I just wanted to get a few opinions on this opening. The character is actually narrating this part, as they will to each new chapter [the first chapter will the only one that has such a long intro]. They're narrating like Mary-Alice Young does Desperate Housewives.
Don't crucify me, it's one of my first attempts and I'm fully aware of it's probably utter crap. But I don't know, what do you think...
Quote:
We’re all guilty of it: Guilty of judging someone. That preconceived notion when you look at someone. It may only take a second, but that second, based on no real evidence, will influence the treatment of that person. Why do we do this? We do this to protect ourselves; it’s a natural instinct.
That blonde twenty-something woman with the Starbucks cup in her hand; a phone on her ear and a file under her arm, she’s going somewhere. She leads a busy life – she has a one-bedroom apartment in the heart of the city and a loving fiancé. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. That blonde twenty-something woman with the Starbucks cup in her hand is desperately seeking her way out of an abusive relationship. You’d be forgiven for thinking the former; it was our judgement that proved to be wrong.
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It is only a first draft and needs some re-working. I'm just going to shut up now. I've never showed anyone my writing. LOL.
27-03-2011, 10:55 PM
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Opening to a new novel...
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