[Niamh.]

You mamas so ugly when she was born, the doctor slapped he mother

[Iceman]

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

[Smithy]

Dictionary For Womens Personal Ads

40ish............................................. .49
Adventurous....................................... .Slept with all your mates
Athletic.......................................... .No Tits
Average looking....................................Has a face like an arse
Beautiful......................................... .Pathological liar
Contagious smile...................................Does a lot of pills

[Niamh.]

yo mamas so old when she was in school there was no history

[Chantel]

Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
They all already have boyfriends.

[Jessica.]

Originally Posted by Smithy

8008135 women don't understand this joke.

I understand it!
Girls have calculators too!

[Iceman]

Why don't women need drivers licenses?
There is no road between the bedroom and the kitchen

[Niamh.]

yo mamas so old she owes Jesus a fiver

[Iceman]

Why haven't any women ever gone to the moon?
It doesn't need cleaning yet

[Smithy]

After biting from the apple, Adam felt shame and covered himself with a fig leaf.

Eve too felt shame, and covered herself with a fig leaf.

Then she went back behind the bush to try on a maple leaf, an oak, and three varieties of sycamore.

[Harry!]

...

[Iceman]

What do you do when your dishwasher breaks?
You hit her.

[30stone]

Originally Posted by Schumacher

Why don't women need drivers licenses?
There is no road between the bedroom and the kitchen

A man runs over his wife. Whose fault is it?
The man, he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.

[Iceman]

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, shes already been told twice.

[Smithy]

A woman is like a pack of cards:

You need a Heart to love her,

You need a Diamond to win her,

You need a Club to smash her head in,

And a Spade to bury the bitch.

[Niamh.]

you mamas so fat everytime she turns around it's her birthday

[Jessica.]

Yo mama so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

[Iceman]

Life's A Bitch, Then You Marry One, Then You Die

[Jessica.]

Yo mama so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture!

[Smithy]

Women don't like to hear men's opinions, they just like to hear their own opinions in a deeper voice.

[30stone]

Why is rape so rare?

because women with their skirts over their heads run faster than men with their pants around their ankles

[Chantel]

You know your boyfriend is in love with you when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.

[Smithy]

Why do people make snow men instead of snow women?

Because it takes too long to hollow out the head.

[Jessica.]

Yo mama so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!

[Chantel]

Jill: You remind me of the sea.
Jack: Because I'm wild, unpredictable and romantic?
Jill: No, because you make me sick.