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Old 06-06-2012, 02:31 PM #1
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Default This Is Big Brother 2012 - Day 2 - First Eviction

Im going to do an interactive TiBB Story over the next while. It launches over the course of today/night. And will have 16 housemates.

Housemate Number 1

Spoiler:

Our first housemate is 16 year old Patrick from Belfast. He describes himself as a man’s man who’s in touch with his feminine side! He says he’s an Uber Fan and anyone who doubts him can go suck on someone’s boll***s for 3 months. He makes his way out to meet this years host Nathan whilst Britney Spears – Piece Of Me plays in the background. After completely ignoring the host he says 'you’re sh*t at hosting this, I mean c’mon no wonder this show is dying, ****** sake, do you know how long I've waited to get on here and then to find out you're hosting, it's a ****ing joke'. A bewildered Nathan ushers Patrick into the house whilst the crowd cheer loudly. The Door shuts and Patrick makes a beeline for the alcohol. We go back to Nathan outside who lets us know that tonight Patrick must Nominate 4 of his fellow housemates for the public vote this Friday
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Old 06-06-2012, 02:33 PM #2
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''After completely ignoring the host he says 'you’re sh*t at hosting this, I mean c’mon no wonder this show is dying, ****** sake, do you know how long I've waited to get on here and then to find out you're hosting, it's a ****ing joke''

hahah
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Old 06-06-2012, 02:34 PM #3
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Nathan is the host?

Thumbs up.
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Old 06-06-2012, 02:36 PM #4
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Yup.
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Old 06-06-2012, 02:37 PM #5
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Brilliant start Eion

Will definitely keep reading.
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Old 06-06-2012, 02:38 PM #6
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Spoiler:

Quote:
Originally Posted by GiRTh View Post
You compare Jim Davidson to Nelson Mandela?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus. View Post
I know, how stupid? He's more like Gandhi.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isaiah 7:14 View Post



Katie Hopkins reveals epilepsy made her suicidal - and says she identifies as a MAN
Quote:
Originally Posted by Livia View Post
Just because she is a giant cock, doesn't make her a man.
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Old 06-06-2012, 02:39 PM #7
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::::: i would give all this and heaven too :::::
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Old 06-06-2012, 02:41 PM #8
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Old 06-06-2012, 02:41 PM #9
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Had a good ROFL at this. Well done.
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Old 06-06-2012, 02:44 PM #10
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Old 06-06-2012, 02:48 PM #11
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Old 06-06-2012, 02:57 PM #12
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Housemate Number 2

Spoiler:

Joining Patrick is our first female of the night 36 year old Niamh from Cork. A self-confessed cougar Niamh knows how to have a good time claiming she once had a threesome with Eamonn Holmes and Mary Byrne. Niamh wants to go in the house for some cheap thrills and to hopefully find a toyboy. She’s packed handcuffs and a feather duster. She makes her way out to Nathan to Rihanna’s S&M. The crowd are mixed. Nathan asks Niamh if we’ll see some naked jacuziness and she nods enthusiastically before turning around and flashing her boobs to the photographers. Niamh pats her bottom as she stands at the top of the stairs. As the doors close we go to Live feed from the house. 'Oh for ****** sake first girl in and she’s old, like prehistoric old' mutters Patrick to his microphone. Niamh quickly embraces Patrick as she picks up a bottle of wine. 'Mine' she shouts as we go back to Nathan who asks what the 'Mine' was about? Patrick or the wine?
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Old 06-06-2012, 03:00 PM #13
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Slut.
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Old 06-06-2012, 03:01 PM #14
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this is amazing, very funny so far. Love Nathan being the host.

Can't wait for further instalments.
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Old 06-06-2012, 03:19 PM #15
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__________________

Spoiler:

Quote:
Originally Posted by GiRTh View Post
You compare Jim Davidson to Nelson Mandela?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus. View Post
I know, how stupid? He's more like Gandhi.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isaiah 7:14 View Post



Katie Hopkins reveals epilepsy made her suicidal - and says she identifies as a MAN
Quote:
Originally Posted by Livia View Post
Just because she is a giant cock, doesn't make her a man.
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Old 06-06-2012, 03:28 PM #16
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Housemate Number 3

Spoiler:


21 year old Scott from O_o eh let’s say Liverpool is our next housemate. He claims to be a loner by choice. Asked what his best quality is he replies by saying 'The sassy Black woman inside me waiting to come out'. He goes no holds barred in arguments and boasts of cutting people if they really agitate him. Scott makes his way out to M.I.A.’s – Paper Planes. He’s dressed in a burka which the crowd love. Nathan tries to ask Scott a question but he refuses to co-operate and crawls up the stairs on all fours. The crowd are loving it. Nathan can be heard whispering 'what a bellend' as Scott finally enters the house. Scott introduces himself as Swanqu Een as Niamh and Patrick wonder what to do next. Patrick asks if it’s a man or a woman and waits for a reply. Scott ignores him and just stands there. 'I think it’s broke Big Brother' Patrick shouts. Just as he does Scott Rips off the burka to reveal a Camel outfit. Niamh quips 'I don’t want you to get the hump but you’ve got camel toe!!' We head back to Nathan who’s holding up an AVFC poster 'back in 4' as we go to our first commercial.
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Old 06-06-2012, 03:49 PM #17
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Quote:
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He’s dressed in a burka
omg

so me
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Old 06-06-2012, 03:50 PM #18
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Housemates 4, 5, 6 and 7 coming up before 6PM
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Old 06-06-2012, 03:50 PM #19
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scott to win!
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Old 06-06-2012, 03:52 PM #20
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This is amazing, Niamh's
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Old 06-06-2012, 03:55 PM #21
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I'm so witty
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Spoiler:

Quote:
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You compare Jim Davidson to Nelson Mandela?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus. View Post
I know, how stupid? He's more like Gandhi.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isaiah 7:14 View Post



Katie Hopkins reveals epilepsy made her suicidal - and says she identifies as a MAN
Quote:
Originally Posted by Livia View Post
Just because she is a giant cock, doesn't make her a man.
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Old 06-06-2012, 04:19 PM #22
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Housemate Number 4
Spoiler:

22 year old Shaun from Torquay. Shaun is no stranger to reality TV having competed in BBC’s How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria? He finished 6th and went on to star in a few west end shows in minor roles. Also no stranger to Controversy (hehe) he once damaged a tooth whilst pole dancing for an amateur porn site which he used to frequent. Shaun comes out to The Killer’s - Somebody Told Me, the crowd go wild and Shaun plays them like a guitar. He grabs hold of Nathan and says that ‘there’s nobody fiercer than him and he can’t wait to stir the **** out of the house’. Shaun laps up the crowd one more time before heading into the House. Inside we see Shaun completely ignore his fellow housemates, he grabs a drink and sits down staring at his nails. Niamh approaches him but quickly backs off as Shaun says ‘****** off I’m thinking’. The housemates look confused before Shaun bursts into laughter. ‘I’m Shaun but you can all call me Sir’ he says with a serious tone to his voice. Nathan is outside on his Iphone tweeting about the show. @nateBB: Boring lot so far, full of bellends, need a good bird.
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Old 06-06-2012, 04:23 PM #23
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Niamh for the win.
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Old 06-06-2012, 04:32 PM #24
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"Nathan is outside on his Iphone tweeting about the show. @nateBB: Boring lot so far, full of bellends, need a good bird."

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Old 06-06-2012, 04:42 PM #25
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Housemate Number 5

Spoiler:

Novo, 21 from Chester. Describes himself as a jack the lad. Had a promising career as a footballer for rangers until a ballet recital went horribly wrong. Says he likes to wind people up and always looks for a reaction. Wouldn’t mind a romance in the house but uses that cliché ‘I’m not looking for love’. He comes out to Tupac’s Dear Mama. The crowd are quite hostile and he shouts for them to ‘shut up and obey your master’. He shakes Nathan’s hand and quickly enters the house. ‘Can someone get me a chair’ quips Nathan. Novo struts down the stairs and introduces himself as a BH Warrior which leaves the other housemates a little confused. He looks around and smiles saying they’re all in for 3 months of hell. We go back to Nathan who’s brandishing this week’s OK magazine, ‘for god sakes, go to the break’ sighs Nathan.
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