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Old 14-03-2012, 01:04 AM #1
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Default Amazing jokes
What did the Iranian president say when he didn't like his food?

Ah my dinner bad.
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Old 14-03-2012, 01:05 AM #2
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pretty much the next billy connelly
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Old 14-03-2012, 01:06 AM #3
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::::: i would give all this and heaven too :::::
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Old 14-03-2012, 01:12 AM #4
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Amazing indeed, will remember this one
Last edited by MTVN; 14-03-2012 at 01:12 AM.
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Old 14-03-2012, 01:13 AM #5
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.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MTVN

Anyway there's an explanation and I don't really appreciate your tone. It's very aggressive so I'm going to close this, sorry for killing the internet mate
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crimson Dynamo View Post
Here iv made a wee paper plane

Older than Niamh
Last edited by Benjamin; 14-03-2012 at 01:14 AM.
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Old 14-03-2012, 01:15 AM #6
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only one amazing joke. thread title is misleading.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arista View Post
PISS OFF TESCO
BBUK Faves: Richard, Feyisola, Teja, Farida & Nancy
Strictly Faves: La Voix, Jimmy, Harry & Alex
Celeb Traitors Faves: Stephen, Alan, Joe W, Clare & Lucy

Spoiler:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amy Jade View Post
I love just watching fishtanks its theraputic
Quote:
Originally Posted by T* View Post
Vaginas emit a toxic goop known as marsh repellent
Quote:
Originally Posted by Black Dagger View Post
I wash my hands with you Ammi. YOU DISGRACE.
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Old 14-03-2012, 01:17 AM #7
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you can post your own amazing jokes, but I'm afraid they might be a little less amazing then that
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Old 14-03-2012, 01:17 AM #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shaun View Post
only one amazing joke. thread title is misleading.
[2]
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Old 14-03-2012, 01:22 AM #9
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I'm terrible at understanding jokes and telling them. No sense of humour
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Old 14-03-2012, 01:24 AM #10
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What did Zee say to a black guy?

"I hate you because of your skin colour".
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arista View Post
PISS OFF TESCO
BBUK Faves: Richard, Feyisola, Teja, Farida & Nancy
Strictly Faves: La Voix, Jimmy, Harry & Alex
Celeb Traitors Faves: Stephen, Alan, Joe W, Clare & Lucy

Spoiler:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amy Jade View Post
I love just watching fishtanks its theraputic
Quote:
Originally Posted by T* View Post
Vaginas emit a toxic goop known as marsh repellent
Quote:
Originally Posted by Black Dagger View Post
I wash my hands with you Ammi. YOU DISGRACE.
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Old 14-03-2012, 01:26 AM #11
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A doctor who fan proposes to his girlfriend........
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Old 14-03-2012, 01:26 AM #12
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two spiders meet walking towards each other, one says 'hi bill! long time no see, How are you?
The other replies ' im grand fred thanks, I heard you moved...Where are you living now?'
The first shouts 'I'M NOT TELLING YOU YA B@STARD!!..YOU'LL NICK ME WASHING!!
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Old 14-03-2012, 01:46 AM #13
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What's orange and always angry?

Spoiler:

An angry orange.
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Spoiler:



Quote:
Originally Posted by MTVN

Anyway there's an explanation and I don't really appreciate your tone. It's very aggressive so I'm going to close this, sorry for killing the internet mate
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crimson Dynamo View Post
Here iv made a wee paper plane

Older than Niamh
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Old 14-03-2012, 01:47 AM #14
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kizzy can you stop getting me to email B at Stard!!..You please?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arista View Post
PISS OFF TESCO
BBUK Faves: Richard, Feyisola, Teja, Farida & Nancy
Strictly Faves: La Voix, Jimmy, Harry & Alex
Celeb Traitors Faves: Stephen, Alan, Joe W, Clare & Lucy

Spoiler:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amy Jade View Post
I love just watching fishtanks its theraputic
Quote:
Originally Posted by T* View Post
Vaginas emit a toxic goop known as marsh repellent
Quote:
Originally Posted by Black Dagger View Post
I wash my hands with you Ammi. YOU DISGRACE.
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Old 14-03-2012, 01:47 AM #15
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Whats brown and sticky?

Spoiler:


Poo
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Old 14-03-2012, 02:03 AM #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shaun View Post
What did Zee say to a black guy?

"I hate you because of your skin colour".
Why did Shaun cross the road?

Race hate
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Old 14-03-2012, 02:04 AM #17
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Novo
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Old 14-03-2012, 02:07 AM #18
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Why did Zee change his clothes?

He touched a Filipino girl accidentally in an elevator and spent the entire walk home trying not to vomit
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arista View Post
PISS OFF TESCO
BBUK Faves: Richard, Feyisola, Teja, Farida & Nancy
Strictly Faves: La Voix, Jimmy, Harry & Alex
Celeb Traitors Faves: Stephen, Alan, Joe W, Clare & Lucy

Spoiler:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amy Jade View Post
I love just watching fishtanks its theraputic
Quote:
Originally Posted by T* View Post
Vaginas emit a toxic goop known as marsh repellent
Quote:
Originally Posted by Black Dagger View Post
I wash my hands with you Ammi. YOU DISGRACE.
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Old 14-03-2012, 02:11 AM #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jords View Post
Whats brown and sticky?

Spoiler:


Poo
I'm ashamed to say I actually laughed at that.
__________________

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Spoiler:



Quote:
Originally Posted by MTVN

Anyway there's an explanation and I don't really appreciate your tone. It's very aggressive so I'm going to close this, sorry for killing the internet mate
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crimson Dynamo View Post
Here iv made a wee paper plane

Older than Niamh
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Old 14-03-2012, 04:29 AM #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ukturtle View Post
What's orange and always angry?

Spoiler:

An angry orange.
..that's more of a true story
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Old 14-03-2012, 04:51 AM #21
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...children tell me silly jokes all the time..like..'what do you call a man with seagulls on his head..Cliff'...I'm actually starting to find them funny now
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Old 14-03-2012, 12:00 PM #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ammi View Post
...children tell me silly jokes all the time..like..'what do you call a man with seagulls on his head..Cliff'...I'm actually starting to find them funny now
My dad used to tell me lots of jokes like that when I was a kid

What do you call a man with dirt on his head?
Spoiler:

Pete

What do you call a man with a spade on his head?
Spoiler:

Doug

What do you call a man with a toilet on his head?
Spoiler:

Lou

What do you call a man with leaves on his head?
Spoiler:

Russel

What do you call a woman with a radiator on her head?
Spoiler:

Anita

What do you call a man with a scratch on his face?
Spoiler:

Claude


I can't remember any more atm.
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Old 14-03-2012, 12:02 PM #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jords View Post
Whats brown and sticky?

Spoiler:


Poo
You ruined the greatest joke of all time


What do call an Italian with a rubber toe?

Spoiler:

Roberto
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You compare Jim Davidson to Nelson Mandela?
Quote:
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I know, how stupid? He's more like Gandhi.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isaiah 7:14 View Post



Katie Hopkins reveals epilepsy made her suicidal - and says she identifies as a MAN
Quote:
Originally Posted by Livia View Post
Just because she is a giant cock, doesn't make her a man.
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Old 14-03-2012, 12:03 PM #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Niamh. View Post
You ruined the greatest joke of all time


What do call an Italian with a rubber toe?

Spoiler:

Roberto
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Old 14-03-2012, 12:05 PM #25
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What do you call a woman standing in between two houses?

Spoiler:

Elaine
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GiRTh View Post
You compare Jim Davidson to Nelson Mandela?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus. View Post
I know, how stupid? He's more like Gandhi.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isaiah 7:14 View Post



Katie Hopkins reveals epilepsy made her suicidal - and says she identifies as a MAN
Quote:
Originally Posted by Livia View Post
Just because she is a giant cock, doesn't make her a man.
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