Forgot Password?
Home Menu

Site Navigation

FAQ
Members List
Calendar
Search
Today's Posts
FAQ Community Calendar Today's Posts Week's Posts Search

Notices

BB16 Big Brother 16 aka Big Brother: Timebomb started 12th May 2015, and was won by Chloe Wilburn. Discuss the housemates and show in this forum.
Housemates (tags): point Aaron, point Adjoa, point Amy, point Chloe, point Cristian, point Danny, point Eileen, point Harriet, point Harry Amelia, point Jack, point Jade, point Joel, point Kieran, point Marc, point Nick, point Sally, point Sam, point Sarah, point Simon, point HM Fan clubs (appreciation) ... Legend HMs: Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace, point Brian Belo, point Helen Wood, point Nikki Grahame,

--

ThisisBigBrother.com - UK TV Forums > Big Brother > Big Brother: 2000 - 2024 > BB16 > A joke to lighten the mood
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 17-06-2015, 04:41 PM #1
jennyjuniper jennyjuniper is offline
Senior Member
  
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 4,050
jennyjuniper jennyjuniper is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 4,050
Default A joke to lighten the mood
It all seems to have got a bit dark and heavy on here lately, so hope this makes you smile.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby and the driver says 'That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen'
The woman sits down and another woman says to her 'You can't let him get away with saying that. Go and tell him off, here I'll hold your monkey for you'.

What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A mental block.
jennyjuniper is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 17-06-2015, 04:45 PM #2
jaxie's Avatar
jaxie jaxie is offline
Senior Member
  
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 7,038

Favourites:
CBB14: Gary
CBB 13: Ollie Locke
jaxie jaxie is offline
Senior Member
jaxie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 7,038

Favourites:
CBB14: Gary
CBB 13: Ollie Locke
Default
runs a comb through my blonde hair, looks at you...
__________________
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
Terry Pratchett

“I am thrilled to be alive at time when humanity is pushing against the limits of understanding. Even better, we may eventually discover that there are no limits.”
― Richard Dawkins
jaxie is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 17-06-2015, 04:45 PM #3
rionablue rionablue is offline
Senior Member
  
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 8,077

Favourites (more):
Strictly 2020: Maisie Smith
Love Island 6: Sophie
rionablue rionablue is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 8,077

Favourites (more):
Strictly 2020: Maisie Smith
Love Island 6: Sophie
Default
A man is walking along the street with his pet duck in his arms. He sees the cinema and there is a film he really really wants to see. He has to hide the duck so he unzips his pants and pushes the duck in then closes his coat. Next to him in the cinema sit two women. The man gets very warm so he opens his coat and the duck pops his beak out. One of the women says to the other 'Mary the guy next to me has his dick out of his pants' The other woman says 'So what? If you see one you have seen them all' to which her friend replies 'Yes but this one is EATING MY POPCORN'
rionablue is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 17-06-2015, 04:48 PM #4
Kazanne's Avatar
Kazanne Kazanne is offline
Senior Member
  
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Gerard Butlers Undercrackersx
Posts: 62,025

Favourites (more):
Love Island 4: Eyal
DOI 2018: Alex Beresford
Kazanne Kazanne is offline
Senior Member
Kazanne's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Gerard Butlers Undercrackersx
Posts: 62,025

Favourites (more):
Love Island 4: Eyal
DOI 2018: Alex Beresford
Default
Is your family tree a cactus?
I just wondered as its full of pricks

That wasn't aimed at the OP,lol.
__________________


RIP Pyramid, Andyman ,Kerry and Lex xx

https://www.facebook.com/JamesBulgerMT/?fref=photo

"If slaughterhouses had glass walls, most people would be vegetarian"
Kazanne is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 17-06-2015, 04:49 PM #5
Marsh. Marsh. is offline
Senior Member
  
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 79,976


Marsh. Marsh. is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 79,976


Default
What's round and covered in sauce?

Jack's belly.
Marsh. is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 17-06-2015, 04:50 PM #6
Rob!'s Avatar
Rob! Rob! is offline
No filter
  
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 18,771

Favourites (more):
CBB22: Kirstie Alley
CBB21: Amanda Barrie
Rob! Rob! is offline
No filter
Rob!'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 18,771

Favourites (more):
CBB22: Kirstie Alley
CBB21: Amanda Barrie
Default
Why did the mouse squeak?

Cause I trod on him babe.
__________________
Rob! is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 17-06-2015, 04:50 PM #7
Kazanne's Avatar
Kazanne Kazanne is offline
Senior Member
  
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Gerard Butlers Undercrackersx
Posts: 62,025

Favourites (more):
Love Island 4: Eyal
DOI 2018: Alex Beresford
Kazanne Kazanne is offline
Senior Member
Kazanne's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Gerard Butlers Undercrackersx
Posts: 62,025

Favourites (more):
Love Island 4: Eyal
DOI 2018: Alex Beresford
Default
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marsh. View Post
What's round and covered in sauce?

Jack's belly.
Marsh,what you like?
__________________


RIP Pyramid, Andyman ,Kerry and Lex xx

https://www.facebook.com/JamesBulgerMT/?fref=photo

"If slaughterhouses had glass walls, most people would be vegetarian"
Kazanne is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 17-06-2015, 04:52 PM #8
sampvt sampvt is offline
User banned
  
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: leeds
Posts: 10,830

Favourites (more):
BB13: Adam
BB12: Harry
sampvt sampvt is offline
User banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: leeds
Posts: 10,830

Favourites (more):
BB13: Adam
BB12: Harry
Default
how do you keep a twat in suspense....................ill tell you later
sampvt is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 17-06-2015, 04:52 PM #9
Northern Monkey Northern Monkey is offline
Senior Member
  
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 13,269

Favourites (more):
CBB21: Ann Widdecombe
BB18: Tom
Northern Monkey Northern Monkey is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 13,269

Favourites (more):
CBB21: Ann Widdecombe
BB18: Tom
Default
What was Jacks favourite musical insrument at school?.........




The dinner bell
Last edited by Northern Monkey; 17-06-2015 at 04:53 PM.
Northern Monkey is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 17-06-2015, 04:56 PM #10
Lstan's Avatar
Lstan Lstan is offline
Senior Member
  
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,958
Lstan Lstan is offline
Senior Member
Lstan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,958
Default
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennyjuniper View Post
It all seems to have got a bit dark and heavy on here lately,
Lol I thought that was the joke!
Lstan is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 17-06-2015, 07:37 PM #11
jennyjuniper jennyjuniper is offline
Senior Member
  
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 4,050
jennyjuniper jennyjuniper is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 4,050
Default
Quote:
Originally Posted by rionablue View Post
A man is walking along the street with his pet duck in his arms. He sees the cinema and there is a film he really really wants to see. He has to hide the duck so he unzips his pants and pushes the duck in then closes his coat. Next to him in the cinema sit two women. The man gets very warm so he opens his coat and the duck pops his beak out. One of the women says to the other 'Mary the guy next to me has his dick out of his pants' The other woman says 'So what? If you see one you have seen them all' to which her friend replies 'Yes but this one is EATING MY POPCORN'
That gave me the best laugh I've had all day
jennyjuniper is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 17-06-2015, 07:59 PM #12
rionablue rionablue is offline
Senior Member
  
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 8,077

Favourites (more):
Strictly 2020: Maisie Smith
Love Island 6: Sophie
rionablue rionablue is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 8,077

Favourites (more):
Strictly 2020: Maisie Smith
Love Island 6: Sophie
Default
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennyjuniper View Post
That gave me the best laugh I've had all day
Awww thanks jen. Its my favourite joke. Its good that I had to type it though cos I cant TELL a joke to save my life lol
rionablue is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 17-06-2015, 08:00 PM #13
ebandit's Avatar
ebandit ebandit is offline
cancelled
  
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: far away
Posts: 3,415
ebandit ebandit is offline
cancelled
ebandit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: far away
Posts: 3,415
Default
i used to think my dog was thick.........but she's quite good at maths

if i put 3 biscuits in my pocket ......feed her 2 she knows there is another

one in my pocket..........

Mark L
ebandit is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 17-06-2015, 08:03 PM #14
Jamesy Jamesy is offline
Senior Member
  
Join Date: May 2010
Location: South Wales
Posts: 4,652

Favourites (more):
BB18: Raph
BB16: Nick
Jamesy Jamesy is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: South Wales
Posts: 4,652

Favourites (more):
BB18: Raph
BB16: Nick
Default
What tastes salty and mildly sweet, but costs a lot to buy?

Spoiler:

Helen Wood's gash
Jamesy is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 17-06-2015, 08:27 PM #15
Northern Monkey Northern Monkey is offline
Senior Member
  
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 13,269

Favourites (more):
CBB21: Ann Widdecombe
BB18: Tom
Northern Monkey Northern Monkey is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 13,269

Favourites (more):
CBB21: Ann Widdecombe
BB18: Tom
Default
What d'you call a Russian prostitute?.....



Spoiler:

Onya Backyabitch
Northern Monkey is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 17-06-2015, 08:42 PM #16
Mystic Mock's Avatar
Mystic Mock Mystic Mock is offline
Senior Member
  
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: with joeysteele.
Posts: 62,796

Favourites (more):
BB2024: Sarah
BBCanada 9: Rohan
Mystic Mock Mystic Mock is offline
Senior Member
Mystic Mock's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: with joeysteele.
Posts: 62,796

Favourites (more):
BB2024: Sarah
BBCanada 9: Rohan
Default
What's simple and doesn't speak back?

Spoiler:

Danny.
__________________
Mystic Mock is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 18-06-2015, 07:42 AM #17
jennyjuniper jennyjuniper is offline
Senior Member
  
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 4,050
jennyjuniper jennyjuniper is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 4,050
Default
Quote:
Originally Posted by rionablue View Post
Awww thanks jen. Its my favourite joke. Its good that I had to type it though cos I cant TELL a joke to save my life lol
I know what you mean. I usually forget where I'm going halfway through.
jennyjuniper is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 18-06-2015, 07:44 AM #18
jennyjuniper jennyjuniper is offline
Senior Member
  
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 4,050
jennyjuniper jennyjuniper is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 4,050
Default
Quote:
Originally Posted by Northern Monkey View Post
What d'you call a Russian prostitute?.....



Spoiler:

Onya Backyabitch
Love it
jennyjuniper is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 18-06-2015, 07:44 AM #19
jennyjuniper jennyjuniper is offline
Senior Member
  
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 4,050
jennyjuniper jennyjuniper is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 4,050
Default
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mystic Mock View Post
What's simple and doesn't speak back?

Spoiler:

Danny.
So so true.
jennyjuniper is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 18-06-2015, 07:56 AM #20
BigBuk BigBuk is offline
Senior Member
  
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 516

Favourites (more):
BB16: Marc
BB15: Helen
BigBuk BigBuk is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 516

Favourites (more):
BB16: Marc
BB15: Helen
Default
Quote:
Originally Posted by Northern Monkey View Post
What was Jacks favourite musical insrument at school?.........




The dinner bell
It's funny cause he's fat.
BigBuk is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 18-06-2015, 09:20 AM #21
Kazanne's Avatar
Kazanne Kazanne is offline
Senior Member
  
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Gerard Butlers Undercrackersx
Posts: 62,025

Favourites (more):
Love Island 4: Eyal
DOI 2018: Alex Beresford
Kazanne Kazanne is offline
Senior Member
Kazanne's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Gerard Butlers Undercrackersx
Posts: 62,025

Favourites (more):
Love Island 4: Eyal
DOI 2018: Alex Beresford
Default
Two Irish men looking for a job , come across a sign saying Tree Fellers wanted, Mick says to Paddy " Aw,shame there's only two of us" !!!!
__________________


RIP Pyramid, Andyman ,Kerry and Lex xx

https://www.facebook.com/JamesBulgerMT/?fref=photo

"If slaughterhouses had glass walls, most people would be vegetarian"
Kazanne is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 18-06-2015, 11:55 AM #22
rionablue rionablue is offline
Senior Member
  
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 8,077

Favourites (more):
Strictly 2020: Maisie Smith
Love Island 6: Sophie
rionablue rionablue is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 8,077

Favourites (more):
Strictly 2020: Maisie Smith
Love Island 6: Sophie
Default
A man walks into a Chinese take away.

' I would like some duck' he said
'Hasahhhhhhhhhhhhhha' the Chinese guy says 'We have no duck'
'I would like some duck please ' the man persisted
'Fasahhhhhhhhhhhhhha' the Chinese guy says 'We HAVE no duck'
The man is more than pissed off now and a bit drunk so he says again
'I want SOME DUCK'
'Hasahhhhhhhhhhhhh' The Chines guy says 'We play a little game. Now, take the C out of CHIPS what you got?'
'Hips' said the customer
'Very good' The Chinese man smiles 'Now take the R out of RICE what you got?'
'Ice' said the customer
'Very very good' The Chinese man said 'NOW take the F out of Duck what you got?'
The customer thinks for a second then says
'There is no F IN DUCK
'EXACTLY' the Chinese guy says. 'Now **** off'

( I like me duck jokes haha)
rionablue is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply

Bookmark/share this topic

Tags
joke, lighten, mood

« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 08:45 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2025 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
 

About Us ThisisBigBrother.com

"Big Brother and UK Television Forum. Est. 2001"

 

Contact Us ThisisBigBrother.com
© 2023
no new posts