[lily.]

5. Nieces and Daughters

You and your family are going away for the weekend. Your daughter is 7 and is best friends with your niece, who is also 7. Your families are very close and your daughter asks if your niece can come with you on your holiday. You have been on holidays together before and don’t see any problem, so you agree.

You arrive at your holiday destination and the house you are staying at backs onto a beach. The girls ask if they can go for a swim. You tell them that they have to wait until you have unpacked the car, but they can play on the sand directly in front of the beach. They run down to the sand, and you begin to unpack the car. After about 5 minutes, you hear screaming coming from the direction of the beach and it sounds like the girls.

You run down to see what the matter is, and you discover that they hadn’t listened to you and have gone for a swim. There is no one else on the beach and the girls are caught in a rip.

The girls are really struggling, particularly your niece who isn’t as strong a swimmer as your daughter.

You swim out quickly, but when you get there, you realize that there is no way you will be able to get both the girls back into shore on your own. You realize that an agonizing decision will need to be made.

You need to decide which of the girls you will rescue first, you have enough strength and energy to rescue them both, but you can only do it one at a time. You look at the two girls, and your niece is really struggling to hold her head above water and you know if you take your daughter back first, there will be little or no chance that she will survive.

Your daughter is struggling also, but is much stronger in the water and you estimate that if you take your niece back to shore first, there’s probably a 50% chance that your daughter will be able to stay afloat long enough for you return, but you simply don’t know how long she will hold on for.



Source: Top 10 Moral Dilemmas

[Niamh.]

Oh God, that's awful :/ I think I'd get my niece first as that way both could be saved

[MTVN]

This is a tricky one, I honestly think I'd save my daughter first, I'd hate if she died while I saved my niece & I don't think I would ever prioritise someone else's kid above my own, at least you still have a chance at saving the niece and can't say you didn't try

[Kate!]

My head says get the niece out first, and adrenaline would then kick in to ensure I got back to my daughter asap, and saved them both. If in that situation though and having to make a split second decision, I don't know for sure what I would do.

[lostalex]

I'd save my daughter first. ZERO hesitation.

When you bring a child into this world, you owe them everything. Nothing less than everything is ever allowed. Even if there was only a 1% chance of my duaghter drowning, i'd still save her first, because i'm her Dad.

[Tom4784]

I'd save the daughter first as would most people I should think.

[Z]

It's horrible to leave the niece until last because she's not as strong but I don't think I would EVER forgive myself if I saved someone else over my own child, regardless of the circumstances. It's not a certainty that the niece would drown, which would be a hope I'd cling onto when I went back out to save her... But yeah I'd save my daughter first.

[Niall]

I want to say that I'd save my niece first but if my own child's life was at stake too, then I think I'd wind up pulling my own daughter out of the water.

[Doogle]

Eh another one I couldn't really answer unless I were a parent but I'd think I'd have to go for my daughter.

[Vicky.]

Daughter first.

I could never live with myself if I saved someone else and because of this my own daughter died. And a 50/50 chance is not great :/

[Beastie]

Save daughter first. If it was the other way around and it was your daughter on holiday with her cousin and parents then I bet they would save their own child first.

It's tough though. It's one of them horrible things you wish would never happen.

[Jords]

Horrid situation but Id save my daughter first definitely.

[Brother Leon]

I have a niece but no daughter so I may well be biased but I would go for the niece first. I would have faith I could just about save both of them.

[lily.]

This one is difficult for me.

When my daughter was 5, and my son was 2, we were entering a swimming pool at a holiday complex. I was carrying my son. My daughter went ahead.. down the gently sloping steps into the pool. She was only a few steps ahead of me, and as I made my way down the steps, carefully [because I was carrying my son], she jumped forward into the actual pool. She could swim a little bit, but not much, and was always by my side in the pool. This was the first time she'd ventured ahead of me into the water. The pool was really busy and she just seemed to get sucked out into the crowd within seconds, then she went under. I couldn't dive out as I had a toddler in my arms. I couldn't sit him down on the steps, even though the water was only about a foot deep. I was faced with an instant decision... It all happened so quickly, though looking back, it felt like the whole thing was going in slow motion.

I screamed out and pointed to my daughter. The pool was incredibly noisy, but I was louder than the noise.. [no surprise there eh?]. I just kept screaming and yelling 'please someone help her', and before the lifeguards could even get into the pool, this big hairy guy lifted her up into the air and brought her toward me. She was right behind him in the water, and he had no idea until I started making a scene. He just turned around, and scooped her up.... easy as pie.

Of course, she was absolutely fine. She hadn't been under more than 5 or 10 seconds, but it felt like an eternity, and I was a right state. I felt responsible. I still do.. [It's a parent thing]. The lifeguards and some of the other parents came to comfort me and I tried not to show it too much to her, because I didn't want her to react to my reaction. She recovered quickly and wanted to go back into the pool about 5 minutes later...

We went back in, but she had to hold my hand and walk slowly down the steps this time.

I know it's not the same as the moral dilemma, but it reminded me of it. :/

[GypsyGoth]

I think I would save my niece as she would certainly drown. And I think if my daughter died while I was rescuing my niece, I'd prob kill myself with the guilt at a later date.