[Shaun]

Choreography

Youtube video

Lyrics

(we see Scott who is wearing a dress that we can only assume he stole from a school teacher who is also a nun, he also has a basic ass wig and terrible make up. He is tending to Jonathan who is comatose for no apparent reason.)
SCOTT
When Marsh is wearing thin
And you're thinking of leaving (for a day)
I'll go anywhere with you
Just don't leave me with Tom

But if you try to leave without me
I'll be as messy as Smithy (in Tesco)
Piss on me
Piss on me

In the silence of the Lounge
You posted Glorangu
Oh what are we going to do-o-o-ooo?
Now that Josy's coming for you?
(We see Kizzy furiously reporting the Glorangu post)

Without us, Tibb is dead
So please ban Jess instead
Piss on me
Piss on me

(Josy appears at the top of some nearby stairs armed with a banhammer in one hand and a broom to clean the thread in another. She descends the stairs like a grim reaper clad in tartan looking to claim Jonathan for the Recently Banned list.)
JOSY
You'd better hope and pray that I don't see those 'anyway' posts
You'd better hope and pray that you'll only be banned for a month at most
'Cause once you're in my sights, there'll be no hope for reprieves
Only time will tell if you'll be banned for as long as the weaves

(Josy and Scott struggle over the comatose Jonathan as Scott belts out those Mariah-esque whistle notes. A gospel choir singing 'piss on me' also joins the crescendo.)
SCOTT
Don't ban him (piss on me)
Don't ban him (piss on me)
Don't, ban him (piss on me)
No, no no, no, noooooooo (piss, piss, piss, piss, piiiiiiiiiiiiiissss)
Piss on me....

(bored of struggling with Scott, Josy decides not to ban Jonathan and walks away, choosing to instead ban Glenn for his visually offensive lack of hair. Jonathan wakes up as the last line is sung)