[MarcusMel]

Originally Posted by GiRTh

I dont think she is being misunderstood I think she uses it as an excuse for her frankly obnoxious personality. Once again it everyone else fault not hers. Everyone else needs to adapt to accommodate her. I find little to like in this woman.

Yes it is easy to not like someone. It is harder to take the time to understand someone you don't like. After all what is the point in asking why a person does what we don't like and trying to understand them and thier motives? Lets just stay in our comfort zone and not like it and not try to learn something new.

[GiRTh]

Originally Posted by MarcusMel

Yes it is easy to not like someone. It is harder to take the time to understand someone you don't like. After all what is the point in asking why a person does what we don't like and trying to understand them and thier motives? Lets just stay in our comfort zone and not like it and not try to learn something new.

What about that person asking themselves why they rub people the wrong way? In my experience when someone is supposedly constantly misunderstood the problem usually lies with them and not with everyone else.

[MarcusMel]

Originally Posted by GiRTh

What about that person asking themselves why they rub people the wrong way? In my experience when someone is supposedly constantly misunderstood the problem usually lies with them and not with everyone else.

People can only ever be themselves, discovering that self it the adventure of life. A person is responsible for themselves. That would include their reaction to other people. So what attitude keeps you smiling with people you don't like?

[GiRTh]

Originally Posted by MarcusMel

People can only ever be themselves, discovering that self it the adventure of life. A person is responsible for themselves. That would include their reaction to other people. So what attitude keeps you smiling with people you don't like?

People can only ever be themselves? I dont accept that as an excuse for obnoxious behavior. I have a friend who I believe is a bit of a pyscho. He like upsetting people. He genuinely finds it funny to say the one thing that he knows will upset someone. But he's only being himself? And I've know him since he was 11 so I know what he's like and I actually really like him. Is it up to him to change or everyone else to just accept his very distasteful banter even though he has upset many people over the years.

[MarcusMel]

Originally Posted by GiRTh

People can only ever be themselves? I dont accept that as an excuse for obnoxious behavior. I have a friend who I believe is a bit of a pyscho. He like upsetting people. He genuinely finds it funny to say the one thing that he knows will upset someone. But he's only being himself? And I've know him since he was 11 so I know what he's like and I actually really like him. Is it up to him to change or everyone else to just accept his very distasteful banter even though he has upset many people over the years.

How do parents handle a child that has found saying '*uck' gets them a lot of attention? Simple the attention reward is withdrawn and they stop. I suggest that your friend is attention seeking with his behaviour. Also the lesson he teaches is that the person he is upsetting has a belief that actually causes them a problem and would do well to learn to relax that belief.

Stress causes illness, relaxation and happiness causes health.

Lao Tzu - only your enemies will show you where you are weak.

[GiRTh]

Originally Posted by MarcusMel

How do parents handle a child that has found saying '*uck' gets them a lot of attention? Simple the attention reward is withdrawn and they stop. I suggest that your friend is attention seeking with his behaviour. Also the lesson he teaches is that the person he is upsetting has a belief that actually causes them a problem and would do well to learn to relax that belief.

Stress causes illness, relaxation and happiness causes health.

Lao Tzu - only your enemies will show you where you are weak.

If only it were that simple. One of the things my friend did was tell a mutual friends girlfriend about all the women her boy friend had slept with behind her back. Still think its everyone else who's got the problem?. No its him who has the problem and we've tried every approach. We've tried subtlety, we've threatened him. Nothing gets thru cuz as I have said, I've known this guy since he was 11 so I've watched him turn into this person. Its not attention he's after, he genuinely find upsetting people funny. Hence why I think he's a borderline psycho. That makes him great company but what about when he upsets the wrong person.

I am a believer in behaviour modification. If something isnt working then you try something else. If no one gets you then its you who has the problem not everyone else.

[MarcusMel]

Originally Posted by GiRTh

If only it were that simple. One of the things my friend did was tell a mutual friends girlfriend about all the women her boy friend had slept with behind her back. Still think its everyone else who's got the problem?. No its him who has the problem and we've tried every approach. We've tried subtlety, we've threatened him. Nothing gets thru cuz as I have said, I've known this guy since he was 11 so I've watched him turn into this person. Its not attention he's after, he genuinely find upsetting people funny. Hence why I think he's a borderline psycho. That makes him great company but what about when he upsets the wrong person.

I am a believer in behaviour modification. If something isnt working then you try something else. If no one gets you then its you who has the problem not everyone else.

Behaviour modification - I am a great believer in rational emotional behavioral therapy (REBT). Still we are now going off topic.