watermelon. First she was told pea, and that she would need a minor operation which she had. During this time she also had something removed from her armpit, as apparently it usually spreads there too. Then she was told it must be a little bit bigger (plum, this time) and that she would need another small operation, which again she had. Then got told it was huge in hthe first place and they missed it and she would need a masectomy and that it might even have spread to her ribs and muscle...this is after a good few months of surgery already. I know they make mistakes, but I find it extremely hard to believe that with all the technology they have they could mistake something as large as a watermelon for something tiny. if they had diagnosed properly in the first place, it would have been over with a lot quicker and she(and we) wouldnt have had so much stress over it all.

Originally Posted by Pyramid*

I can see your mum's viewpoint also: he should have been truthful with her and I can understand her anger and upset as well as a lot of mistrust in how this has been handled and the resultant affect it's had on her now.

Would it be possible that your mum could explain to her GP that it is affecting her emotionally and to her huge detriment with less emphasis on her anger? Clearly she's been very badly affected by this and given the incorrect info and decision made outwith her control - it may add weight to her complaint.

This is what shes trying to do at the moment. First appointment with GP didnt go too well but she says shes not giving up until she gets the answer she wants. She is also looking into pretty much every private surgeon around, and is willing to sign any waivers or anything that they give her in order to get them to do the surgery on her.



Its such a horrid situation to be in, because I have my mum at me in one ear about how mad she is about it all, while I have my sister getting hysterical at the thought that my mum might not have had the surgery if she knew what was going to happen, and that she might have died because of not having the surgery :S

I CAN see both sides, I mean, I would have been mad at my mum, but respected her choice at the same time, had she refused surgery and died like next year. But there is still the chance that she could have been alive and well in 15 years time or something. And tbh, at the moment Im thinking I would rather her have took the risk than see her as upset as she is right now.