[Kazanne]

Originally Posted by optimisticcynic

Reformation and learning are the points of having experiences. Jim's ex-wife may never forgive what he has done, but I have no right to hate him on her behalf as though he beat me. The logic of punishing him eternally is flawed in that none of us are perfect and if raised differently, or having witnessed domestic violence and having become desensitised to it, taught different ideals or placed in different situations, we might be stunned at how our ethical boundaries shift. Jim is controlling himself whilst being constantly attacked. His saying he is not being his usual self may be linked to his own guilt and poor self-view due to past transgressions. That conviction that we are intrinsically evil is often the greatest motivator to effect change in our behaviour. I suspect there is a lot of displacement and projection here and Jim is taking the hatred for some posters' own experiences.

Great post,NONE of us are perfect,it's easy to sit here pontificating on someones past and how people should behave,people in glass houses and all that,WE don't know.WE weren't there,its done its past,so why are people still bringing it up and STILL nothing said about Jasmine and Sams violent past,WHY?,Jims ex wifes new partner also threatened to have him knee capped and killed !!! so it seems Jim probably wasn't the only violent one she hooked up to.