[jaxie]

Originally Posted by Maru

Yeah, and I can understand where people don't really want to have this discussion with folk who already struggle everyday with their identity. To that end, I can understand how India's feelings were not just hurt in some trivial way.

Maybe in her real life, people handle her fragility differently (with kid gloves) and keeps these conversations to a minimum as a means to not exacerbate her dysphoria. But I also don't think that we should be encouraging this perception that just because you change your sex on your ID or have work done, that other's perception of your sex/gender should also change. These shouldn't be sold as a bill of goods, a means to achieving permanent acceptance in other people's eyes. What it should represent is your individual choice to live as a particular gender and to enjoy your legal rights while doing so (i.e. use the bathroom of that gender), to go with the internal work. To sell it as more than this is not only harmful but will lead to disappointment. I don't think she's fully transitioned spiritually/mentally in this respect.. she really does seem to treat it as though being a woman comes down to boobs, cloths and hair (the whole "diva" thing)... and just kinda missing out on everything else in the process. She could have a very good experience in the house if she would just let things happen.

In many ways I think India as a representative of trans just shows that much more counselling and less surgical procedure may be more appropriate in some cases. I don't think the surgery she has had is going to give India what she wants. There is a lot of talk about transformation but that has to be personal because your transformation isn't necessarily transforming others or how they will see you.