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Old 06-11-2010, 07:08 AM #1
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Default Ditties for BB11 Housemates.

Wee ditties and funny poems for the BB11 housemates. Who fancies a bash and a little bit of lighthearted fun along the way?

I'll start.

BB11 wasn't really 'all that
Some housemates were simply just twats
Breaking rules all the time
Never toeing the line
Lounging about and just getting fat.

Ok. poor attempt but it's early on a Sat morn and I'm poorly.
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Old 06-11-2010, 07:59 AM #2
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I'll have a go as soon as the I have had a coffee to wake me up a bit more
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Old 06-11-2010, 08:19 AM #3
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BB 11 started off with such hope
A great show with plenty of scope
But as usual the bosses couldn't leave be
And favouritism we started to see
And Pej said BB was just a soap
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Old 06-11-2010, 08:36 AM #4
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Lord Ben is just so witty and divine
To Shabby, Laura, and Sunshine , said 'Come Dine',
Sunshine dined on crisp butties, pizza too,
As at dinner parties you do
And they finished the meal off with fine wine
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Old 06-11-2010, 09:07 AM #5
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Shabby by name and by nature
I just couldn't take to this creature
Bad tempered and rude
With profanities - oh so rude
A horrid and hypocrital preacher.
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Old 06-11-2010, 10:01 AM #6
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BB 11 had acquired a beady little mole
Who had to live in a dirty little hole
His aim was to stir, not get caught
which he did without too much fault
deviousness seemed second nature to that mole

Trouble is the mole didn't know when to stop
And would also quite often throw a strop
If his way he didn't get
He wanted to be BBs pet
And would strip off his fur at the slightest hat drop
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Old 06-11-2010, 10:05 AM #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Suze View Post
BB 11 had acquired a beady little mole
Who had to live in a dirty little hole
His aim was to stir, not get caught
which he did without too much fault
deviousness seemed second nature to that mole

Trouble is the mole didn't know when to stop
And would also quite often throw a strop
If his way he didn't get
He wanted to be BBs pet
And would strip off his fur at the slightest hat drop

*Doffs hat and curtesys*
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Old 06-11-2010, 10:59 AM #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Suze View Post
BB 11 had acquired a beady little mole
Who had to live in a dirty little hole
His aim was to stir, not get caught
which he did without too much fault
deviousness seemed second nature to that mole

Trouble is the mole didn't know when to stop
And would also quite often throw a strop
If his way he didn't get
He wanted to be BBs pet
And would strip off his fur at the slightest hat drop
When is the Poet Laureate job coming up again ... ?

Can we throw you into the mix ... ?
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Old 06-11-2010, 11:04 AM #9
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There once was housemate called Ben
who most definitely scored 10 out of 10
with his quiff and his pout
there was really no doubt
that we'd see him again and again.
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Last edited by Angus; 06-11-2010 at 11:05 AM.
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Old 06-11-2010, 11:07 AM #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pyramid* View Post
Wee ditties and funny poems for the BB11 housemates. Who fancies a bash and a little bit of lighthearted fun along the way?

I'll start.

BB11 wasn't really 'all that
Some housemates were simply just twats
Breaking rules all the time
Never toeing the line
Lounging about and just getting fat.

Ok. poor attempt but it's early on a Sat morn and I'm poorly.
Great idea

Quote:
Originally Posted by angus58 View Post
There once was housemate called Ben
who most definitely scored 10 out of 10
with his quiff and his pout
there was really no doubt
that we'd see him again and again.
Excellent rhyming there

((goes away to think and compose....))

Last edited by Truth Teller; 06-11-2010 at 11:08 AM.
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Old 06-11-2010, 11:23 AM #11
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Along came a housemate called Josie
Who acquired the nickname of Grosie
she resisting getting showered
The stench overpowered
As a result, she smelled anything but rosey!
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Old 06-11-2010, 11:42 AM #12
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Big Brother 11 became dross
And all the housemates did was goss
it got so nasty
that the mob tweets were untrusty
and voted the Lord out the doss


Last edited by Truth Teller; 06-11-2010 at 11:43 AM.
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Old 06-11-2010, 11:55 AM #13
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BB11 was devoid of much fun
It has had it's day in the sun
Now rigged and manipulated
The boredom accumulated
By it's best, I'm afraid it has run
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Old 06-11-2010, 12:17 PM #14
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A Big Brother housemate named Ben
Thrilled us again and again.
With his wit and his charm
Which was there to disharm
We gave him a ten out of ten.

But production just could not forget
Our Ben was a visible threat
To the ones they had chosen
So Bens wit, was frozen
Poor Ben was evicted from set.

Now some others are terribly bitter
All they can do is now twitter
They're stupid and senseless
But Bens not defenceless
His army will not be a quitter.
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Old 06-11-2010, 12:32 PM #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pices View Post
A Big Brother housemate named Ben
Thrilled us again and again.
With his wit and his charm
Which was there to disharm
We gave him a ten out of ten.

But production just could not forget
Our Ben was a visible threat
To the ones they had chosen
So Bens wit, was frozen
Poor Ben was evicted from set.

Now some others are terribly bitter
All they can do is now twitter
They're stupid and senseless
But Bens not defenceless
His army will not be a quitter.

Bravo to posters so smart
For producing such works of art
A sharp witted mind
With intelligence we find
Much to learn and much to impart
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Old 06-11-2010, 12:50 PM #16
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'twas the night before the final
and all through the house,
the HMs were sleeping,
and so was the mouse

Josie was snoring beneath the duvet,
while Dave, full of glory, in bed he did lay.
Andrew was snuggled up close to the Mole
whose hair had been cut in the shape of a bowl.

And last, also least, JJ2 in his dream,
was spending his winnings his face all abeam,
The most boring final in BB history
was a few hours away for the viewers to see

And when at last the result was announced
'twas no surprise to see all others trounced,
'cos the winner predictably was boring Josie
her paper bag antics made her look so dozy

Instead of the finalists there should have been
we got a pikey, a zealot, a nerd and a queen.

RIP BB
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Last edited by Angus; 06-11-2010 at 12:52 PM.
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Old 06-11-2010, 01:37 PM #17
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Big Brother 11, well what can I say
An Australian crab and a bag full of hay
Trying to have us believe they were lovers
when they couldn't be arsed to come out of the covers
foul smelling breath and a dirty down under
no one else would want them and to me its no wonder
but Sam came along and had fun, what a chap
he wasn't impressed and cut through the crap
Even Dave was afraid Sam was hogging the telly
and showed him no love that was there in his belly
But Ben we all loved, his thick golden hair
He stood out from the crowd with the randy old mare
his beatiful voice and his quick fired wit
only one thing to say 'Ben your so fit!!!!!!!'
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Old 06-11-2010, 01:53 PM #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by angus58 View Post
'twas the night before the final
and all through the house,
the HMs were sleeping,
and so was the mouse

Josie was snoring beneath the duvet,
while Dave, full of glory, in bed he did lay.
Andrew was snuggled up close to the Mole
whose hair had been cut in the shape of a bowl.

And last, also least, JJ2 in his dream,
was spending his winnings his face all abeam,
The most boring final in BB history
was a few hours away for the viewers to see

And when at last the result was announced
'twas no surprise to see all others trounced,
'cos the winner predictably was boring Josie
her paper bag antics made her look so dozy

Instead of the finalists there should have been
we got a pikey, a zealot, a nerd and a queen.

RIP BB
Oh this is just utterly BRILLIANT ... !
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Old 06-11-2010, 01:54 PM #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rhino View Post
Big Brother 11, well what can I say
An Australian crab and a bag full of hay
Trying to have us believe they were lovers
when they couldn't be arsed to come out of the covers
foul smelling breath and a dirty down under
no one else would want them and to me its no wonder
but Sam came along and had fun, what a chap
he wasn't impressed and cut through the crap
Even Dave was afraid Sam was hogging the telly
and showed him no love that was there in his belly
But Ben we all loved, his thick golden hair
He stood out from the crowd with the randy old mare
his beatiful voice and his quick fired wit
only one thing to say 'Ben your so fit!!!!!!!'
Oh rhino ... stunning stuff ... so much talent here ...
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Old 06-11-2010, 01:56 PM #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rhino View Post
Big Brother 11, well what can I say
An Australian crab and a bag full of hay
Trying to have us believe they were lovers
when they couldn't be arsed to come out of the covers
foul smelling breath and a dirty down under
no one else would want them and to me its no wonder
but Sam came along and had fun, what a chap
he wasn't impressed and cut through the crap
Even Dave was afraid Sam was hogging the telly
and showed him no love that was there in his belly
But Ben we all loved, his thick golden hair
He stood out from the crowd with the randy old mare
his beatiful voice and his quick fired wit
only one thing to say 'Ben your so fit!!!!!!!'
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Old 06-11-2010, 02:02 PM #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ultra Violet View Post
Oh rhino ... stunning stuff ... so much talent here ...
lol cant wait till Monday, tripping with Ben
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Old 06-11-2010, 02:10 PM #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ultra Violet View Post
Oh this is just utterly BRILLIANT ... !
Quote:
Originally Posted by angus58 View Post
'twas the night before the final
and all through the house,
the HMs were sleeping,
and so was the mouse

Josie was snoring beneath the duvet,
while Dave, full of glory, in bed he did lay.
Andrew was snuggled up close to the Mole
whose hair had been cut in the shape of a bowl.

And last, also least, JJ2 in his dream,
was spending his winnings his face all abeam,
The most boring final in BB history
was a few hours away for the viewers to see

And when at last the result was announced
'twas no surprise to see all others trounced,
'cos the winner predictably was boring Josie
her paper bag antics made her look so dozy

Instead of the finalists there should have been
we got a pikey, a zealot, a nerd and a queen.

RIP BB
Quote:
Originally Posted by rhino View Post
Big Brother 11, well what can I say
An Australian crab and a bag full of hay
Trying to have us believe they were lovers
when they couldn't be arsed to come out of the covers
foul smelling breath and a dirty down under
no one else would want them and to me its no wonder
but Sam came along and had fun, what a chap
he wasn't impressed and cut through the crap
Even Dave was afraid Sam was hogging the telly
and showed him no love that was there in his belly
But Ben we all loved, his thick golden hair
He stood out from the crowd with the randy old mare
his beatiful voice and his quick fired wit
only one thing to say 'Ben your so fit!!!!!!!'
Bravo Bravo, brilliant poems.
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Old 06-11-2010, 02:26 PM #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by angus58 View Post
'twas the night before the final
and all through the house,
the HMs were sleeping,
and so was the mouse

Josie was snoring beneath the duvet,
while Dave, full of glory, in bed he did lay.
Andrew was snuggled up close to the Mole
whose hair had been cut in the shape of a bowl.

And last, also least, JJ2 in his dream,
was spending his winnings his face all abeam,
The most boring final in BB history
was a few hours away for the viewers to see

And when at last the result was announced
'twas no surprise to see all others trounced,
'cos the winner predictably was boring Josie
her paper bag antics made her look so dozy

Instead of the finalists there should have been
we got a pikey, a zealot, a nerd and a queen.

RIP BB
*Applauds* Quite brilliant.

Ha... laughing that this thread has been categorised under "Creative"
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Old 06-11-2010, 02:52 PM #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by angus58 View Post
'twas the night before the final
and all through the house,
the HMs were sleeping,
and so was the mouse

Josie was snoring beneath the duvet,
while Dave, full of glory, in bed he did lay.
Andrew was snuggled up close to the Mole
whose hair had been cut in the shape of a bowl.

And last, also least, JJ2 in his dream,
was spending his winnings his face all abeam,
The most boring final in BB history
was a few hours away for the viewers to see

And when at last the result was announced
'twas no surprise to see all others trounced,
'cos the winner predictably was boring Josie
her paper bag antics made her look so dozy

Instead of the finalists there should have been
we got a pikey, a zealot, a nerd and a queen.

RIP BB
LOL thats a great take on the original Angus rofl at the last line
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Old 06-11-2010, 03:39 PM #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rhino View Post
Big Brother 11, well what can I say
An Australian crab and a bag full of hay
Trying to have us believe they were lovers
when they couldn't be arsed to come out of the covers
foul smelling breath and a dirty down under
no one else would want them and to me its no wonder
but Sam came along and had fun, what a chap
he wasn't impressed and cut through the crap
Even Dave was afraid Sam was hogging the telly
and showed him no love that was there in his belly
But Ben we all loved, his thick golden hair
He stood out from the crowd with the randy old mare
his beatiful voice and his quick fired wit
only one thing to say 'Ben your so fit!!!!!!!'
Lol, move over Pam Ayres
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