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Old 24-12-2015, 09:16 PM #1
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Default Some Christmas Advice from Novo

1) Safe sex is a must this Christmas so I advice members such as Harry, Jarrod, Jords and Mock to wear protection if they don't want to get their missus up the duff and always remember to pull out no funny business like trying to say you had forgotten

2) Mentioned this one to Drew before and I can't emphasise enough the importance of pretending you are Bugeyes Ozil when you are stuffing a Turkey, nice and smooth silky and all you have to do is pretend Theo is making a Run into the box and then slide a through ball into his path and he will do the rest for you

3) if you have brought **** presents for your siblings i suggest you replace the tags on the presents with your parents one and it all ways works a treat come morning time

4) Make sure to buy The Princess Bride on DVD and get it set up for the afternoon when the family come over, its all an all time Christmas Cracker that is sure to entertain and bring a tear to many eyes in the room

5) get Sky 363 on in the morning and have a good sing along whilst wearing your Christmas hat and preparing the food

6) instead of praying to Jesus before Dinner were going to mix it up this year and pray for purdy as he enters a dark era as a supporter of Liverpool , I suggest you spare as few prayers just for him tomorrow as well

7) get drinking a few tonight so tomorrow you can be a bit hungover and get out of doing the Christmas Dinner if you can't be assed with it

8) Vegetarians I suggest you give up being a vegetarian for tomorrow and just enjoy the taste of meat and bin that nut roast asap, you will never enjoy Christmas properly otherwise
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Old 24-12-2015, 09:18 PM #2
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Tosh
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Old 24-12-2015, 09:19 PM #3
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You've just improved my Christmas with this advice, thank you Andrew
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Old 24-12-2015, 09:26 PM #4
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You could have told me The Princess Bride was strictly a festive treat before you upset me by falling asleep through it back in March!!!!!!!
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Old 25-12-2015, 01:44 AM #5
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Hahaha classic
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Old 25-12-2015, 01:47 AM #6
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What the hell is this crap
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Old 25-12-2015, 05:38 AM #7
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What the hell is this crap

Yes Novo
still the joker
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Old 25-12-2015, 05:51 AM #8
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..I know that you don't do Christmas Day, Arista but have a lovely 25th December day..may the force be with you my friend.....
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Old 25-12-2015, 08:16 AM #9
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Thanks Andy, would never have managed through the day without this help

Merry Christmas
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