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waterhog · 23-01-2014, 08:48 AM

thank you Liz Jones and well done and a marriage proposal 23.01.14

i have to congratulate,
because this lady gives me fizz,
at the start i would not calculate,
that i would have fallen for Liz.
over time there was clarity,
it was heeded like a symphony,
i am a sucker for charity,
and for Liz i have so much sympathy.
i grew to love the peculiar,
a understanding did bring my respect,
as straight as a ruler,
a snide journalist i did not detect.
yes Liz does have errors,
but they are evident on her sleeve,
i see clearly her life terrors,
and trust me, its hard to believe.
from a food disorder,
to a animal rights speaker,
Liz sat on no boarder,
even if some views made my love bleaker.
well done miss,
you have gone up my scale,
a marriage proposal is now bliss,
and the irony is i will post on forums including Daily Mail.

( i am going to try my up most to get this to my future wife first and for-most and if she excepts my proposal - you are all invited to wedding. i probably will do a exclusive with the daily mail. if you have anything to say about my future wife i would be for ever grateful if reply's could be done in poemstyle. thanking you. )

Seraphim · 23-01-2014, 10:33 AM

Brilliant, thanks!

I hope our Liz doesn't scoff at your poem,
When she's back sipping tea in her London home,
You might get a mention in one of her columns:
She could say your obsession is rather like Gollum's.
Her writers nib is as sharp as a knife
And often her words cause significant strife:
She hurts her friends' feelings with expose pieces;
And might prefer cats to her nephews and nieces.

Liz had to move house after slating the locals;
Then offended Rihanna: a princess of vocals.
(Her haters for once felt she made some good points
As they don't approve of pistols and joints.
She hit on the subject of domestic abuse
But her comments on dress were rather obtuse.)
When Rihanna hit back with a piece of her own
Liz felt like a victim and started to moan.

She was nice to the housemates and toned herself down
When she teased their clothing without a frown.
When asked by Emma she admitted as much
Saying she was only kind cos she liked them and such..
But she doesn't know you, so she won't think twice
To make you the butt of her jokes for a price.
Please don't assume that I think she's a sh*t:
I read her column and love her wit.

I can't condone Liz's outspoken views
On inviting rape with clothing and shoes..
But although her views are quite controversial
She can sometimes be seen as influential.
Take me: I'm not a sucker for style,
(I grab the first thing from an unironed pile)
But she has changed my life in the last week or two:
I've been stuck to my telly like it's solvent glue.

I only tuned in to have a gander at Liz
But got addicted to watching the stars of showbiz.
From no frills Jim to Luisa's flounces,
Dappy's dong and Casey's bounces,
Lee's pole-dancing and Ollie's tan
And Lionel's horror at the make-up ban.
Big Brother has found a new viewer in me.
Even though Liz is back home drinking tea.

Josy · 23-01-2014, 11:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Seraphim

Brilliant, thanks!

I hope our Liz doesn't scoff at your poem,
When she's back sipping tea in her London home,
You might get a mention in one of her columns:
She could say your obsession is as bad as Gollum's.
Her writers nib is as sharp as a knife
And often her words cause significant strife:
She hurts her friends' feelings with expose pieces;
And might prefer cats over nephews and nieces.

Liz had to move house after slating the locals;
Then offended Rihanna: a princess of vocals.
(Her haters for once felt she made some good points
As they don't approve of pistols and joints.
She hit on the subject of domestic abuse
But her comments on dress were rather obtuse.)
When Rihanna hit back with a piece of her own
Liz felt like a victim and started to moan.

She was nice to the housemates and toned herself down
When she teased their clothing without a frown.
When asked by Emma she admitted as much
Saying she was only kind cos she liked them and such..
But she doesn't know you, so she won't think twice
To make you the butt of her jokes for a price.
Please don't assume that I think she's sh*t:
I read her column and love her wit.

I can't condone Liz's outspoken views
On inviting rape with clothing and shoes..
But although her views are controversial
She can sometimes be quite influential.
Take me: I'm not a sucker for style -
(I grab the first thing from an unironed pile)
So her fashion advice tends to fall on deaf ears -
My dress sense might even reduce her to tears.
But she has changed my life in the last week or two:
I've stuck to my telly like it's solvent glue.
I only tuned in to have a gander at Liz
But got addicted to watching the stars of showbiz.
From no frills Jim to Luisa's flounces,
Dappy's dong and Casey's bounces,
Lee's pole-dancing and Ollie's tan
And Lionel's horror at the make-up ban.
Big Brother' has got a new viewer in me.
Even though Liz is back home drinking tea.

Very good.

waterhog · 23-01-2014, 09:11 PM

very good - i don't think so sunny jim - excellent and outstanding.

you got to write more of this. its greattttttttttttttttttt.

loved it josy.

Seraphim · 24-01-2014, 03:32 PM

Thanks, folks. I loved yours too Waterhog.

Niamh. · 24-01-2014, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Seraphim

Brilliant, thanks!

I hope our Liz doesn't scoff at your poem,
When she's back sipping tea in her London home,
You might get a mention in one of her columns:
She could say your obsession is rather like Gollum's.
Her writers nib is as sharp as a knife
And often her words cause significant strife:
She hurts her friends' feelings with expose pieces;
And might prefer cats to her nephews and nieces.

Liz had to move house after slating the locals;
Then offended Rihanna: a princess of vocals.
(Her haters for once felt she made some good points
As they don't approve of pistols and joints.
She hit on the subject of domestic abuse
But her comments on dress were rather obtuse.)
When Rihanna hit back with a piece of her own
Liz felt like a victim and started to moan.

She was nice to the housemates and toned herself down
When she teased their clothing without a frown.
When asked by Emma she admitted as much
Saying she was only kind cos she liked them and such..
But she doesn't know you, so she won't think twice
To make you the butt of her jokes for a price.
Please don't assume that I think she's a sh*t:
I read her column and love her wit.

I can't condone Liz's outspoken views
On inviting rape with clothing and shoes..
But although her views are quite controversial
She can sometimes be seen as influential.
Take me: I'm not a sucker for style,
(I grab the first thing from an unironed pile)
But she has changed my life in the last week or two:
I've been stuck to my telly like it's solvent glue.

I only tuned in to have a gander at Liz
But got addicted to watching the stars of showbiz.
From no frills Jim to Luisa's flounces,
Dappy's dong and Casey's bounces,
Lee's pole-dancing and Ollie's tan
And Lionel's horror at the make-up ban.
Big Brother has found a new viewer in me.
Even though Liz is back home drinking tea.

That's actually amazing :')