About Us ThisisBigBrother.com

Vicky. · 03-12-2015, 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Livia

My sister in law says that Calpol helps, but you have to drink the whole bottle.

Sorry you're having a rough time... and the health visitor is obviously in the wrong job.

I actually did that as a child once...loved the stuff

Rather tempting to have a few mouthfuls of my morphine tbh, and be too off my tits to care. But I know thats not an option either

erinp5 · 03-12-2015, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vicky.

We do this too! And everytime we ask her stuff its 'NO!" no matter what the question and flailing herself around not giving an answer and just screaming.

I do think the daytime stuff is because she is so knackered from the nights...so if we could solve the nighttime issues the days would be better. But again, nothing we are doing is working and it seems to be getting worse, not better

If it helps your not alone ...they seem to hit three and have a personality transplant..I do find the options work...but only two options and then ignore her...hard to do but you need to let her know that this is not going to be tolerated....as you say, your other little one will start to become unsettled and may start to replicate her behaviour.

Vicky. · 03-12-2015, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cherie Christmas

How old is James? It's really hard to say what it could be, is she okay at nursery? If it is just at home it could be jealousy of the baby creeping in and as LT says at that age they suddenly realise they can get their own way by screaming , its so difficult juggling an infant and a toddler, I feel for you Vicky, i would be inclined to speak to someone about how to manage it, dropping her off for a break is fine but if she is feeling jealous it may not be the answer, maybe you need to alternate and drop James off so you two have some proper time together

He is 17 months now...never had an issue with jealousy before..except for obviously the first few weeks of bringing him home. I don't know who the hell to speak to, is the issue. The health visitor is meant to be the person to go to with stuff like this, but ours is a bitch...hpefully they switch her soon so I can try with the new one. Paeds are too in demand round here and I can't see one for 3 weeks...which we have an appointment in but I don't know if I can last that long with how it is now. GP just says shes not ill...and thats their job done...

Crimson Dynamo · 03-12-2015, 01:18 PM

There is only one thing for it:

smudgie · 03-12-2015, 01:23 PM

Ok, this is a long shot.
How long ago did you go into hospital Vcky.
My daughter was three when I went in, it affected her quite a bit.
She not only wet her bed every night I was away but also every day at nursery.
It stopped the minute I came home, however I could not leave the room without her for a good while as she thought I was leaving her again.
I found that once I had fully recovered and was back to my normal health she became more settled.
Is funny how a little child interprets life Vicky, she might feel you may go away again, especially as you have not made a full recovery as yet.
Other than that, can you change her bedroom, or change it around even, she may have bad a nightmare and be frightened.
It does seem weird that she does not settle even with you and Hubby staying with her.
Good luck with it all, nothing worse than your child being unsettled and not sleeping.

Cherie · 03-12-2015, 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vicky.

He is 17 months now...never had an issue with jealousy before..except for obviously the first few weeks of bringing him home. I don't know who the hell to speak to, is the issue. The health visitor is meant to be the person to go to with stuff like this, but ours is a bitch...hpefully they switch her soon so I can try with the new one. Paeds are too in demand round here and I can't see one for 3 weeks...which we have an appointment in but I don't know if I can last that long with how it is now. GP just says shes not ill...and thats their job done...

17 months

where does the time go

Kizzy · 03-12-2015, 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vicky.

Also don't think the speech delay helps as its frustrating her not being able to express herself fully. But again, theres a 16 week wait for speech therapy...we have waited 18 weeks now and still nothing...just keep getting told an appointment will come soon :S

She had a speech delay, does she have a speech and language therapist?
It could be she's frustrated about not being able to or finds it difficult to communicate.
3 weeks isn't bad really at least shes being referred on

hang on in there xx

It was a long time ago but I remember how soul destroying talking a 'lively' child out, I feel for you

Niamh. · 03-12-2015, 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vicky.

He is 17 months now...never had an issue with jealousy before..except for obviously the first few weeks of bringing him home. I don't know who the hell to speak to, is the issue. The health visitor is meant to be the person to go to with stuff like this, but ours is a bitch...hpefully they switch her soon so I can try with the new one. Paeds are too in demand round here and I can't see one for 3 weeks...which we have an appointment in but I don't know if I can last that long with how it is now. GP just says shes not ill...and thats their job done...

I hated my health visitor after I had Luke as well. I swear the bitch used to purposely get his name wrong too everytime she sent me out something in the post it had a different version of his name on it

AnnieK · 03-12-2015, 02:00 PM

Oh Vicky...its so hard isn't it? I went through something similar with my son at 3. 2 was a breeze but 3 was a nightmare. He had night terrors which seem like he's awake but he's wasn't still asleep - just screaming. If she came down last night and settled in her car seat, its not the best option but might be worth allowing that for a bit so she catches up on her sleep and then you can bedtime routine back. Do you do the same thing each night - ie bath, bed, story, quiet time etc? My little boy was such a creature of habit that for a while I thought he had a touch of autism as any little change to his routine would set him off. I was lucky that he was only a nightmare at home - out of the house he was an angel so everyone thought I was being neurotic.

Vicky. · 03-12-2015, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NanaChristmas

Ok, this is a long shot.
How long ago did you go into hospital Vcky.
My daughter was three when I went in, it affected her quite a bit.
She not only wet her bed every night I was away but also every day at nursery.
It stopped the minute I came home, however I could not leave the room without her for a good while as she thought I was leaving her again.
I found that once I had fully recovered and was back to my normal health she became more settled.
Is funny how a little child interprets life Vicky, she might feel you may go away again, especially as you have not made a full recovery as yet.
Other than that, can you change her bedroom, or change it around even, she may have bad a nightmare and be frightened.
It does seem weird that she does not settle even with you and Hubby staying with her.
Good luck with it all, nothing worse than your child being unsettled and not sleeping.

3-4 weeks ago now. About a week after I came out...it started. Thinking about it this could very well be why she is acting out..I never really thought of this before tbh. She was unsettled when I first went in, but it was sorted within a few nights...hmm. If it is this, theres actually nothing I can do about it until it sorts itself out though..which is a daunting thought

Just got back from nurse..apparently she has a slight ear infection but this wont be the reason for the nighttime behavior, as she was checked by a GP 3 days back and there was nothing wrong then...so the ear infection is new development.

Nurse says they have no training or anything about sleep issues (recommended speaking to health visitor...lol...so I had to explain all of that too) but as a mum...just keep to routine as much as possible..and do not give in when she goes hysterical. Which is easy enough said but when you have to watch your child literally scream until she pukes...its not as easy

Niamh. · 03-12-2015, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnnieK

Oh Vicky...its so hard isn't it? I went through something similar with my son at 3. 2 was a breeze but 3 was a nightmare. He had night terrors which seem like he's awake but he's wasn't still asleep - just screaming. If she came down last night and settled in her car seat, its not the best option but might be worth allowing that for a bit so she catches up on her sleep and then you can bedtime routine back. Do you do the same thing each night - ie bath, bed, story, quiet time etc? My little boy was such a creature of habit that for a while I thought he had a touch of autism as any little change to his routine would set him off. I was lucky that he was only a nightmare at home - out of the house he was an angel so everyone thought I was being neurotic.

Oh Luke went through a phase of sleep walking and night terrors as well when he was younger, maybe 7ish? It was creepy, he'd be looking at you and talking but seeing something completely different

Vicky. · 03-12-2015, 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cherie Christmas

17 months

where does the time go

Tell me about it..I felt so old celebrating Skyes 3rd birthday last week...I remember the day she was born like it was yesterday

Quote:

Originally Posted by Merry Kizzmas

She had a speech delay, does she have a speech and language therapist?
It could be she's frustrated about not being able to or finds it difficult to communicate.
3 weeks isn't bad really at least shes being referred on

hang on in there xx

It was a long time ago but I remember how soul destroying talking a 'lively' child out, I feel for you

She doesn't have a therapist yet, shes still on the waiting list. Should be any day now though as they said 16 weeks before appointment, and we are now 2 weeks over that. Expect a bit of a delay though coming up to xmas which is understandable

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChristmasNeeve

I hated my health visitor after I had Luke as well. I swear the bitch used to purposely get his name wrong too everytime she sent me out something in the post it had a different version of his name on it

I have yet to speak to anyone who has actually found a health visitor useful? I honestly do not understand the point of them

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnnieK

Oh Vicky...its so hard isn't it? I went through something similar with my son at 3. 2 was a breeze but 3 was a nightmare. He had night terrors which seem like he's awake but he's wasn't still asleep - just screaming. If she came down last night and settled in her car seat, its not the best option but might be worth allowing that for a bit so she catches up on her sleep and then you can bedtime routine back. Do you do the same thing each night - ie bath, bed, story, quiet time etc? My little boy was such a creature of habit that for a while I thought he had a touch of autism as any little change to his routine would set him off. I was lucky that he was only a nightmare at home - out of the house he was an angel so everyone thought I was being neurotic.

We have what I assume is night terrors also. Waking at 3am absolutely inconsolable...touching her makes her worse, talking does too...and shes not awake but seems it. Thats easier to deal with though as I do know what it is and after about 10 mins she falls back into a normal sleep

Yeah same routine each night. She used to LOVE bedtime, once she had had her supper and drink she would go find her blankie and get my hand to take her up to bed. Its just polar opposites now

We could have her sleeping down here yeah, but I don't want to get her into the habit, and I really don't think it will be good for her sitting for like 10 hours in her carseat each night...even for just a few nights in a row. realistically I may have no option but to do that though, as I just cannot see her so upset shes making herself ill when I know something as simple as this will calm her down :S

Cherie · 03-12-2015, 02:24 PM

Waiting 18 weeks for a speech therapy appt is pretty bad especially when you get there and after assessment of understanding..over,/under etc and identifying a variety of common objects you will probably be sent away with games to play to help improve vocabulary and doing thing like blowing bubbles and modelling language and sentences for her to copy, let me know if your experience is different Vicky

Vicky. · 03-12-2015, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cherie Christmas

Waiting 18 weeks for a speech therapy appt is pretty bad especially when you get there and after assessment of understanding..over,/under etc and identifying a variety of common objects you will probably be sent away with games to play to help improve vocabulary and doing thing like blowing bubbles and modelling language and sentences for her to copy, let me know if your experience is different Vicky

I really hope this is not all it is...I dont know what to expect from them but if this is it I will be really pissed off as we already do all of this stuff with her anyway..

Niamh. · 03-12-2015, 02:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vicky.

Tell me about it..I felt so old celebrating Skyes 3rd birthday last week...I remember the day she was born like it was yesterday

She doesn't have a therapist yet, shes still on the waiting list. Should be any day now though as they said 16 weeks before appointment, and we are now 2 weeks over that. Expect a bit of a delay though coming up to xmas which is understandable

I have yet to speak to anyone who has actually found a health visitor useful? I honestly do not understand the point of them

We have what I assume is night terrors also. Waking at 3am absolutely inconsolable...touching her makes her worse, talking does too...and shes not awake but seems it. Thats easier to deal with though as I do know what it is and after about 10 mins she falls back into a normal sleep

Yeah same routine each night. She used to LOVE bedtime, once she had had her supper and drink she would go find her blankie and get my hand to take her up to bed. Its just polar opposites now

We could have her sleeping down here yeah, but I don't want to get her into the habit, and I really don't think it will be good for her sitting for like 10 hours in her carseat each night...even for just a few nights in a row. realistically I may have no option but to do that though, as I just cannot see her so upset shes making herself ill when I know something as simple as this will calm her down :S

Sounds like Smudgie could be onto something you know Vicky, if she loved her bedtime routine before and her bedtime routine mostly involved you and then you went away?

Vicky. · 03-12-2015, 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChristmasNeeve

Sounds like Smudgie could be onto something you know Vicky, if she loved her bedtime routine before and her bedtime routine mostly involved you and then you went away?

Yeah I have never thought of that before..it makes a lot of sense. Mind her bedtime was either of us, probably more Gavin than me tbh, but the whole disrupting her life by me being away for a fortnight..i would never have thought that a child would be so..bothered (wrong word but you know what I mean) by that. And that it would still be affecting her now

If it is this, which seems likely now..how one earth do I sort it out?! Been back coming up a month now and tried everything to settle her back to how she was and nothing has worked

Vicky. · 03-12-2015, 02:33 PM

I swear to god I could kill the incompetent surgeon who managed to do every possible wrong thing to me and keep me in for that long. have to ****ing go back too for him to break me some more.

Niamh. · 03-12-2015, 02:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vicky.

Yeah I have never thought of that before..it makes a lot of sense. Mind her bedtime was either of us, probably more Gavin than me tbh, but the whole disrupting her life by me being away for a fortnight..i would never have thought that a child would be so..bothered (wrong word but you know what I mean) by that. And that it would still be affecting her now

If it is this, which seems likely now..how one earth do I sort it out?! Been back coming up a month now and tried everything to settle her back to how she was and nothing has worked

I have no idea, I suppose you can't even reassure her that you're not going away anymore because you probably will have to won't you?

Vicky. · 03-12-2015, 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChristmasNeeve

I have no idea, I suppose you can't even reassure her that you're not going away anymore because you probably will have to won't you?

I have to go back in january, though they assure me it will be an overnight stay at most.

But I have heard that all before...

I have no faith in them at all

Kazanne · 03-12-2015, 02:41 PM

Aw Vicky I do feel for you,I am no expert and can only offer what I have experienced with mine,one of my little boys is always wanting attention and will try anything to get it, he is clingy and we have noticed that certain drinks can trigger his unruly behaviour,Does Skye have sweets ? we noticed Judes behaviour always changed after he ate Skittles (which he loved) so obviously they are banned as are certain drinks, as for his boisterousness I could pull my hair out sometimes the way he annoys his brother and sister,I just usually make him take time out,but he's at it again after a while,I think if it's making you feel really down ,have a world with a child expert I am sure they would help, as for the so called social worker she needs to get a job she can actually do,stupid person is supposed to be there to help you, I don't know if it's of any help,but I did hear that you can get medication from a doctor to help them sleep if they are really bad. I hope she gets better for you Vicky,it does make you feel like ****,most of us have been there in some way or another. Hugs x

Cherie · 03-12-2015, 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vicky.

Yeah I have never thought of that before..it makes a lot of sense. Mind her bedtime was either of us, probably more Gavin than me tbh, but the whole disrupting her life by me being away for a fortnight..i would never have thought that a child would be so..bothered (wrong word but you know what I mean) by that. And that it would still be affecting her now

If it is this, which seems likely now..how one earth do I sort it out?! Been back coming up a month now and tried everything to settle her back to how she was and nothing has worked

It does sound very likely well done Smudgie!

Crimson Dynamo · 03-12-2015, 03:08 PM

Also Vicky

It might not do any harm to tidy up that bloody mess that thankfully the health visitor highlighted. Take the bloody hoover out of retirement, get all the cans and wine bottles herded up and get rid of all the takeaway detritus.

Its a wonder you found the child amid all that chaos