[Jessica.]

Originally Posted by Livia

If he cheats for you he'll cheat on you.

This is my stance on it.

[Tom4784]

I'm no one's bit on the side.

If they are separated then maybe if they are in the right headspace about it all but I refuse to be anyone's rebound.

[bots]

Relationships are complicated enough without adding in any extra excitement.

[Amy Jade]

Jack is pretty much saying what I think.

Would I feel bad for the guys wife? yeah probably but I still wouldnt blame myself. His relationship to maintain not mine.

[Jamie89]

I wouldn't personally but I agree with the pov that the majority of blame should go to the person who's married. It think regardless of morality, because even if both were equally wrong morally (which personally I don't think they would be, but lets just say for arguments sake they are) there's still the issue of commitment... the single person isn't breaking a commitment they've made, the married person is. And yes they're both willfully hurting someone, but it's the married person who is supposed to care about them and have a responsibility towards them.

[Lostie!]

Originally Posted by Jamie89

I wouldn't personally but I agree with the pov that the majority of blame should go to the person who's married. It think regardless of morality, because even if both were equally wrong morally (which personally I don't think they would be, but lets just say for arguments sake they are) there's still the issue of commitment... the single person isn't breaking a commitment they've made, the married person is. And yes they're both willfully hurting someone, but it's the married person who is supposed to care about them and have a responsibility towards them.

I don't really see how there's a difference in how they've behaved morally. Sure, one has broken a commitment (I don't dispute that), but the other has willingly partaken in that and so can't really have much of a problem with the idea of someone doing that (until it happens to them, I presume) so I just can't personally place them on any higher of a moral footing.

You can't cheat all by yourself. There has to be someone else on the other end and that's why I think that other person deserves to be held accountable just as much (providing they knew, of course).

[Jamie89]

Originally Posted by Lostie!

I don't really see how there's a difference in how they've behaved morally. Sure, one has broken a commitment (I don't dispute that), but the other has willingly partaken in that and so can't really have much of a problem with the idea of someone doing that (until it happens to them, I presume) so I just can't personally place them on any higher of a moral footing.

You can't cheat all by yourself. There has to be someone else on the other end and that's why I think that other person deserves to be held accountable just as much (providing they knew, of course).

I just think that even though both parties are accountable for what they're doing, it's a bigger leap to cheat on someone you love/someone you've made a commitment with, than it is to take part in breaking up someone's relationship and hurt someone you don't know. Neither of those things are 'right' but I have a hard time seeing them as equal. I was in a serious relationship and got cheated on and it was the most painful thing I've ever been through but I never really gave a second thought to the other guy... I dunno it's hard to put a ratio on how responsible someone is or what someone's morality is really, so thinking about it more I don't know where I stand on it exactly... but when it happened to me I blamed my ex entirely because the way I saw it was, even if they both wanted to sleep with each other, my ex was the one who should have tried harder not to, because he's the one who had put himself in a situation with me where he had that responsibility. And if you're going to take on a responsibility like committing yourself to another person, I don't think you can be judged in the same way as someone who hasn't, because the two people involved are in different situations. I don't know if I'm explaining it well. But he had extra choices basically. For example he could have broken up with me first but he decided not to. The 'other guy' didn't have that option. I just think it's different tbh.

[Jake.]

i don't think "who gets blamed" is the issue on this one

[Dollface]

If him and his wife had kids together... definitely not. But if I happened to fall for a married man, I'd probably go there yeah but i'd feel terrible and make him tell his wife and break it off - if he refused to leave her, i'd leave him.

[Northern Monkey]

Not a relationship but i've banged a few married women.

[Black Dagger]

I've gone 5 years without dick. I'm past caring at this point, I'll bang what I can bang!!

[the truth]

the grey area is when they say theyre seprated and awaiting the divorce papers...how do you double check that?

[Mokka]

Originally Posted by the truth

the grey area is when they say theyre seprated and awaiting the divorce papers...how do you double check that?

Well..presumably then if they are separated...they are not living together

But yeah...there is a bit of a grey area in there... and also when someone flat out lies to you and says they are single unmarried or not dating anyone else. Those things are beyond your control sometimes when you are putting your trust in another person.

[the truth]

Originally Posted by Mokka

Well..presumably then if they are separated...they are not living together

But yeah...there is a bit of a grey area in there... and also when someone flat out lies to you and says they are single unmarried or not dating anyone else. Those things are beyond your control sometimes when you are putting your trust in another person.

moronic shows like loose women or mathew wright in the morning always fails to question the subtle complexities involved for their dumbed down audience and their dummy cards telling them all when to clap

[Mokka]

Originally Posted by the truth

moronic shows like loose women or mathew wright in the morning always fails to question the subtle complexities involved for their dumbed down audience and their dummy cards telling them all when to clap

Not sure what this has to do with my post...and I never watch daytime telly anyways so I have no idea what they say.

[the truth]

Originally Posted by Mokka

Not sure what this has to do with my post...and I never watch daytime telly anyways so I have no idea what they say.

i was referring to our innane banal stupid so called culture where so called tv experts spout their one dimensional drivel to millions and people actually listen
there is little advice out there on how to handle the subtle complexities of relationships especially in regards recently seperated couples

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by the truth

the grey area is when they say theyre seprated and awaiting the divorce papers...how do you double check that?

If they're actually separated then I would think that's ok......as long as they're both aware that they're separated

[Jason.]

[the truth]

Originally Posted by Jason.

what a chippy broad

[armand.kay]

I wouldn't date them or get my emotions involved coz it will all just end up being messy but I wouldn't lose any sleep if I slept with someone who is married.

[Crimson Dynamo]

Originally Posted by armand.kay

I wouldn't date them or get my emotions involved coz it will all just end up being messy but I wouldn't lose any sleep if I slept with someone who is married.

maybe your opinion would change if you were married?

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by armand.kay

I wouldn't date them or get my emotions involved coz it will all just end up being messy but I wouldn't lose any sleep if I slept with someone who is married.

..that's the thing, it would be that simple for the other person because they haven't got the commitment and they wouldn't be deceiving but for the wife/husband...it would be so much more and a betrayal of everything they believed in../even a world falling apart type thing...I just think that not everyone could feel as though it's possible to be part of something who could emotionally hurt another human being in that way..I know I couldn't, regardless of whether I knew that person or not...

[smudgie]

What goes around comes around..and Karma is a bitch.
Just be prepared for the fact that you wouldn't be able to trust a cheater.
Different if there is no actual commitment of course. Then anything goes.

[Josy]

Pointless really isn't it, it's not gonna go anywhere and your pretty much the '****boy/girl' and nothing more.

[thesheriff443]

both married men and women cheat, not all affairs end, some go on to be long term relationships that include marriage and children.
Most affairs are just people taking what's on offer

Some people stay married out of duty not out of love,