About Us ThisisBigBrother.com

Mystic Mock · 26-11-2014, 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kirklancaster

You're winning the 'Most Awful Jokes' title hands down so far Mock.

Thanks Kirk, I do feel that we're all putting in a great effort though.

1. What does Kirklancaster tell Lauren to do with her hair? Platt it.

2. What dating show would my Brother like to go on? The Ex Factor.

3. What do you say to a butcher when you're going out with his Daughter? Nice to meat you.

4. What's the common saying when Fishers catch Fish? The Fish fell for it hook, line, and sinker.

5. How do you feel about Luke? I don't know, but I feel a force within him.

Marsh. · 26-11-2014, 08:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kirklancaster

Kyle, Leathertrumpet and Marsh go spying in Syria for the Military and are caught and taken prisoner by ISIS.

The terrorist boss says "We normally behead twats like you but I'm a big fan of TIBB so I'm going to have you flogged, then I'm going to release you.

That afternoon, all 3 are stripped to the waist and tied to 3 posts with their backs to a huge Muslim holding a vicious looking cat o nine tails whip.

The Muslim goes up to Marsh and says; "The boss says you've got a choice of what you want on your back before I flog you.

Marsh says: "Thanks. Can I have some Savlon please?" So the Muslim rubs loads of Savlon into Marsh's back then flogs him until his back's raw and he passes out.

The Muslim moves to Kyle: "What do you want on your back?"

Kyle says: "Feck off. I'm English. I don't need feck all on my back. Do your worst."

The Muslim flogs Kyle's back until it bleeds but Kyle just sneers at him. Eventually the Muslim gives up, moves to Leathertrumpet, and says: "What do you want on your back".

Leathertrumpet says: "Kyle".

.................................................. ..............................................

Fetch The Bolt Cutters · 26-11-2014, 08:41 PM

Mystic Mock · 27-11-2014, 12:08 AM

What do people say about your penis? That it should be kept private.

Fetch The Bolt Cutters · 27-11-2014, 02:28 AM

what

kirklancaster · 27-11-2014, 04:18 AM

Slag Jokes.

What's the difference between Katie Hopkins and Mount Everest?

They know how many men's been up Mt Everest.
.........................

What's the difference between Katie Hopkins and The M1 Motorway?

One knackers your tyres and the other tires your knackers.
.................................

What's the difference between Katie Hopkins and A Cadbury's Creme Egg?

It costs more to lick a Cadbury's Creme Egg out.
................................

What's the difference between Katie Hopkins and a Kit Kat?

You only get 4 fingers in a Kit Kat.

.................................................. ............

What's the difference between Katie Hopkins and A Bucket of Shet?

The bucket.
...............................................

kirklancaster · 27-11-2014, 04:36 AM

Gay Jokes

What do you call 2 Scottish gays?

Ben Doon and Phil McCavity.
.................................................. .

What do you call 2 Irish gays?

Michael Fitzpatricks and Patrick Fitzmichaels.

.................................................. ......................

What do you call 2 deaf gays?

Anything you want they can't hear you.
.................................................. .........

Two screaming 'Queens' meet on the street.

LuLu says: "Oooh FiFi I haven't seen you in ages. You look brown."

FiFi says: "I know. I've been on a safari holiday to Kenya."

Lulu says: "Ooh you lucky bitch. How did it go".

Fifi says: "How did it go? Don't ask me. The very last day I went for a walk on the edge of the jungle and a 20 stone gorilla jumped on me. He ripped my hotpants off, mounted me and had his wicked way with me for 6 hours."

LuLu says: "Oooh. Was you hurt?"

Fifi says: "Hurt? It's been 3 weeks. He hasn't written, he hasn't phoned."

................................................

Mystic Mock · 27-11-2014, 04:52 AM

1. What do people say about Baltimore? That crime is always on The Wire.

2. What rhymes with cooking? ****ing.

3. Do you know what my problem with golden brown is? It reminds me of The Stranglers.

kirklancaster · 27-11-2014, 05:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scott

This may just turn out to be the funniest gag on this thread Scott.

Kizzy · 27-11-2014, 05:28 AM

kirk lancaster and LT were sitting on a beach, kirk says 'It's nice out isn't it?'
LT says ' It is... I think I'll get mine out'

kirklancaster · 27-11-2014, 05:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kizzy

kirk lancaster and LT were sitting on a beach, kirk says 'It's nice out isn't it?'
LT says ' It is... I think I'll get mine out'

A coconut and goldfish for guessing correctly whose was the biggest.

kirklancaster · 27-11-2014, 10:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Mockinator

1. What do people say about Baltimore? That crime is always on The Wire.

2. What rhymes with cooking? ****ing.

3. Do you know what my problem with golden brown is? It reminds me of The Stranglers.

They're getting more awful Mock but we need more - don't let this thread die.

Why do dogs lick their own balls?

Because they can.
...................................

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.

Why did the pervert cross the road?

He couldn't get his dick out of the chicken.