[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Z

My friend would not accept a fake apology off anyone else and my friend doesn't think he should accept a fake apology just because it's a parent giving it but my friend is very aware of how likely it is that his other parent will turn on him if he doesn't accept that apology because no matter how awful things have been, his parents got married for a reason and my friend has come to accept that he will be pushed in front of the bus instead of the marriage because my friend's seen it happen to his older brother already so it's not like my friend is being irrational or paranoid. My friend's choice, ultimately, is to accept a fake apology and for no one to learn a lesson and for everything to be swept under the carpet until the next time it boils up again (my friend would give it less than a year tops); or decline the apology and no longer have parents, essentially. The latter is the easier option even if it's not easy at all but it's obviously not a light decision to take.

Oh wow, it's one of your (friends) parents? That's quite bad isn't it. hhmmmm, It's sad that your friends other parent would not back you or atleast remain neutral, I say that as a mother and a daughter myself. If it were me, I wouldn't make up with my father just so my mother didn't fall out with me, I wouldn't be being true to myself

[Z]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Oh wow, it's one of your (friends) parents? That's quite bad isn't it. hhmmmm, It's sad that your friends other parent would not back you or atleast remain neutral, I say that as a mother and a daughter myself. If it were me, I wouldn't make up with my father just so my mother didn't fall out with me, I wouldn't be being true to myself

It's probably worse that it's my (friend's) mother who is the problem here. The father often believes he is being the middleman negotiating "peace" between the mother and her children when in reality he's just being played and ends up appearing to be two faced to both the mother and the children because he says one thing when he really thinks another and tells different people different things to try and keep them happy. Despite the mother treating the father horribly, he will always choose her over his children at the end of the day because his children won't bend to his will; because "his will" is really just what she wants, he just thinks he's doing the right thing by acting in her best interests when really he's just alienating his children. They wrote their eldest son out of their will and tried to get the middle child and the youngest child to never speak to him again and it sorted of worked for a good year and a half until the middle child, my friend, said enough is enough and reached out to the older brother which is possibly why the mother has lashed out at the middle child. It's all a big mess. My poor friend. So if my friend makes up with, or pretends to make up with, the mother; my friend's older brother and younger brother would be very disappointed in him to say the least because that would be a huge betrayal, and my friend doesn't even want to make up with the mother because she's been completely awful and isn't really sorry for anything.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Z

It's probably worse that it's my (friend's) mother who is the problem here. The father often believes he is being the middleman negotiating "peace" between the mother and her children when in reality he's just being played and ends up appearing to be two faced to both the mother and the children because he says one thing when he really thinks another and tells different people different things to try and keep them happy. Despite the mother treating the father horribly, he will always choose her over his children at the end of the day because his children won't bend to his will; because "his will" is really just what she wants, he just thinks he's doing the right thing by acting in her best interests when really he's just alienating his children. They wrote their eldest son out of their will and tried to get the middle child and the youngest child to never speak to him again and it sorted of worked for a good year and a half until the middle child, my friend, said enough is enough and reached out to the older brother which is possibly why the mother has lashed out at the middle child. It's all a big mess. My poor friend. So if my friend makes up with, or pretends to make up with, the mother; my friend's older brother and younger brother would be very disappointed in him to say the least because that would be a huge betrayal, and my friend doesn't even want to make up with the mother because she's been completely awful and isn't really sorry for anything.

Oh God, that sounds like an awful mess. I don't even want to say exactly what's on my mind because I don't want to insult your (friends) family which is always a bad thing to do

I suppose your friend will just have to play it by ear, I guess the "I'm sorry" bit will be less important then listening to her reasons for being sorry? (If she offers those which she should if she's being genuine)