[Shaun]

Total darkness inside the arena. A countdown appears on the screen, numbers emblazoned in colours of hot pink

10
A flash of lights and the stage is illuminated for a fraction of a second

9
Another Flash

8
Flash. People are moving onto the stage

7
An odd shape is emerging from the stage floor

6
The stage is being filled

5
A boom echoes around the arena as the countdown reaches its final phase

4
BOOM

3
BOOM

2
BOOM

1
BOOM

Lights burst into life as Mr Penisul takes center stage. A jet pack strapped to his back. A penis is inked onto his face, his hallmark. He stands with his arms spread wide, embracing his audience.

The performance begins

Youtube video

If your pubes are moving, if your pubes are moving
If your pubes are moving, then you need a clinic baby
If your pubes are moving, if your pubes are moving
If your pubes are moving, then you need a clinic baby

Boy, look at that disgusting rash
Tell me that you're not into that girls gash
You think this could be erased
Nah, I let you cum all over my face
I'm a classy gay, homo outta here
You're full of something but it ain't love
And what you got, smells like fish poo
Go find somebody new

You can tell me its not infected and deny-ny-ny, ny-ny-ny, deny-ny
But I smell it on your ballsack so goodbye-bye-bye, bye-bye-bye

I know you lie
'Cause your pubes are moving
Tell me did you use your thumb?
I might be young, but I ain't stupid
Making it quiver with your tongue
I gave you ass, you gave me herpes
Saying how, I'm the only one
But I know you lie
'Cause your pubes are moving
Baby don't you know I'm done

If your pubes are moving, if your pubes are moving
If your pubes are moving, then you need a clinic baby
If your pubes are moving, if your pubes are moving
If your pubes are moving, then you need a clinic baby

Hey baby don't you bring them swabs
'Cause it's too late, too late baby
My ass and dick are squeaky clean
Disappear with your damaged peen

You can hide your oozing penis and deny-ny-ny, ny-ny-ny, deny-ny
I'm not here for healing creams so goodbye-bye-bye, bye-bye-bye

I know you lie
'Cause your pubes are moving
Tell me did you use your thumb?
I might be young, but I ain't stupid
Making it quiver with your tongue
I gave you ass, you gave me herpes
Saying how I'm the only one
But I know you lie
'Cause your pubes are moving
Baby don't you know I'm done

Come on, gays!

If your pubes are moving, if your pubes are moving
If your pubes are moving, then you need a clinic baby
If your pubes are moving, if your pubes are moving
If your pubes are moving, then you need a clinic baby

I know you lie
'Cause your pubes are moving
Tell me did you use your thumb?
I might be young, but I ain't stupid
Making it quiver with your tongue
I gave you ass, you gave me herpes
Saying how, I'm the only one
But I know you lie
'Cause your pubes are moving
Baby don't you know I'm done

Mr Penisul takes a bow to his audience and as the crowd are clambering to their feet for an ovation, he ignites the jet pack and rises into the air and disappears into the sky.