[user104658]

Originally Posted by Ammi

..it's surprising that a 13yr old would want to sleep in a parent's bed...I think it was around 10/11 yrs old when bathroom doors started to get locked and the boys began to be self-conscious of their bodies etc...

Well exactly, it's not "normal" and its not just because he's used to it and won't stop, things change as children approach adolescence and it would be normal for them to naturally start to want privacy.

The fact that he hasn't, and especially the wetting + aggression, suggests there's a much deeper issue with this boy than the simple fact that he has been bedsharing. It sounds like he has a serious fear of sleeping alone - and a fear like that isn't borne from "never having slept alone", its much more likely that he HAS slept alone and whilst doing so something has happened that's been traumatic and triggered this fear.

Like any fear really. Most people who are scared of flying for example, it's not because they've never flown. It's because one of the first times they did fly, something happened that terrified them (bad turbulence, scary crosswinds on landing etc).

Like I said, if a young child is scared alone and you just force them to sleep alone anyway, that's not going to solve anything, it's going to make it into a bigger and longer lasting issue.