[Z]

Like Ammi I try not to regret anything, you can waste years of your life wishing you had done something differently but it won't change the fact that you did things the way you did them. Some stuff you can rectify in the future (there will always be other opportunities) and other things are final (someone dying)... there's a quote by a man called Robert Brault that I love: "life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got." I think that's great... just make peace with yourself and accept that some things are out of your hands.

The one thing in life that I spent a long time agonising over (which is why I try not to anymore) was the time I went on holiday with my ex and got dumped on the first day and had to spend a week together... that was hard. I often wish I'd never gone, but at the time I decided to go because I would regret not doing it (it was before I moved to Germany for a year) because I think I knew on some level that it was going to end at that point, but when it happened it was the biggest shock in the world... It was a bit of a catch 22 really, if I didn't go I'd have been dumped and been miserable and I thought that if I did go at least it would end in a nice way but it ended up being the most horrible thing in the world...

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Zee

Like Ammi I try not to regret anything, you can waste years of your life wishing you had done something differently but it won't change the fact that you did things the way you did them. Some stuff you can rectify in the future (there will always be other opportunities) and other things are final (someone dying)... there's a quote by a man called Robert Brault that I love: "life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got." I think that's great... just make peace with yourself and accept that some things are out of your hands.

The one thing in life that I spent a long time agonising over (which is why I try not to anymore) was the time I went on holiday with my ex and got dumped on the first day and had to spend a week together... that was hard. I often wish I'd never gone, but at the time I decided to go because I would regret not doing it (it was before I moved to Germany for a year) because I think I knew on some level that it was going to end at that point, but when it happened it was the biggest shock in the world... It was a bit of a catch 22 really, if I didn't go I'd have been dumped and been miserable and I thought that if I did go at least it would end in a nice way but it ended up being the most horrible thing in the world...

..but if you didn't go, then you would have spent so much time and maybe would still be doing so...thinking, if only I had gone..would that have kept the relationship..would we still be together and happy..I should have gone..?...but it didn't keep the relationship together, did it..it didn't make a difference to an inevitable, which is that person was never going to make you happy because the emotions to do that were not strong enough or the time wasn't right or whatever...those 'what ifs'/regrets are much more difficult to come to terms with and resign yourself to than what it's left you with..which is an absolute knowledge that there was nothing else you could do as it was out of your control...and all we can ever spend time looking at are things within our own control...and not other people's....so, no regrets, Zee..