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Z · 19-05-2013, 08:53 PM

Chapter 15 - One Loved [preview]

Twenty fourth. I remember reading it and spitting poo everywhere. GypsyGoth had come twenty fourth. Never in my wildest handjobs did I think my anti-GypsyGoth campaign would work so well. Hell, even Dezzy had outlasted her, it was practically a miracle. I actually think I might have pissed myself a little bit, but it wasn't poo so I don't really remember, it's not that important. I had campaigned tirelessly to make sure I finished above her again in Most Loved 7, and now I didn't even mind if I didn't make the top 20 myself, I had done it for a second year running. I was going to make her my bitch. I'd even had the keyrings made, saying so, so you know I meant business. Literally, too, I meant business, I had a roaring trade planned: Jords was going to sell postcards and drawing paraphernalia and I was going to sell keyrings and mugs that said Ginger is better than Goth on them. I was going to PM him right at that moment but I thought it might be insensitive after he'd come 39th and was probably feeling a bit goth at that moment (pfft, looooserrrrr) so I waited until later that night, because I'm sensitive and stuff. As Doogle hit 21st, I felt happy that at least I'd managed another top 20 finish, and my heart started racing as Locke, Mock and two smoking barrels (Lee and Josy) filled up the spots between 20 and 11. I shrieked when Nathan was announced as 12th, I'd beaten him! I'd have to get some t-shirts designed! But just as I started designing "More like Nothan!!!" emblems, ukturtle was announced as 11th! I pooped my pants at that point. I remember that because I love poo. I'd finished higher than my two rivals in Most Loved 6, and I was in the top 10. I started to think I could win. I know that everyone tells you that you should be humble and not get your hopes up, but that's because those people are all two faced and they're too scared to admit they all want to win. I wanted to win. I laughed as Livia was announced, I mouthed off at Mollie, I sniggered at Scott, I nearly nailed it at Novo, I don't have any alliteration for when Zee was 6th, and suddenly I was in the top 5. LemonJam finally crashed out in 5th, **** knows how that happened, I know for a fact he wasn't giving anyone any sexual favours because he called me a "ginger freak" when I asked if he wanted me to donkey punch him for 4 points. Kate was 4th and my body was ready. Niamh was 3rd and suddenly I was on the edge again. Shaun had won it twice before and I was fresh from a 2nd place finish. Suddenly I became very afraid that I hadn't beaten GypsyGoth after all. Perhaps I was doomed to finish 2nd and never reach the top of the list. I'd let Shaun do a Cleveland Steamer on me because I needed his 2 points and I really like poo, but then what if he had lied and he hadn't actually given me 2 points at all? What if he'd only given me 1? Well, he had given me one already but so had Vanessa and Nicole Burks so it wasn't like he was anything special, but I needed as many points as I could get. I could hear GypsyGoth furiously hammering on her keyboard about how much she wanted Shaun to win. I could almost hear her sliding off her seat at the thought of me finishing 2nd again. I let out a fear fart. And then it was time. It was time to find out the result...

Black Dagger · 19-05-2013, 08:55 PM

****ing brilliant.

Will WHSmiths be selling it, Zee?

Z · 19-05-2013, 08:56 PM

Yes, as will Waterstones and your nearest Sainsbury's.

AnnieK · 19-05-2013, 08:57 PM

Brilliant Zee

Marc · 19-05-2013, 09:04 PM

Zee write my biography?

Niamh. · 19-05-2013, 09:09 PM

a fear fart

Z · 19-05-2013, 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marc

Zee write my biography?

Marc - My Life, Your Poo, My Mouth

Benjamin · 19-05-2013, 09:12 PM

Hahahahah. Amazing.

thesheriff443 · 19-05-2013, 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ben

Hahahahah. Amazing.

ben how far did you get for bb12?

Benjamin · 19-05-2013, 09:17 PM

bb12? Oh, yeah, forgot I went to the auditions, hahaha. Not very far this time around, lol.

Lee. · 19-05-2013, 09:28 PM

Ben, did we ever clear up if we all saw you on telly at last years bb launch.. In fact it definitely was you come to think of it, but I went on holiday the day after or something so never found out.