[Jamie89]

Originally Posted by Maru

It's just simply about what helps us to be the most comfortable. Doctor's visits are not trip to the park. It's talking about personal issues and not everyone wants to talk about those things on a frequent basis.

This is all anecdotal/hearsay, but it seems like women are much more in-tune with their self-care than men. Sometimes I think we obsess too much about our own bodies, but in the very least, we think far more about it and that discussion tends to make men kinda crazy or lack words to respond... (some of my male doctors are like this)

When I did caretaking, you could see the differences in how men and women deal with healthcare. Men, I don't think they want a woman who over-analyzes all their inner workings, so I notice some prefer men (though they seem to be more OK with either). My husband doesn't want to deal with it. Men hate being babied and my husband dislikes it when I 'worry' over him (and then gets mad when I'm right later on). Women are usually the nurturing ones, so it's a bit weird when we're on the other side needing the actual nurturing. It can make some ppl feel a bit vulnerable, especially those who are so used to caring for other. So it's difficult to describe what is going on, and often there is a strong emotional component to it that needs unpacking.

For example, when I took my grandmother in to have something treated, we had a male doctor and she had trouble speaking up "Does this hurt?" "Yep". I put her in front of a woman, and after we got through a few questions, she delivered like a book. Basically, it comes down to trust. Men would rather just get through the visit with as few prompts as possible and say only what is necessary. Unless it's talking about how they ripped a whatever working out or picking up furniture, they tend to be more a-emotional when it comes to health.

Women also tend to not only want to, but need to talk out their problems on a more emotional level, especially in the cases where there are diseases that effect women in larger numbers and have higher emotional components. When it comes to things like hygiene or self-care for our own specific "issues", we prefer a female because they usually speak the same language and just "get it" with fewer fuss (and empty stares). It just goes much smoother.

If you tell a man about all the cramps and different foods that make us look bloated, men are just going to flop over in their seats and roll their eyes That's just almost always seems to be the case. Men don't fixate on their health and some male doctors don't understand why we make such a big deal out of it.

When I was put in a study, they gave me a half-inch thick "manual" of sorts on how to cope with the disease. It's not a simple take medication and it'll be fine. It requires an elimination diet and treating your issue(s) like food allergies and also analyzing how you handle stress in your life (which was really difficult given the symptoms). I literally had a lady I spoke to over the phone regularly who kept up with my treatment (and did hand holding) and I don't think I could've gotten through that without my sisterhood. I also subscribed to a forum that is pretty much 99% women and the comradery I found there is just simply amazing.

There are diseases that effect women in much larger numbers (like 90%) and their symptoms do connect or at least become exacerbated by high stress factors. This is anecdotal, but it just seems like women's bodies just tend to be more sensitive to various factors, such as diet/emotional/hormonal. For example, I've known more women to have severely bad reactions to hormonal shifts than men. I can't take birth control for example. My husband is actually out of range on some of his, but he's asymptomatic, so he doesn't need medication.

Anyway, I have switched to male uro (he's a freaking badass) and a male gyno now, so it's not like male doctors can't be good too. But, I've long learned to cope and know my regime, so I'm just in need of "maintenance" every now and then. I don't really need anyone to hold my hand anymore.

TLDR: To sum it all, it's about trust and making the visit the least stressful/embarrassing/traumatic () as possible. Women tick differently than men, so we have different things that come into consideration compared to men.

Thanks Maru that's all very interesting to think about.

It's interesting you mentioned your grandma's experience. My Grandma is currently experiencing some problems with mental health issues and without going into too much detail on a public forum lol (and it's all pretty complicated), but basically she recently refused help from her GP (who is a man) or to discuss what's been happening recently with him. It wouldn't have even crossed my mind that his gender might have been a factor in her shutting herself off from medical help. And it might not be that, she has quite a complicated history, but it's interesting to consider that she might be more willing to get help or communicate with a female doctor. It's something to think about anyway.