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Old 14-03-2012, 11:09 AM #1
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Josy View Post
My dad used to tell me lots of jokes like that when I was a kid

What do you call a man with dirt on his head?
Spoiler:

Pete

What do you call a man with a spade on his head?
Spoiler:

Doug

What do you call a man with a toilet on his head?
Spoiler:

Lou

What do you call a man with leaves on his head?
Spoiler:

Russel

What do you call a woman with a radiator on her head?
Spoiler:

Anita

What do you call a man with a scratch on his face?
Spoiler:

Claude


I can't remember any more atm.
What do you call a man with no spade on his head?

Spoiler:

Douglas
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Spoiler:



Quote:
Originally Posted by GiRTh View Post
You compare Jim Davidson to Nelson Mandela?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus. View Post
I know, how stupid? He's more like Gandhi.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isaiah 7:14 View Post



Katie Hopkins reveals epilepsy made her suicidal - and says she identifies as a MAN
Quote:
Originally Posted by Livia View Post
Just because she is a giant cock, doesn't make her a man.
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Old 14-03-2012, 11:15 AM #2
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What do you call a man with a car on his head.....jack
..actually I'd call him ****ed
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Old 14-03-2012, 01:07 AM #3
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Why did Zee change his clothes?

He touched a Filipino girl accidentally in an elevator and spent the entire walk home trying not to vomit
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Spoiler:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Saph View Post
You're giving me a million reasons about a million reasons
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amy Jade View Post
I love just watching fishtanks its theraputic
Quote:
Originally Posted by T* View Post
Vaginas emit a toxic goop known as marsh repellent
Quote:
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I wash my hands with you Ammi. YOU DISGRACE.
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Old 14-03-2012, 11:05 AM #4
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What do you call a woman standing in between two houses?

Spoiler:

Elaine
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GiRTh View Post
You compare Jim Davidson to Nelson Mandela?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus. View Post
I know, how stupid? He's more like Gandhi.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isaiah 7:14 View Post



Katie Hopkins reveals epilepsy made her suicidal - and says she identifies as a MAN
Quote:
Originally Posted by Livia View Post
Just because she is a giant cock, doesn't make her a man.
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Old 14-03-2012, 11:07 AM #5
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What do you call a woman with a tile on her head?

Spoiler:

Ruth


What do you call a man with no arms and legs in water?

Spoiler:

Bob
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It's never too late to be who you once could have been...

Spoiler:



Quote:
Originally Posted by MTVN

Anyway there's an explanation and I don't really appreciate your tone. It's very aggressive so I'm going to close this, sorry for killing the internet mate
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crimson Dynamo View Post
Here iv made a wee paper plane

Older than Niamh
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Old 14-03-2012, 11:08 AM #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ukturtle View Post
What do you call a man with no arms and legs in water?

Spoiler:

Bob
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Old 19-03-2012, 11:06 AM #7
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News - Torres scores and lifts his shirt to reveal a 'Save the Chilean Miners' T-Shirt.
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Old 14-03-2012, 11:27 AM #8
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What do you call this thread and all of its jokes apart from Greg's and Shaun's?

Shit.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saph View Post
You're giving me a million reasons about a million reasons
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amy Jade View Post
I love just watching fishtanks its theraputic
Quote:
Originally Posted by T* View Post
Vaginas emit a toxic goop known as marsh repellent
Quote:
Originally Posted by Black Dagger View Post
I wash my hands with you Ammi. YOU DISGRACE.
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Old 14-03-2012, 11:31 AM #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shaun View Post
What do you call this thread and all of its jokes apart from Greg's and Shaun's?

Shit.
..no..I don't get that one
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Old 14-03-2012, 12:01 PM #10
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what do you call ammi

Spoiler:

ammi
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Old 14-03-2012, 12:04 PM #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scott View Post
what do you call ammi

Spoiler:

ammi
..see...why can't Shaun's be as good as that
..you have a gift Scott
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Old 14-03-2012, 12:05 PM #12
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Why was six scared of seven?

Spoiler:

Because Scott molested all the men
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It's never too late to be who you once could have been...

Spoiler:



Quote:
Originally Posted by MTVN

Anyway there's an explanation and I don't really appreciate your tone. It's very aggressive so I'm going to close this, sorry for killing the internet mate
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crimson Dynamo View Post
Here iv made a wee paper plane

Older than Niamh
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Old 14-03-2012, 12:07 PM #13
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I no laugh yet.

bad amazing jokes thread is bad.
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Old 14-03-2012, 12:14 PM #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Black Dagger View Post
I no laugh yet.

bad amazing jokes thread is bad.
That's because you are emotionally dead.
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Spoiler:



Quote:
Originally Posted by MTVN

Anyway there's an explanation and I don't really appreciate your tone. It's very aggressive so I'm going to close this, sorry for killing the internet mate
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crimson Dynamo View Post
Here iv made a wee paper plane

Older than Niamh
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Old 14-03-2012, 12:21 PM #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ukturtle View Post
That's because you are emotionally dead.
You're actually right
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Old 14-03-2012, 12:16 PM #16
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I actually don't get the first joke.. o.o
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Old 16-05-2013, 04:08 PM #17
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What's a specimen?

Spoiler:

An Italian astronaut
__________________

Spoiler:



Quote:
Originally Posted by GiRTh View Post
You compare Jim Davidson to Nelson Mandela?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus. View Post
I know, how stupid? He's more like Gandhi.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isaiah 7:14 View Post



Katie Hopkins reveals epilepsy made her suicidal - and says she identifies as a MAN
Quote:
Originally Posted by Livia View Post
Just because she is a giant cock, doesn't make her a man.
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Old 16-05-2013, 04:19 PM #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Niamh. View Post
What's a specimen?

Spoiler:

An Italian astronaut
I'm properly crying with laughter at this
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Old 16-05-2013, 04:23 PM #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zee View Post
I'm properly crying with laughter at this
I can't decide if I prefer that one or

What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?

Spoiler:

Roberto
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GiRTh View Post
You compare Jim Davidson to Nelson Mandela?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus. View Post
I know, how stupid? He's more like Gandhi.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isaiah 7:14 View Post



Katie Hopkins reveals epilepsy made her suicidal - and says she identifies as a MAN
Quote:
Originally Posted by Livia View Post
Just because she is a giant cock, doesn't make her a man.
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Old 16-05-2013, 04:10 PM #20
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Where did Saddam Hussain keep his CDs?

Spoiler:

In a Raq (best said in person)
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Old 16-05-2013, 04:10 PM #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nathan View Post
What did the Iranian president say when he didn't like his food?

Ah my dinner bad.
i just laughed at this again
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Old 16-05-2013, 04:11 PM #22
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Quote:
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i just laughed at this again
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GiRTh View Post
You compare Jim Davidson to Nelson Mandela?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus. View Post
I know, how stupid? He's more like Gandhi.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isaiah 7:14 View Post



Katie Hopkins reveals epilepsy made her suicidal - and says she identifies as a MAN
Quote:
Originally Posted by Livia View Post
Just because she is a giant cock, doesn't make her a man.
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Old 16-05-2013, 04:14 PM #23
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What is brown and has holes in it?

Spoiler:

Swiss Sh!t
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Old 16-05-2013, 04:21 PM #24
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What do you call a Russian with a bottle of Lemonade?

Spoiler:

Whodyanick yourpopov
Last edited by Alf; 16-05-2013 at 04:22 PM.
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Old 16-05-2013, 04:24 PM #25
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What do you call a Middle Eastern drug dealer?

Spoiler:

Ava daba dis
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