[Smithy]

Originally Posted by Niamhxo

I have a good Joke for you

Spoiler:

SMITHY.

/cliché

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Smithy

/cliché

/whog

[Smithy]

Originally Posted by Niamhxo

/whog

Whorg

[King Gizzard]

No one looked at THE AMAZING joke I posted

[Smithy]

Originally Posted by Nate

No one looked at THE AMAZING joke I posted

I found it funny

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Nate

No one looked at THE AMAZING joke I posted

I was too busy laughing at Smithy

[Smithy]

Originally Posted by Niamhxo

I was too busy laughing at Smithy

....and his amazing jokes?

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Smithy

....and his amazing jokes?

no Smithy, you big ginger fool!

[Smithy]

:O

[Shasown]

A 14 year old girl from Norfolk wrote a letter to Jeremy Kyle;

Dear Jeremy, I'm the only girl in my class that isn't pregnant. I'd like to appear on your show to find out whether its me or my brother whos infertile.

[Smithy]

rofl

[Smithy]

A dyslexic friend of mine has been arrested at the World Cup for attempting to blow a Zulu's vulva.

[Smithy]

Dear Walkers Crisps,

Your crisps are really tasty. When will you be making a full bag?

[Shasown]

Originally Posted by Smithy

Dear Walkers Crisps,

Your crisps are really tasty. When will you be making a full bag?

You know thats very true, saying that though they do pack the corn snacks which are full of additives into their bags.

[InOne]

I met a fairy today who granted me one wish. "I want to live forever," I said.
"Sorry," said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that."
"Fine," I said, "I want to die when West Brom win the premier league."
"You crafty cunt!" said the fairy

[Shasown]

Can't wait for Grand Theft Auto: Tyneside to hit the shops

Is karate for amputees called partial arts?


Got sent home from school today by the Headmaster for wanking in assembly. That's my teaching career over.

If anyone bumps into Raoul Moat, tell him justin bieber was shagging his girlfriend

I wonder if Northumbria Police have tried offering Raoul Moat some pussy yet? He's a fucking ginger, he'll be out of his hiding place faster than you can say "virgin"

[InOne]

My wife called me an annoying cunt the other day.

I almost choked on my vuvuzela.

[Shasown]

My wife walked out on me after I blew our life savings on a penis extension.

She said she just couldn't take it any longer.

Have you noticed that Superman, Batman and Spiderman dont have parents. I kill off mine and I'm the bad guy?!

[InOne]

We're all getting them from the same site xD

[alc09]

Northumberland police have put a 10k reward for the capture of Raoul Moat & if he isn't caught by next wednesday then they make it 20k.

Now thats what a call I Raoul over!
______________________

Funny how times change - in medieval times, you'd have felt secure if you'd had a Moat running round your village!

[Visage]

A lady, desperate for companionship took out an ad in the local paper. It read: "I need a man who won't beat me up...won't run away with other women, but he's gotta be great in bed". The next day the doorbell rang, and she found a quadriplegic on her doorstep. "You have no arms" she said... he answered: "I won't beat you" "you have no legs" she protested... he said "I won't run away with other women!" Embarrassed she inquired: "How can you be great in bed?" His answer: "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"

[Visage]

[Visage]

What's the difference between Cheryl Cole and Robert Green?

Cheryl caught something in Africa.


I was in a porno cinema the other night. I hadn't been there five minutes when some guy started yelling at me: "Oh, you're a beast, you're despicable!"

So I said to him: "Listen mate, we're all here together, you're just as despicable as I am." But then other people started chipping in, shouting stuff like "How do you sleep at night?" and "You're a total disgrace."

Next thing I knew the manager was standing right beside me, throwing in his two pence worth as well. I remember what he said to the letter. He said: "In 25 years I've never seen anything like this."

So I said: "I know I'm not much to look at but that's a bit harsh, isn't it?" But he wasn't listening, he was just waving his arms saying he was going to "throw me out" and that security was "on its way."

At that point I just thought "Oh, I don't need this".

So I stood up and said: "Sod it, come on kids we're leaving."

[BB_Eye]

Q: What do you get when you cross a scouser with a Jehovah's Witness?

A: Somebody who knocks on your door at six in the morning, tells you to fuck off and headbutts you.