[user104658]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

Why don't you ask him to swear on the bible that apology is sincere... I bet he'll struggle

I'll take that bet!

Probably will struggle though... in so much that I'm not sure where I'd actually find one to swear on. A church maybe? Do churches just have them lying about these days? But they're all locked at night... hmmmm... Wait! I know! A hotel!! Hotels ALWAYS have a bible in the room. Actually hold on a minute... the last few times I've been in a hotel there hasn't been one. It's probably considered a jihad-trigger these days or something.

Buy one? Do you buy bibles? And where? It seems sort of wrong that they'd be for sale... ... ... and which bible shop is going to be open at this time?

Ugh. Maybe Kirk would send me one of his? He probably has like 20, various editions with various translations and such. I can't ask Truth, he only has one and it's covered in this weird sticky gunk... I don't even know... it smells like ammonia.

Which is the best bible to swear on? Is there a heirarchy of bibles?

WAIT! I've got it!!

http://www.bible.com

...there's an app! I can just get the app and swear on my phone! Hooraaay, I shall do this post-haste.

(tl;dr = I'll swear anything you want on the bible or any other book you can think of, because it's words on woodpulp. Utterly meaningless.)

[edited to add] ...In my opinion