[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Livia

I was bullied at school. It was hideous. It still upsets me to this day when I think of the treatment I got at the hands of a bunch of girls. I was singled out first, and totally alone by the time the real bullying started. They were really good at it. Sadly for them it seems it was the only thing they were ever good at.

I have never bullied anyone, quite the reverse, I find myself standing up for people who are picked on. I know everyone reacts differently to events but I honestly can't understand how someone who's gone through the nightmare of being bullied and know how that makes you feel, only to inflict that pain on someone else. If anything, I find it more offensive because they have prior knowledge of the outcome of their actions.

Sorry to hear that Livia

But I would have thought that to be the case as well but I guess it's the same with paedophiles as well isn't it, alot of people who were abused go on to become abusers, there doesn't seem to be any logic to that unless it's a case that they become so angry and bitter that they want to take that anger and bitterness out on other people and make them feel as bad as they did?

[Livia]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Sorry to hear that Livia

But I would have thought that to be the case as well but I guess it's the same with paedophiles as well isn't it, alot of people who were abused go on to become abusers, there doesn't seem to be any logic to that unless it's a case that they become so angry and bitter that they want to take that anger and bitterness out on other people and make them feel as bad as they did?

I like to think it made me a bit stronger and more empathetic. But like you say, it doesn't take everyone the same way. It's a struggle to understand though, and consequently a struggle to swallow it as an excuse.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Livia

I like to think it made me a bit stronger and more empathetic. But like you say, it doesn't take everyone the same way. It's a struggle to understand though, and consequently a struggle to swallow it as an excuse.

I wouldn't take it as an excuse at all, there's no excuse for treating another human being like that and people shouldn't be let off the hook because of it. Like you said yourself, it actually makes it worse when you know that person is very much aware of how bad they're making the other person feel

[ABigbother]

It's sickening seeing people suck up to Pauline.

[joeysteele]

Originally Posted by Livia

I was bullied at school. It was hideous. It still upsets me to this day when I think of the treatment I got at the hands of a bunch of girls. I was singled out first, and totally alone by the time the real bullying started. They were really good at it. Sadly for them it seems it was the only thing they were ever good at.

I have never bullied anyone, quite the reverse, I find myself standing up for people who are picked on. I know everyone reacts differently to events but I honestly can't understand how someone who's gone through the nightmare of being bullied and know how that makes you feel, only to inflict that pain on someone else. If anything, I find it more offensive because they have prior knowledge of the outcome of their actions.

Absolutely right. I also can never understand how someone who has been bullied can then inflict that on others, worse still when they are fast banging down the door of 50 too.
Really well said.

No way for me can Pauline hide behind that one to justify how she is acting now.

[InOne]

I kinda think Pauline probably wasn't bullied at all and it's another tactic to grind people down and justify her behaviour to others. She knows what she's doing and at what point to stab the knife in for maximum effect. It's quite unnerving that she's worse when she's alone with the people, it's not always in the group scenario although she's work with both to suit her agenda at the time.

[Jords]

Im not sure, it could have been used just to become relatable with Christopher in order to repair damage with him more effectively.

[fitz2k2]

enough with the word bullying geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez

[Kizzy]

I think that bullying comes in many guises, if you are mocked, patronised and generally talked down to constantly for me that is as bad as a physical assault.
It's sometimes so subtle that others may not be aware it's even occurring, or accepted as it is here with pauline.
She is popular and older than the others, her personal brand of wisdom only excuses those who agree with her sanctimonious waffling... Anyone on the periphery is walking a fine line trying to appease her to maintain their position in her group.
Anyone on the outside, or who attempts to challenge her authority is swiftly excluded, verbally attacked then shunned.

If she was bullied which I doubt then she hasn't learned that treating people badly hurts.

[chuff me dizzy]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

I think that bullying comes in many guises, if you are mocked, patronised and generally talked down to constantly for me that is as bad as a physical assault.
It's sometimes so subtle that others may not be aware it's even occurring, or accepted as it is here with pauline.
She is popular and older than the others, her personal brand of wisdom only excuses those who agree with her sanctimonious waffling... Anyone on the periphery is walking a fine line trying to appease her to maintain their position in her group.
Anyone on the outside, or who attempts to challenge her authority is swiftly excluded, verbally attacked then shunned.

If she was bullied which I doubt then she hasn't learned that treating people badly hurts.

So true, bullies are not always obvious, they can do it in a dirty, sly way ,they love to hurt people for their own selfish gain or entertainment

[lovebigbrotheruk]

Technically, you're all cyber bullying...just saying.

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by lovebigbrotheruk

Technically, you're all cyber bullying...just saying.

Not really the HMs choose to put themselves up for public scrutiny, they expect the public to use their money to save/evict each week, so they know what they are getting into, so technically it is open season by their own free will.

[rubymoo]

Originally Posted by lovebigbrotheruk

Technically, you're all cyber bullying...just saying.

I don't think so....to cyber bully, the person you're bullying would need access to it.

[Daffodil]

I have thought from the beginning that Pauline is like a school bully. I think her saying that she 'became a school girl again' to Christopher was initially a reference to the fact that she was a bullying schoolgirl. She quickly added .... 'and I was the one being bullied'. The latter part was a lie. I believe she WAS a bully at school.

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by Daffodil

I have thought from the beginning that Pauline is like a school bully. I think her saying that she 'became a school girl again' to Christopher was initially a reference to the fact that she was a bullying schoolgirl. She quickly added .... 'and I was the one being bullied'. The latter part was a lie. I believe she WAS a bully at school.

Probably!

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Daffodil

I have thought from the beginning that Pauline is like a school bully. I think her saying that she 'became a school girl again' to Christopher was initially a reference to the fact that she was a bullying schoolgirl. She quickly added .... 'and I was the one being bullied'. The latter part was a lie. I believe she WAS a bully at school.

..I think I tend to agree with that, Daffodil..I remember watching an American TV series once where the victims confronted their bullies from childhood and talked about the effect it had, had on their lives and how they felt and the bullies quite often seemed to be completely oblivious to the fact that they had in fact been a bully..that's the thing about bullies, they have no self-awareness whatsoever which is their 'justification' for their actions...and Pauline definitely doesn't appear to be self aware at all...

[Livia]

Originally Posted by Daffodil

I have thought from the beginning that Pauline is like a school bully. I think her saying that she 'became a school girl again' to Christopher was initially a reference to the fact that she was a bullying schoolgirl. She quickly added .... 'and I was the one being bullied'. The latter part was a lie. I believe she WAS a bully at school.

Didn't notice this post till Ammi quoted it. I agree entirely.

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Livia

Didn't notice this post till Ammi quoted it. I agree entirely.

It's often (sort of) both, to be honest. Many bullies are angry, damaged kids and they take out that anger on smaller, weaker kids. But the kids who AREN'T smaller and weaker tend to laugh at / ignore / be dismissive of those sorts of people. Not really bullying exactly - mainly just because they don't want anything to do with them... and so, the bullies often find themselves left out and mocked. Which makes them more bitter, more angry, and more determined to continue to take it out on the ones that they can victimize.

Basically they get hooked on the feeling of power they get from making someone else feel small, and then when others take that feeling away from them, they double their efforts to get that feeling back.

I think this is exactly the sort of bully that Pauline is. Being "challenged" by some of them made her instantly ten times worse.

Compare that to Conor, who was your classic "boulder-head" bully... just basically a big unintelligent and aggressive toddler-bloke who liked to throw his weight around and sulk in general. A massive three year old who wanted all of the toys and never grew up.

They're very different beasts... Conor was truly awful but I hope Pauline is out, fast, because I think she's potentially worse.

[Livia]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

It's often (sort of) both, to be honest. Many bullies are angry, damaged kids and they take out that anger on smaller, weaker kids. But the kids who AREN'T smaller and weaker tend to laugh at / ignore / be dismissive of those sorts of people. Not really bullying exactly - mainly just because they don't want anything to do with them... and so, the bullies often find themselves left out and mocked. Which makes them more bitter, more angry, and more determined to continue to take it out on the ones that they can victimize.

Basically they get hooked on the feeling of power they get from making someone else feel small, and then when others take that feeling away from them, they double their efforts to get that feeling back.

I think this is exactly the sort of bully that Pauline is. Being "challenged" by some of them made her instantly ten times worse.

Compare that to Conor, who was your classic "boulder-head" bully... just basically a big unintelligent and aggressive toddler-bloke who liked to throw his weight around and sulk in general. A massive three year old who wanted all of the toys and never grew up.

They're very different beasts... Conor was truly awful but I hope Pauline is out, fast, because I think she's potentially worse.

Yes, all true... The first paragraph - I remember it well.

Very eloquent and funny-but-true description of Conor LOL...

[wendywillow]

she sees the writing on the wall, boos, now getting nommed, would she be saying any of this if she were still in charge?

[flamingGalah!]

I don't believe her for a second, she is trying for the sympathy vote now she knows she is hated... And even if she was bullied that is no excuse at all for her vile behaviour So no still hate the bitch...

[Vicky.]

I think she realised how badly she may have come across and was trying damage control.

I will never understand the mentality behind 'I had something bad happen to me so now I do it to others'..though I know a lot of people use that as an excuse for various things.