[Jamie89]

Originally Posted by Livia

It's isn't just fear of assault. I want a female who gets me because she's been there herself. Sadly, medics are just human beings. Although the majority will be great, there will be a few who are not. If I requested a female medic on religious grounds the request would be met immediately. I don't understand why that's acceptable and simply choosing a female - and I mean a born female - to examine you.

And as for your original question, I have always found the NHS, despite their shortage of funds and overwork, will always go the extra mile to make someone comfortable if they are able. If a man would prefer a woman medic, and one is available, I'm sure they would make it so.

Originally Posted by DemolitionRed

A man can't just request a female nurse or doctor but if there are issues then that obviously has to be considered. Any patient has a right to have a chaperone (normally a health assistant or nurse)

Ok thanks both. It's not something I've ever really thought about before but thinking about it now, I can't imagine feeling a preference of the gender of my doctor, say if it was a prostate exam or something where a male doctor might understand better what it's like to go through one. So I get where you're coming from Livia I just struggle to really understand it I suppose since I don't feel it myself. Maybe bots is right and it's more a male/female thing. Makes me wonder if a part of it is actually due to women being more likely to be shamed over their bodies, feeling judged by men, general objectification of women in society compared to men, and all of that having an impact.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Jamie89

Ok thanks both. It's not something I've ever really thought about before but thinking about it now, I can't imagine feeling a preference of the gender of my doctor, say if it was a prostate exam or something where a male doctor might understand better what it's like to go through one. So I get where you're coming from Livia I just struggle to really understand it I suppose since I don't feel it myself. Maybe bots is right and it's more a male/female thing. Makes me wonder if a part of it is actually due to women being more likely to be shamed over their bodies, feeling judged by men, general objectification of women in society compared to men, and all of that having an impact.

Quite possibly Jamie, also as BOTS said women tend to have to spend time with Doctors for womens stuff a big percentage of the time they spend at the Doctors in general. My GP is female and I find when I'm trying to explain things to her she knows exactly what I'm talking about first hand where as it's different if I have a hospital appointment and have a male Doctor it's more of an awkward conversation for me

[Maru]

Originally Posted by Jamie89

Ok thanks both. It's not something I've ever really thought about before but thinking about it now, I can't imagine feeling a preference of the gender of my doctor, say if it was a prostate exam or something where a male doctor might understand better what it's like to go through one. So I get where you're coming from Livia I just struggle to really understand it I suppose since I don't feel it myself. Maybe bots is right and it's more a male/female thing. Makes me wonder if a part of it is actually due to women being more likely to be shamed over their bodies, feeling judged by men, general objectification of women in society compared to men, and all of that having an impact.

It's just simply about what helps us to be the most comfortable. Doctor's visits are not trip to the park. It's talking about personal issues and not everyone wants to talk about those things on a frequent basis.

This is all anecdotal/hearsay, but it seems like women are much more in-tune with their self-care than men. Sometimes I think we obsess too much about our own bodies, but in the very least, we think far more about it and that discussion tends to make men kinda crazy or lack words to respond... (some of my male doctors are like this)

When I did caretaking, you could see the differences in how men and women deal with healthcare. Men, I don't think they want a woman who over-analyzes all their inner workings, so I notice some prefer men (though they seem to be more OK with either). My husband doesn't want to deal with it. Men hate being babied and my husband dislikes it when I 'worry' over him (and then gets mad when I'm right later on). Women are usually the nurturing ones, so it's a bit weird when we're on the other side needing the actual nurturing. It can make some ppl feel a bit vulnerable, especially those who are so used to caring for other. So it's difficult to describe what is going on, and often there is a strong emotional component to it that needs unpacking.

For example, when I took my grandmother in to have something treated, we had a male doctor and she had trouble speaking up "Does this hurt?" "Yep". I put her in front of a woman, and after we got through a few questions, she delivered like a book. Basically, it comes down to trust. Men would rather just get through the visit with as few prompts as possible and say only what is necessary. Unless it's talking about how they ripped a whatever working out or picking up furniture, they tend to be more a-emotional when it comes to health.

Women also tend to not only want to, but need to talk out their problems on a more emotional level, especially in the cases where there are diseases that effect women in larger numbers and have higher emotional components. When it comes to things like hygiene or self-care for our own specific "issues", we prefer a female because they usually speak the same language and just "get it" with fewer fuss (and empty stares). It just goes much smoother.

If you tell a man about all the cramps and different foods that make us look bloated, men are just going to flop over in their seats and roll their eyes That's just almost always seems to be the case. Men don't fixate on their health and some male doctors don't understand why we make such a big deal out of it.

When I was put in a study, they gave me a half-inch thick "manual" of sorts on how to cope with the disease. It's not a simple take medication and it'll be fine. It requires an elimination diet and treating your issue(s) like food allergies and also analyzing how you handle stress in your life (which was really difficult given the symptoms). I literally had a lady I spoke to over the phone regularly who kept up with my treatment (and did hand holding) and I don't think I could've gotten through that without my sisterhood. I also subscribed to a forum that is pretty much 99% women and the comradery I found there is just simply amazing.

There are diseases that effect women in much larger numbers (like 90%) and their symptoms do connect or at least become exacerbated by high stress factors. This is anecdotal, but it just seems like women's bodies just tend to be more sensitive to various factors, such as diet/emotional/hormonal. For example, I've known more women to have severely bad reactions to hormonal shifts than men. I can't take birth control for example. My husband is actually out of range on some of his, but he's asymptomatic, so he doesn't need medication.

Anyway, I have switched to male uro (he's a freaking badass) and a male gyno now, so it's not like male doctors can't be good too. But, I've long learned to cope and know my regime, so I'm just in need of "maintenance" every now and then. I don't really need anyone to hold my hand anymore.

TLDR: To sum it all, it's about trust and making the visit the least stressful/embarrassing/traumatic () as possible. Women tick differently than men, so we have different things that come into consideration compared to men.

[Jamie89]

Originally Posted by Maru

It's just simply about what helps us to be the most comfortable. Doctor's visits are not trip to the park. It's talking about personal issues and not everyone wants to talk about those things on a frequent basis.

This is all anecdotal/hearsay, but it seems like women are much more in-tune with their self-care than men. Sometimes I think we obsess too much about our own bodies, but in the very least, we think far more about it and that discussion tends to make men kinda crazy or lack words to respond... (some of my male doctors are like this)

When I did caretaking, you could see the differences in how men and women deal with healthcare. Men, I don't think they want a woman who over-analyzes all their inner workings, so I notice some prefer men (though they seem to be more OK with either). My husband doesn't want to deal with it. Men hate being babied and my husband dislikes it when I 'worry' over him (and then gets mad when I'm right later on). Women are usually the nurturing ones, so it's a bit weird when we're on the other side needing the actual nurturing. It can make some ppl feel a bit vulnerable, especially those who are so used to caring for other. So it's difficult to describe what is going on, and often there is a strong emotional component to it that needs unpacking.

For example, when I took my grandmother in to have something treated, we had a male doctor and she had trouble speaking up "Does this hurt?" "Yep". I put her in front of a woman, and after we got through a few questions, she delivered like a book. Basically, it comes down to trust. Men would rather just get through the visit with as few prompts as possible and say only what is necessary. Unless it's talking about how they ripped a whatever working out or picking up furniture, they tend to be more a-emotional when it comes to health.

Women also tend to not only want to, but need to talk out their problems on a more emotional level, especially in the cases where there are diseases that effect women in larger numbers and have higher emotional components. When it comes to things like hygiene or self-care for our own specific "issues", we prefer a female because they usually speak the same language and just "get it" with fewer fuss (and empty stares). It just goes much smoother.

If you tell a man about all the cramps and different foods that make us look bloated, men are just going to flop over in their seats and roll their eyes That's just almost always seems to be the case. Men don't fixate on their health and some male doctors don't understand why we make such a big deal out of it.

When I was put in a study, they gave me a half-inch thick "manual" of sorts on how to cope with the disease. It's not a simple take medication and it'll be fine. It requires an elimination diet and treating your issue(s) like food allergies and also analyzing how you handle stress in your life (which was really difficult given the symptoms). I literally had a lady I spoke to over the phone regularly who kept up with my treatment (and did hand holding) and I don't think I could've gotten through that without my sisterhood. I also subscribed to a forum that is pretty much 99% women and the comradery I found there is just simply amazing.

There are diseases that effect women in much larger numbers (like 90%) and their symptoms do connect or at least become exacerbated by high stress factors. This is anecdotal, but it just seems like women's bodies just tend to be more sensitive to various factors, such as diet/emotional/hormonal. For example, I've known more women to have severely bad reactions to hormonal shifts than men. I can't take birth control for example. My husband is actually out of range on some of his, but he's asymptomatic, so he doesn't need medication.

Anyway, I have switched to male uro (he's a freaking badass) and a male gyno now, so it's not like male doctors can't be good too. But, I've long learned to cope and know my regime, so I'm just in need of "maintenance" every now and then. I don't really need anyone to hold my hand anymore.

TLDR: To sum it all, it's about trust and making the visit the least stressful/embarrassing/traumatic () as possible. Women tick differently than men, so we have different things that come into consideration compared to men.

Thanks Maru that's all very interesting to think about.

It's interesting you mentioned your grandma's experience. My Grandma is currently experiencing some problems with mental health issues and without going into too much detail on a public forum lol (and it's all pretty complicated), but basically she recently refused help from her GP (who is a man) or to discuss what's been happening recently with him. It wouldn't have even crossed my mind that his gender might have been a factor in her shutting herself off from medical help. And it might not be that, she has quite a complicated history, but it's interesting to consider that she might be more willing to get help or communicate with a female doctor. It's something to think about anyway.

[Maru]

Originally Posted by Jamie89

Thanks Maru that's all very interesting to think about.

It's interesting you mentioned your grandma's experience. My Grandma is currently experiencing some problems with mental health issues and without going into too much detail on a public forum lol (and it's all pretty complicated), but basically she recently refused help from her GP (who is a man) or to discuss what's been happening recently with him. It wouldn't have even crossed my mind that his gender might have been a factor in her shutting herself off from medical help. And it might not be that, she has quite a complicated history, but it's interesting to consider that she might be more willing to get help or communicate with a female doctor. It's something to think about anyway.

Yeah, obviously it it varies by situation/circumstance, but there are times when being with someone who is better in sync with your specific differences are key to your care. A transgender may prefer another transgender physician for example, because they may see or consider things in someone's care that a non-trans would see. It's just better to have a choice. Obviously, there are times when it doesn't really matter. Like an ER, unless there's some sort of religious practice that not to have a male physician work with you, it should be reasonable enough to deal with whatever. And I don't think God would be too upset if you were unconscious and really had no say... and you wouldn't be aware of it anyway.

My other grandmother when she worked nursing (20+ years ago), she had to deal with elderly pt's who didn't want to be seen by African American men or other men, etc. They had mental issues as well (things like Alzheimers) and would flip a **** and get violent (like panic attack sorta rage) if you didn't comply with them. She's very understanding despite this and says it's pretty inhumane to try to place one's personal/politic motivators over the care of the pt. It's also not worth the time and effort to sit there and argue with them to convince it to do it their way. When she quit nursing, she started care-taking and some of the people she care-taked for were some of the most vile/obscene... like she would drive one old man around and he would scream out at other passengers in other cars "You *****ing n--" (etc)... he had been shot one time for doing that and that didn't change his behavior. He was quite vile. Some people you can't change no matter how much social conditioning you add to the equation... everyone has their neuroses. It's just a fact of life and something she not only accepted but affected her practice. She treated them all the same and they love/trusted her for it. In fact, part of the reason she quit working at the nursing home and went into caretaking was because too many people kept requesting for her. (plus she was getting too old to be doing as much of the heavy lifting)