[user104658]

Originally Posted by Ammi

...hmmm, I'm not sure whether there would have definitely been an 'incident' involved, obviously it's a possibility but it's also perfectly 'normal' for children to have fears of the dark/night time etc...'imaginary monsters'...?...but as they sleep in their beds, over time they start to realise that they're safe and those 'monsters' in their heads gradually disappear...if they never have had to sleep alone, then they haven't experienced that security of knowing they're safe other than the feeling that it's their parent/mum's presence that is keeping them safe..?..and as they get older and into adolescence, which is a very confusing time anyway, those fears could just increase so it's hard to dispel the 'monster', and that I think could well lead to real anxiety issues in their lives....

It's easy to make that assumption but the opposite is usually the case - if a child is really, truly scared of monsters at night and his parents continue to put him back into that situation while he's anxious, it becomes a bigger and more serious problem. "Face your fear" doesn't really apply to young children, you have to be very careful as a minor fear can escalate into an ongoing phobia at these developmental stages. Phobias are linked to anxiety and adrenaline responses, in other words, they form when you are afraid, especially when that fear isn't quickly soothed. A serious fear of the dark / fear of being alone is very unlikely to arise from "never having to deal with it", it arises from being told to go back to bed to deal with it... being forced to "learn how to handle it alone".

Children who aren't denied emotional dependancy at a young age generally grow up to become more independent and emotionally secure than those who are "tiger parented" into stoicism. It's counter-intuitive, but it's just a fact of developmental psychology.

Forcing it encourages children to learn how to shut down or swallow emotions and fears - not how to understand them and deal with them rationally.