[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

I expect the lady (an ex and the child was 3 months?) was on opiates/painkillers

Kate McCann was a victim tho x

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Kate McCann was a victim tho x

[Marsh.]

Yes, them single mothers and their drug addictions.

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Marsh.

Yes, them single mothers and their drug addictions.

Especially common amongst those who drive and work in medical centres, I hear.

(Im not saying that doesn't happen before someone starts banging on about pill pinchers; I'm just pointing out how ludicrous it is to now start painting this woman as a junkie, as well as a child abuser / murderer)

[Crimson Dynamo]

i expect she did not forget her mobile phone...

[user104658]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

i expect she did not forget her mobile phone...

If you have anything substantial to add to the thread then do so LT, it's not really an appropriate one for trolling / sarcasm.

[Beso]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

i expect she did not forget her mobile phone...

Not all day, thats for sure.

[Vicky.]

And yes, as a parent I have forgotten about my child on occasion, but luckily nothing came of it..though it was only for a very short period of time, like my son was off school ill and was asleep and I was geting ready to go to the shop, totally forgetting that he was in bed upstairs as he should have been at school, I remembered before I went out mind but I did temporarily forget while I was getting ready (and yes LT, I am on opiates..not sure why thats relevant). I don't think this mean I should not be a parent though.

[Ammi]

..I think for me it’s not a thing of...HOW COULD THAT HAPPEN/bad mother, type thing...but more HOW COULD THAT HAPPEN to a good mother..is what I’m going to assume she is...I mean, how could that happen not just to her but to a rising number of parents as is being said in the article...?...it’s looking at the stress being placed on lives in the modern day, which should never ever contribute in such proportions felt to this happening to a child...

...there are links in our thought processes as TS has said...and with those links, subconscious risk assessments that we are not aware of are made as well that would prevent from a parent not realising for the whole day that their child was still in a car in extreme heat temperatures...as Annie said, she was left outside of the shop in a prom by her mum because back in the day, outside of a shop was the ‘norm’ for a pram with a baby in it..so a safe place as it were...it was also more the norm I would say to have someone notice a mother go past with two children but return with only one and approach that person and say...oh what did you do with the other one.....anyways, she may have made her whole way home without realising because she had left our Annie in a safe place so far as her head connections were concerned...so it can take a longer time to come to that realisation...and as Vicky said, she’s forgotten about a child on occasion, probably a juggling balls type occassii with stress linked to it but I don’t think it was so much ‘lucky’ no harm came, I think again, it was more of a subconscious risk assessment thought and link, type thing in knowing her children were in a safe place...I might be wrong but...anyways, many parents I have known, have forgotten to collect their child from school, it’s completely escaped their mind on that particular day and mostly through employment related things and stresses etc...and it’s sad to see but it’s still that ‘risk assessment’ sub conscious link in knowing their child is in a safe place...the school staff are not going to push them out and tell them to walk home across all of the busy roads etc and with all potential dangers...


...those type of things are more the ‘norm’ type of things but an increasing number of parents leaving their baby in a car for such a length of time in extreme heat which should alert every instinct of risk assessment in their very being are most definately not the norm I would say...but also not intentional either...so it’s looking at the stresses of modern parents, how this could ever happen to such an extreme...it’s looking at help obviously with this mother right now and with the whole family because this has happened, sadly...but it’s also looking at any possible prevent for the future...any signs of extreme stress in the juggling of parental and work lives...because this should never, ever have happened with all of the sub conscious risk assesments...I mean, how can this have happened to anyone, any mother, any child...I don’t know if there is an answer but can anything be done and looked at that would help to prevent these rising numbers...either within the workplace, with social care, with friends or family etc...just in anyway whatsoever...do babies have to die in such awful ways before it’s realised that life balances are not working for everyone and sometimes they’re tipping very dangerously...and if that is ever noticed with one person, it shouldn’t be ignored by anyone...


...poor child, poor mother, poor family.....

[user104658]

I think I've said before on here, I've done it the other way before, when our youngest started nursery. She's always been quiet in the car, just sits peacefully so you don't really notice her... We had dropped the kids off at school / nursery then Awent for some shopping then driven home, and I got out the car then opened the back door to get the youngest out and had a moment of "Oh my god we've left her at the supermarket!!". Like a genuine horrible shock before remembering that she had started nursery and was there safe and sound.

I can understand how it happens the other way round. All it takes is a brief lapse of concentration in an exhausted parent, and they'll be sat at their desk at work fully believing that their child is safely in childcare. (As for people saying that "normal parents" call every half hour to check up on their kids in childcare... Err... No? That's not really normal? They have contact details for you if something is wrong.)

Again though it does need to be looked at to see if there's anything suspicious but with the assumption being that there won't be. Frankly (and morbidly) it ISN'T a particularly foolproof or devious murder plot, not in a car park that's actively being used, as again this actually happens a lot more than is reported - usually someone notices and raises the alarm and things end well.

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

(As for people saying that "normal parents" call every half hour to check up on their kids in childcare... Err... No? That's not really normal? They have contact details for you if something is wrong.)

Yeas thats ****ing ridiculous IMO. I have never rang to see if my kids were OK at nursery...they ring you if theres any problems. Mind, my nursery also ring if the child is off and you haven't contacted them to let them know why...which is a good idea too.

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

Yeas thats ****ing ridiculous IMO. I have never rang to see if my kids were OK at nursery...they ring you if theres any problems. Mind, my nursery also ring if the child is off and you haven't contacted them to let them know why...which is a good idea too.

I dont think anyone suggested parents were ringing every half hour, the baby was 3 months old so realistically how long could he have being going to the nursery, I remember when I put my eldest in nursery at 9 months ringing in my lunchbreak to check as it would have been a new experience for him, obviously if your childs first experience of nursery is at age 3 this is a different issue, an easy way to prevent incidents like this is to put a policy in place that if a baby is expected at nursery and they dont turn up with no notification, the staff are obliged to call the parents.

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by Cherie

I dont think anyone suggested parents were ringing every half hour, the baby was 3 months old so realistically how long could he have being going to the nursery, I remember when I put my eldest in nursery at 9 months ringing in my lunchbreak to check as it would have been a new experience for him, obviously if your childs first experience of nursery is at age 3 this is a different issue, an easy way to prevent incidents like this is to put a policy in place that if a baby is expected at nursery and they dont turn up with no notification, the staff are obliged to call the parents.

yup, I actually assumed all nurserys would be like mine.

[Crimson Dynamo]

Originally Posted by Cherie

I dont think anyone suggested parents were ringing every half hour, the baby was 3 months old so realistically how long could he have being going to the nursery, I remember when I put my eldest in nursery at 9 months ringing in my lunchbreak to check as it would have been a new experience for him, obviously if your childs first experience of nursery is at age 3 this is a different issue, an easy way to prevent incidents like this is to put a policy in place that if a baby is expected at nursery and they dont turn up with no notification, the staff are obliged to call the parents.

this is what happens at my primary

[kirklancaster]

I'm sorry, but on this - as with most subjects on here - I will adhere to my intuition, logic and personal experience.

T.S - I respect your qualification, but to be honest, as far as I am concerned,'facts' from the fields of psychology and cognitive neuroscience are not facts at all but mere 'theory'.

In my opinion, and as far as psychologists and psychiatrists are concerned, a great number of them need to heed the advice of Jesus in Luke 4.23; 'Physician, heal thyself' because they are among the loopiest people in existence.

If not for the 'expert' input of some of them at parole board hearings certifying the would-be parolees as 'cured', many twisted evil killers would NOT have been released early from their long prison sentences to kill again.

I know that every human is 'different' mentally and psychologically and that we all react to 'stress' differently, but all over the planet throughout history, there have been and are mothers who struggle to fend off debt whilst raising multiple kids and though some of them may, at times, have had temporary lapses of memory, they did not forget all about a 3 months old baby for almost an entire day.

And THAT is my point; that this was a 3 months old baby.

Which parent - no matter how stressed or distracted they might be, could spend a full day without their virtual new-born baby entering their thoughts?

Seriously?

And would not thinking about that baby have 'jogged' her memory? - caused doubts to surface about whether she HAD dropped off the baby or not?

I have had to turn the car around several times when we had set off for some night out because my wife had suddenly raised doubts about whether she had turned off the iron/her straighteners/locked the door or not - never mind leaving a three months old baby in the back of a searing hot parked car.

LT actually makes a succinct but highly valid point when he said: 'I bet she didn't forget her mobile phone' and I'm sorry but SOMETHING about this whole tragic incident does not 'sit right' with me.

If the story is genuine, then Livia is correct and this 'mother' needs to think very carefully about having any more babies, and if it is not, then I hope the truth is eventually ascertained and this 'mother' gets her just dessert.

[AnnieK]

I never rang nursery either apart from the first couple of days when he was unsettled going in. In fact they actively discouraged it as a member of staff had to leave the room to answer the phone.

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

I never rang nursery either apart from the first couple of days when he was unsettled going in. In fact they actively discouraged it as a member of staff had to leave the room to answer the phone.

Of course. If every parent rang every half hour to check on their kids, the phonelines would be blocked for starters, and the staff would be overrun. Its just a stupid thing to say and if any parent genuinely does ring every half hour, I think they have issues tbh

[Crimson Dynamo]

Id be interested to see what "medication" this lady was on if any

I guess the police look at this first

[Shaun]

It's neglect, pure and simple, and she should be prosecuted. I don't care how preoccupied you are, your #1 thought at all times should be the baby you're looking after and I just can't ever imagine being so absent-minded as to forget I've left him/her in the car.

[Crimson Dynamo]

Originally Posted by Shaun

It's neglect, pure and simple, and she should be prosecuted. I don't care how preoccupied you are, your #1 thought at all times should be the baby you're looking after and I just can't ever imagine being so absent-minded as to forget I've left him/her in the car.

and certainly not ALL DAY

[Kazanne]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

and certainly not ALL DAY

It's the ALL DAY thing that gets me tbh,ok some might forget for 5 mins or so,but a whole day, Would this child be in a nursery at 3 mths old mine is 5 mths plus and all I seem to do all day is cuddle,feed,change and chat to her,no way on Gods earth could I forget her, I am with those who think this doesn't sit right,surely someone would have also asked how her baby was,surely that would jog your memory, I always look round my car as I get out,don't most people?

[Vicky.]

https://www.babyalert.info/design/index.html

All parents should have one of these grandparents too..or anyone who has regular contact with young children :/

Also an interesting and horrific read on this topic

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifes...=.668c22ae1343

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

https://www.babyalert.info/design/index.html

All parents should have one of these grandparents too..or anyone who has regular contact with young children :/

Also an interesting and horrific read on this topic

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifes...=.668c22ae1343

Each instance has its own macabre signature. One father had parked his car next to the grounds of a county fair; as he discovered his son’s body, a calliope tootled merrily beside him. Another man, wanting to end things quickly, tried to wrestle a gun from a police officer at the scene. Several people -- including Mary Parks of Blacksburg -- have driven from their workplace to the day-care center to pick up the child they’d thought they’d dropped off, never noticing the corpse in the back seat.

[jaxie]

What I find most odd about this story, beyond the fact that someone failed to remember to drop off a baby and also didn't see the baby in the back seat when getting out of the car, is the time lapse. It seems odd that she didn't check in with the caregiver during lunch with regard such a young baby, or at some point during the day.

I did have a friend who said she went out to the shops and left her newborn in his pram in the hallway of her house but she remembered him within few minutes of leaving the house and ran home in a panic. Most people I've heard of doing this remember their child very quickly so yes the time lapse seems a bit strange.

I also find it really odd that anyone can leave a car without seeing the child seat through the window. Most seats for a baby that young are fairly noticeable and come out of the car with the baby in it.

I think there are definitely questions to be asked and answered of the mother.

[Crimson Dynamo]

all the memory stuff is just fine but does any of it explain forgetting ALL DAY?