[Denver]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

You say that like hitting is the only possible way to discipline a child, it isn't.

Well it didn't have no problems with me tbh and I was lucky that my mum grew up in a traditional Caribbean home so knew the difference

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by Adam.

Well it didn't have no problems with me tbh and I was lucky that my mum grew up in a traditional Caribbean home so knew the difference

So parents that grow up in other cultures teach their kids different things?
Who knew... So culturally if you grow up in a traditional Caribbean home in the UK smacking is fine or no?

[Denver]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

So parents that grow up in other cultures teach their kids different things?
Who knew... So culturally if you grow up in a traditional Caribbean home in the UK smacking is fine or no?

I think you are failing to take in what I said??

My mum was beaten black and blue for things such as smoking or having a bf or stuff like that

So threw her experiences she knew what real punishment was and that allowed her to give her kids a total different punishment to which she received

[Ashley.]

Hitting a child is the worst form of discipline. Abuse is a learned behaviour, you're merely teaching them that, actually, violence is alright - as long as you're only doing it to get what you want.

Because that's all hitting a child is - it's to make them do exactly what you want because you can't be bloody bothered to teach them any other way.

[Alf]

I think we need to realise that there's a big difference between getting a smacked arse for being naughty and beating up children to a pulp.

[chuff me dizzy]

Originally Posted by Alf

I think we need to realise that there's a big difference between getting a smacked arse for being naughty and beating up children to a pulp.

Exactly, a lot of difference

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by chuff me dizzy

Exactly, a lot of difference

So when you smack a child, is the aim to hurt them or not?

[chuff me dizzy]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

So when you smack a child, is the aim to hurt them or not?

Of course it not to hurt them, it to stop them doing what they are doing and showing them you mean it

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by chuff me dizzy

Of course it not to hurt them, it to stop them doing what they are doing and showing them you mean it

So if the slaps don't hurt, how does it teach them anything?

[Alf]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

So when you smack a child, is the aim to hurt them or not?

It's to teach them it's wrong, and that when you do wrong there are consequences.

A smacked arse will make a child cry, but it doesn't physically hurt them that much (they'll hurt themselves much more playing with their friends and laugh about it) The reason they cry is because they realise they've done wrong and let down the people who love and care for them, and that makes them think twice about doing it again.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Alf

It's to teach them it's wrong, and that when you do wrong there are consequences.

A smacked arse will make a child cry, but it doesn't physically hurt them that much (they'll hurt themselves much more playing with their friends and laugh about it) The reason they cry is because they realise they've done wrong and let down the people who love and care for them, and that makes them think twice about doing it again.

Oh come off it

[chuff me dizzy]

Originally Posted by Alf

It's to teach them it's wrong, and that when you do wrong there are consequences.

A smacked arse will make a child cry, but it doesn't physically hurt them that much (they'll hurt themselves much more playing with their friends and laugh about it) The reason they cry is because they realise they've done wrong and let down the people who love and care for them, and that makes them think twice about doing it again.

Agree

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Alf

A smacked arse will make a child cry, but it doesn't physically hurt them that much (they'll hurt themselves much more playing with their friends and laugh about it) The reason they cry is because they realise they've done wrong and let down the people who love and care for them, and that makes them think twice about doing it again.

If that was the case then why wouldn't talking to them have exactly the same effect . Or is it just quicker / easier to throw a hand at them than have a serious chat? Unless we're talking about kids who aren't even old enough to talk? In which case there's really no excuse AT ALL for using violence.

[Nicky91]

am i dumb in saying that if you discipline your child too much by beating them up, it might result in the child going through a rebellic phase


you might push them only further away from you



i think the proper discipline is to be a fun parent, but also just being honest where you put your limits, rather than only beating them up

[Beso]

Originally Posted by Nicky91

am i dumb in saying that if you discipline your child too much by beating them up, it might result in the child going through a rebellic phase


you might push them only further away from you



i think the proper discipline is to be a fun parent, but also just being honest where you put your limits, rather than only beating them up

No, imo and my experience you are spot on...

[user104658]

My dad was hit as a kid and never hit me or my sister. My wife was hit as a kid and has never hit either of ours...

Just because it's a cultural or family "tradition" doesnt mean that it can't be changed.

[Crimson Dynamo]

What difference do you think banning the belt at schools has made?


for the good, if so how?

[AnnieK]

I have never smacked my son - I was smacked as a kid on a rare occasion but mainly my mum would just give us "the lips" basically her lips would go white when she was about the explode and that was more than ample warning to shut up pretty sharpish.

I was at primary school when the ban on teachers hitting came in - the best teacher in the school actually retired - that was how she got results on the fear of getting the shakey makey off her - she also used to give one of the boys the slipper EVERY morning, just as a reminder what would happen if he misbehaved (he was very naughty and actually is now in prison for life so discipline did him no good).

In short, no you don't have to smack your kids to discipline them - ever. In my house wifi off, early night and football ban does the trick - all you have to do is enforce it and not back down!

[AnnieK]

As I said in another thread being a parent doesn't mean you are suddenly gifted with magical powers and the becoming the absolute oracle on parenting overnight. Everyone in this thread and has been a child who had parents and so are as qualified to talk about their own opinions and experiences on how they were disciplined and how they will discipline . I was smacked, did me no harm my parents were fantastic, I don't smack my son, I am a good mum....two very different experiences in one family turned out ok, my son is practically an angel compared to a lot of kids his age (who may or may not receive a crack for bad behaviour)

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

As I said in another thread being a parent doesn't mean you are suddenly gifted with magical powers and the becoming the absolute oracle on parenting overnight. Everyone in this thread and has been a child who had parents and so are as qualified to talk about their own opinions and experiences on how they were disciplined and how they will discipline . I was smacked, did me no harm my parents were fantastic, I don't smack my son, I am a good mum....two very different experiences in one family turned out ok, my son is practically an angel compared to a lot of kids his age (who may or may not receive a crack for bad behaviour)

No he isn't you only think that apparently

[AnnieK]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

No he isn't you only think that apparently

Hi teachers, his friends parents, my friends, the neighbours etc are all lying to me??? Oh my god, I'll give him the hiding of his life tonight?

Funny thing is - I said once that my mum gave me a good hiding when I was little and asked him (jokingly) if he wanted one.......he said yes. Had no idea what it was but heard the good thing and thought it was a treat.....

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

Hi teachers, his friends parents, my friends, the neighbours etc are all lying to me??? Oh my god, I'll give him the hiding of his life tonight?

Funny thing is - I said once that my mum gave me a good hiding when I was little and asked him (jokingly) if he wanted one.......he said yes. Had no idea what it was but heard the good thing and thought it was a treat.....

Same with mine, people were always commenting on how well behaved they were when they were young, course my daughter is 18 now so an adult really, still doesn't even drink

[chuff me dizzy]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

Hi teachers, his friends parents, my friends, the neighbours etc are all lying to me??? Oh my god, I'll give him the hiding of his life tonight?

Funny thing is - I said once that my mum gave me a good hiding when I was little and asked him (jokingly) if he wanted one.......he said yes. Had no idea what it was but heard the good thing and thought it was a treat.....

Sounds like you and Niamh have done a good job raising your children ,but not everyone has, and discipline must be taught at home ,as it cannot nowadays be taught in schools, and i have 4 children and none of them drink

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by chuff me dizzy

Sounds like you and Niamh have done a good job raising your children ,but not everyone has, and discipline must be taught at home ,as it cannot nowadays be taught in schools, and i have 4 children and none of them drink

I don't think any of us are disagreeing there, it's just the methods of discipline really

[Ashley.]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

As I said in another thread being a parent doesn't mean you are suddenly gifted with magical powers and the becoming the absolute oracle on parenting overnight. Everyone in this thread and has been a child who had parents and so are as qualified to talk about their own opinions and experiences on how they were disciplined and how they will discipline . I was smacked, did me no harm my parents were fantastic, I don't smack my son, I am a good mum....two very different experiences in one family turned out ok, my son is practically an angel compared to a lot of kids his age (who may or may not receive a crack for bad behaviour)

I was going to say a few pages back... Nobody really knows how to raise a child, whether you're a parent or not. You don't receive a guide, there is no course or degree that could prepare you for such a responsibility, and there aren't a long list of rules to go by either. I can't speak from experience because I can't have children, but I can speak on behalf of the people I have met and I think I can say that most parents are just doing their best. And that's usually enough.

And that being said, I do believe that people who hit their children could do much better.