[user104658]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

I'm surprised you think they're nonsense as you actually sound like you've written one haha!
Where does co-sleeping end, and how does it begin? One whingy night wouldn't make me think this child and any subsequent children never want to sleep alone.

Well for our first as I said earlier, we had a horrible few months to begin with after issues at the hospital. She was fine but they kept her in with a suspected infection, then accidentally gave her a massive overdose of antibiotics, so her first week of life was a never ending barrage of being poked and prodded with needles, having blood taken from little "cuts" they made in her feet, etc... And they had a habit of turning up to do this while she was asleep. She got very distressed at even being put down for months afterwards, almost certainly due to mild trauma, and we stumbled on co-sleeping because we simply couldn't continue as we were (sleeping in shifts, one always with her downstairs).

Second daughter we basically just did it from the start, she was exclusively breastfed and fed 4 or 5 times a night, and for obvious reasons my partner didn't want to be up and down all night!

As for when it ends... Like I said it could technically be any time now. My 4 year old can sleep alone all night, 18m old sometimes needs convinced to go back to sleep at about 5am but otherwise is alone for a big chunk of the night. If we had 3 rooms it would all be down to choice. As it is, if the 18m old woke the 4 year old at 5am, the 4 year old would want to get up to "play" then be exhausted and miserable by 2pm! Would be a disaster really, and we're all happy as we are for now so there's no reason to mess with what works. I have no worries because as I say, they're both confident / able enough to sleep alone. As it stands I'm thinking / hoping they'll enjoy sharing a room when the littlest is 3+... The eldest likes the idea in theory already. Not sure she'll be so impressed when she's 6 stuck with her 3 year old little sister though .

That said, I apparently used to snore like a warthog in my partners ear at night so she says she doesnt even want me back! In jest. Maybe. Haha.

[user104658]

Oh as for books... I do have a psychology degree and have done a lot of child developmental psychology (and we ran a parenting forum for 4 years... Not something I recommend anyone does. Ever. It's a minefield!). I think there are plenty of good booked on understanding child psychology and how they're different to / the same as adults but that's all in general and every child is genuinely different. My two are complete polar opposites. The youngest is so laid back she's usually literally horizontal, rolling about the floor in food like a piggy... The eldest is very particular and a neat freak!

The "patenting books" that are utter trash are the one-size-fits-all rags like Supernanny (and worse) that treat kids like a problem to be solved, or a robot with an instruction manual. It's just money making trash. It's like me saying my kids co-sleep so all kids should... When I know many other kids who like / need their space at night and always have. A friend of ours had a baby recently and couldn't get him to sleep, ended up giving up in frustration and leaving the room and he was out like a light. Turns out he just won't sleep UNLESS he's alone. There's definitely not one answer, except that the answer is to know / listen to each child and go with what's best for them.

[Kizzy]

Ah well I can well understand where the fear came from! poor lass I'm so glad she's happy and settled now
They're funny little things arn't they? my lad was the same, after storytime I was 'dismissed' too

[sassysocks]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

That's sick 13? seriously?... I'm sorry but that to me is so far removed from normal adolescent behaviour!
Even Oedipus would have thought that weird
Nursing mothers yes, even though many think its dangerous in case you fall asleep and roll on them.
Very occasionally if very upset/scared but other than that no.

There could be several reasons why he likes sleeping in his mother's bed, maybe the bed is simply more comfortable or her room is warmer, or just a chance to be close to her if she is a busy mum, boys tend to like cuddles with their mum more than girls, when they are young.

To label it as sick and abnormal is far more of an issue as far as I am concerned, just creating a problem where there isn't one and giving kids complexes and making mothers fearful of being close to their sons for fear of it being labelled as something else in this horrible, paranoid modern world of ours.