[user104658]

Originally Posted by Oliver_W

Some people claim rape culture doesn't exist in the west, and unfortunately when one of the examples given to prove its existence is wolf-whistling, it becomes easy to dismiss.

But when a literal victim comes forward, not only does he have to hesr that he wasn't actually raped, but other people in his shoes (I've not actually heard this in his case) have to hear "phroaw, lucky him!" or "I wish I had teachers like that!"

Youtube video

Uncomfortably close to how some people see it, really.

[GoldHeart]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

Youtube video

Uncomfortably close to how some people see it, really.

TS did you see my post

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Oliver_W

Some people claim rape culture doesn't exist in the west, and unfortunately when one of the examples given to prove its existence is wolf-whistling, it becomes easy to dismiss.

But when a literal victim comes forward, not only does he have to hesr that he wasn't actually raped, but other people in his shoes (I've not actually heard this in his case) have to hear "phroaw, lucky him!" or "I wish I had teachers like that!"

And it's usually other men that say stuff like lucky him etc

[Oliver_W]

Tbh I think the age of consent should be 18.

Originally Posted by Niamh.

And it's usually other men that say stuff like lucky him etc

Sadly so... This might be a wonky comparison but it's up there with "okay but how short was your skirt?"

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Oliver_W

Tbh I think the age of consent should be 18.







Sadly so... This might be a wonky comparison but it's up there with "okay but how short was your skirt?"

It's 17 here

And yes, the male version of that I suppose

[Ammi]

...I was just looking at the charge and that it couldn’t have been a rape charge etc...so, I assumed that would have determined the very low sentencing as well, that only 6 years because of it not being able to be rape in the eyes of the law...?..so that would indicate a higher sentencing then for the opposite genders of male teacher/female student because a rape charge could then apply in the eyes of the law...

...something that was said in court in this case by the judge was...

‘There is no doubt in my mind that you acted in gross breach of trust. You took advantage of a child in your care and groomed him for your own sexual gratification’

...obviously I wouldn’t disagree with any of that, what she did was abhorrent and one of the worst betrayal of trusts...

...I googled cases which were male teachers and because this is a recent case, it obviously mostly came up with this case but the first male teacher news story that showed was ..(..when rape could have applied etc because it would have been penetration ...)...was a 22 month sentence..so if rape could be applied in U.K. law, then a lesser sentence was given in this case...?....and the male teacher was described as the judge before sentencing to that unbelievable 22 months imprisonment...

...an 'Honest man who lost sight of his responsibilities'....

...the female teacher is the worst, which is fair and fine because what she was awful...but a male teacher just ‘lost sight of responsibilities’ but what a great guy, on the whole, eh...

[user104658]

What I would note, though, is that people never seem to question what a 40+ year old man would see in an 18/19 year old girl when they absolutely ****ing should and it falls into exactly the same "legal, but still awful" category. I honestly find anyone who is 35+ being interested in anyone under 25 pretty odd. Once everyone is 30+ then I see it more as an "each to their own" situation... like I personally don't understand why a 30 year old would want a 60 year old partner but it's not "creepy" at that point, as everyone is clearly a grown-up of some description.

But then I know that many people see it as "you turn 18, you are now an adult" and that's that. Personally I can't look at a 20 year old and see anything other than a kid .

[GoldHeart]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

What I would note, though, is that people never seem to question what a 40+ year old man would see in an 18/19 year old girl when they absolutely ****ing should and it falls into exactly the same "legal, but still awful" category. I honestly find anyone who is 35+ being interested in anyone under 25 pretty odd. Once everyone is 30+ then I see it more as an "each to their own" situation... like I personally don't understand why a 30 year old would want a 60 year old partner but it's not "creepy" at that point, as everyone is clearly a grown-up of some description.

But then I know that many people see it as "you turn 18, you are now an adult" and that's that. Personally I can't look at a 20 year old and see anything other than a kid .

Replying to both your posts

I'm not even surprised , everytime a middle aged woman sleeps with a teenage boy, there's always immature egging on about the whole thing.

An 18 year old and a 48 year old is weird but there's nothing illegal about it .

But going back to the whole 15 ,16 & 17 year olds I will never understand WHY someone well in their 40s or 50s would be interested, seems like a weird fetish they have. Or some power trip .

But what people need to remember is mentally the brain doesn't mature until 21 years old I would say.

Hell there's still immature 21 year olds, so 25 year old for some people is when they've grown up fully. So what on earth does a 48 year old have in common with a 16/17 year old ?? TF .

[bots]

people can get married at 16 so they can surely make their own sexual choices by then

[user104658]

Originally Posted by bitontheslide

people can get married at 16 so they can surely make their own sexual choices by then

Again as I said - legally, yes - but opinions don't have to be based on laws and it's perfectly acceptable to think that any 40-odd-year-old who is out shagging teenagers is a ****ing creep. I'm not judging the teens, I'm judging the adults.

There are countries where the legal age of consent is 14 ffs, I view any adult in those countries having sex with 14 year olds in exactly the same way as I'd view someone doing it in the UK.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

Again as I said - legally, yes - but opinions don't have to be based on laws and it's perfectly acceptable to think that any 40-odd-year-old who is out shagging teenagers is a ****ing creep. I'm not judging the teens, I'm judging the adults.

There are countries where the legal age of consent is 14 ffs, I view any adult in those countries having sex with 14 year olds in exactly the same way as I'd view someone doing it in the UK.

Absolutely and besides the age, this woman was his teacher, she was in a position of trust and also had power over him

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Absolutely and besides the age, this woman was his teacher, she was in a position of trust and also had power over him

I'm 99.999% sure (I can't be bothered googling) that even at 16+, there are at least laws about teachers and pupils in schools up to 18.

Most if not all Universities also have internal rules about it because of the risks of blackmail/coercion so people can be fired for gross misconduct for having relationships with people they also teach, though it wouldn't be a legal issue, which of course is fair enough as often the age gap isn't the issue there (students can be older, lecturers can be fairly young), it's purely the position of power.

[GoldHeart]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Absolutely and besides the age, this woman was his teacher, she was in a position of trust and also had power over him

Exactly that's like going to the doctor's and getting sexually assaulted, by the one person you thought you could trust.

[GoldHeart]

Originally Posted by bitontheslide

people can get married at 16 so they can surely make their own sexual choices by then

Well that's debateable , a 16 year old to me is still a kid (I know it's not the same as a 12 year old but still). I personally don't see anything fanciable about a 16 year old boy especially one that looks like a BOY still.

But it's a very strange grey area , due to the age of consent in UK being 16 .

But a 35 year old teacher and a 15 year old kid is effed up and clearly grooming .

[Liam-]

Pedantry over the rape of a child, we’ve hit a new low folks

[Niamh.]

Are you surprised by that Ammi? I'm not, par for the course for men to be described as good men after they've assaulted women

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Are you surprised by that Ammi? I'm not, par for the course for men to be described as good men after they've assaulted women

...yeah, completely acting out of character and so unlike them etc...and maybe that’s why the even lower sentencing when it would then be rape in the eyes of the law...6 years is a ridiculously low sentence anyway when only a few years will be served, it’s a failure to protect our children...but I assumed it was low because rape couldn’t be charged, when that’s not the case...it’s 3 times longer than the male teacher received ...and to describe him as an ‘honest man’...when his behaviour was the exact opposite...

...I only looked at that one case atm, because it was hard to find a case that want this last one...but I am going to research some more, to see the differences in sentencing...but also the judge’s summation in character in regard to the specific offence...

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Ammi

...yeah, completely acting out of character and so unlike them etc...and maybe that’s why the even lower sentencing when it would then be rape in the eyes of the law...6 years is a ridiculously low sentence anyway when only a few years will be served, it’s a failure to protect our children...but I assumed it was low because rape couldn’t be charged, when that’s not the case...it’s 3 times longer than the male teacher received ...and to describe him as an ‘honest man’...when his behaviour was the exact opposite...

...I only looked at that one case atm, because it was hard to find a case that want this last one...but I am going to research some more, to see the differences in sentencing...but also the judge’s summation in character in regard to the specific offence...

Well, I've heard rape and child rape case results here over the years and they've been shockingly low. Multiple children abused but only get sentenced for one type thing. I don't know why they do that in cases where there is more than one victim, surely they should be sentenced for each child they assaulted.

But yeah, I knew rape sentences are disgustingly low

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Well, I've heard rape and child rape case results here over the years and they've been shockingly low. Multiple children abused but only get sentenced for one type thing. I don't know why they do that in cases where there is more than one victim, surely they should be sentenced for each child they assaulted.

But yeah, I knew rape sentences are disgustingly low

....when I think about it, I don’t think that I’ve ever seen a case such as this with a female teacher when her character has been praised in any way...’..oh she’s previously been so great and unblemished’ etc...because actually, no she wasn’t...she was found to be guilty of abusing a child’s trust in the most abhorrent of ways and some things in life are very much defining of character...so the ‘losing sight of responsibilities for one time only’ type thing, is a complete disrespect and further let down to the child and their family...for a judge to say that...?...

...but I’m pretty sure that I’ve read other similar court ‘defence’ remarks when it’s been a male...and this type of offence seems to be more commonly reported with male staff anyway than with female staff...

[Cal.]

As someone who was having ~relations~ with men over double their age at 16 I can definitely say in hindsight that the age of consent should be made 18. Grown adults going with 16 year old children is very very weird to me.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Cal.

As someone who was having ~relations~ with men over double their age at 16 I can definitely say in hindsight that the age of consent should be made 18. Grown adults going with 16 year old children is very very weird to me.

Well at 16 you think you know it all, it's only when you get a bit older and look back you realise how much of a child you really were and how creepy it is for a person in their 30's to be interested in you in that way

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by Cal.

As someone who was having ~relations~ with men over double their age at 16 I can definitely say in hindsight that the age of consent should be made 18. Grown adults going with 16 year old children is very very weird to me.

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Well at 16 you think you know it all, it's only when you get a bit older and look back you realise how much of a child you really were and how creepy it is for a person in their 30's to be interested in you in that way

100%

[Oliver_W]

Originally Posted by Cal.

As someone who was having ~relations~ with men over double their age at 16 I can definitely say in hindsight that the age of consent should be made 18. Grown adults going with 16 year old children is very very weird to me.

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Well at 16 you think you know it all, it's only when you get a bit older and look back you realise how much of a child you really were and how creepy it is for a person in their 30's to be interested in you in that way

Originally Posted by Cherie

100%

Yups.

I'm not yet in my thirties but if someone my age went with a sixteen year old, I'd probably think think they were a paedo, i.e. getting the "legal" version of what they really want. That, and 16 year olds just look like kids.

[Cherie]

I wonder if her husband is still standing by her