[ChristmasNeeve]

Originally Posted by Kazanne

I am sure you can go to court to get access to your grandchildren,not 100% certain Naimh,someone will able to confirm this or not,but I'm certain I have seen a TV program about it.

Really? I'm not sure I'd agree with that if it is true unless the children used to live with them or something

[Kazanne]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Really? I'm not sure I'd agree with that if it is true unless the children used to live with them or something

It's probably something like this I have seen,I think it can be done as a last resort https://www.gov.uk/contact-grandchil...vorce-separate

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Really? I'm not sure I'd agree with that if it is true unless the children used to live with them or something

IIRC it is along those lines, grandparents can only claim a legal right to see grandchildren if it has been "usual" for them to be a big part of their lives: e.g. A grandparent looking after children every day after school until parents finish work, and then suddenly some rift resulting in ceased contact. If the grandparent didn't have any caring role like that then they really have no legal grounds... And rightly so, in my opinion.

My eldest daughter didn't see her grandparents on my wife's side from around 8 months until nearly 2 and a half. There was a falling out that involved that whole side of the family and, frankly, they were awful to my wife. Really, truly nasty things were said and we cut contact completely. At that point, also, they had a tendency to belittle her and treat her like a child (and a not very well respected child at that) and simply refused to form an equal, adult relationship. They weren't the best parents to her growing up, in various ways.

I actually had to threaten police involvement because my wife was being essentially harassed by text... Eventually we moved over 200 miles away (not for that reason, we had decided to relocate anyway) and my wife got a new mobile number and simply didn't give them any contact details.

We do see them semi regularly now, for the last 3 years or so, and things are generally fine when we do. For the mostpart they have finally accepted that they have to treat us with respect and as equals and if that starts to "slip" (which it does on occasion) conversations are simply put to a swift end and picked up again when they've calmed down. They're just very volatile people, basically.

Anyway, sort of going on a bit, my main point here is that it should always be the parents choice. My wife's parents are both outwardly very "normal", fairly well off, have good jobs, blah blah. They're very good at getting people "on side" and massively misrepresenting things for example, they successfully turned all of my wife's grandparents against her (she still hasn't forgiven one of her grandfathers for some of the things he said) and if there WERE legal avenues for grandparents to access their grandkids, I can almost guarantee that they would have taken them, and that they would have easily convinced a court to grant access, at a time when being forced to see them would have been utterly toxic for our little family and quite traumatic for my wife. It would also have bred a life-long resentment, when all that was really needed was space and time for the relationship to be properly reassessed.

Basically... I believe that unless there is some very strong evidence that parents are making bad decisions, it is essential that they be allowed to take a strong stance in any scenario and decide what's best for them as a family unit. No one should be entitled to undermine a parent's stance on these issues via legal avenues, unless there is a very good reason.