[user104658]

Originally Posted by Withano

I personally think all humans are polygamous, and the only reason people pretend otherwise is because of some firm deep-rooted social construct.

This guy seems a tit for other reasons.

I think this gets very complicated. I believe that all humans are naturally polyamorous to a large extent but in the most platonic sense. We are all fully capable of loving multiple individuals on a very deep level WITHOUT it ever having to be more than platonic (in the purest sense of that term) and without it ever having to be in the sense of "multiple partners". Also completely gender / orientation neutral, and still maintaining monogamous sexual relationships with a long term partner.

BUT, this is where social constructs come into it; we are socially hyper-sexualised. Most people simply can't separate having a deep, honest love for another individual - being able to appreciate them both intellectually and physically - without confusing that with "wanting to smoosh genitals". We are socially conditioned to strongly believe that non-familial deep affection = sexual attraction. That aesthetic appreciation of physical form = sexual attraction. That a combination of both must = "being in love and wanting to smoosh loads".

Not least, we're conditioned to see it in other people and that alters people's behaviour and how they express themselves. People are afraid to express connections, deep appreciation, or love of people who they have NO intention of being in a relationship with or being sexual with, simply because other people (or the person it's directed at) might assume that they DO want that. Particularly true of people in relationships.


So yeah in basic terms, I think people are much more capable of deep un-selfish love than we allow ourselves to be, because society (and definitely mainstream society) going back pretty much forever is far too focused on the sexual aspect of human closeness.

[smudgie]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

I think this gets very complicated. I believe that all humans are naturally polyamorous to a large extent but in the most platonic sense. We are all fully capable of loving multiple individuals on a very deep level WITHOUT it ever having to be more than platonic (in the purest sense of that term) and without it ever having to be in the sense of "multiple partners". Also completely gender / orientation neutral, and still maintaining monogamous sexual relationships with a long term partner.

BUT, this is where social constructs come into it; we are socially hyper-sexualised. Most people simply can't separate having a deep, honest love for another individual - being able to appreciate them both intellectually and physically - without confusing that with "wanting to smoosh genitals". We are socially conditioned to strongly believe that non-familial deep affection = sexual attraction. That aesthetic appreciation of physical form = sexual attraction. That a combination of both must = "being in love and wanting to smoosh loads".

Not least, we're conditioned to see it in other people and that alters people's behaviour and how they express themselves. People are afraid to express connections, deep appreciation, or love of people who they have NO intention of being in a relationship with or being sexual with, simply because other people (or the person it's directed at) might assume that they DO want that. Particularly true of people in relationships.


So yeah in basic terms, I think people are much more capable of deep un-selfish love than we allow ourselves to be, because society (and definitely mainstream society) going back pretty much forever is far too focused on the sexual aspect of human closeness.

Well said TS.
Putting it simply, life is a whole lot easier once we realise that lust, infatuation and love are not all the same thing.


Very nice when all three come together in a relationship though.