[Jessica.]

.

[JoshBB]

I've been told that I occasionally refer to people with neutral pronouns (they/them) without even realising. As far as I know, it is considered legitimate and perfectly acceptable.

[kirklancaster]

Originally Posted by Jessica.

I want to hear some opinions on the following words; they, them, their, themselves.

It's hard to explain so I will paste some things from wikipedia.

A reason for its use is that English has no dedicated singular personal pronoun of indeterminate gender.

Though singular they has a long history of usage and is common in everyday English, its use has been criticized since the late nineteenth century, and acceptance varies.

Technically if we are talking about someone whose gender is not known we are supposed to use "he", but using "they" has become a loophole to that. Some people I've spoken to disagree with the usage of it but I am wondering if anyone else has put any thought into it.

Here is an example;
Generic he: When I greet a friend I hug him.
Singular they: When I greet a friend I hug them.

Technically both of these sentences mean the same thing but I feel like it's extremely outdated to use "generic he", I would always use "they" in this situation, although some people would say I am ridiculous.

Technically Jessica, the last usage is wrong.

It is fine to use 'them' if you had written: "When I greet friends I hug them." But you cannot use the plural 'Them' for the singular 'Friend'.

Although it's been 2,000 years since I passed my English Language GCE.

[Niamh.]

I don't know if it's correct or not but I usually refer to singular forum members as "them" if I don't know what sex they are

[Jessica.]

Originally Posted by kirklancaster

Technically Jessica, the last usage is wrong.

It is fine to use 'them' if you had written: "When I greet friends I hug them." But you cannot use the plural 'Them' for the singular 'Friend'.

Although it's been 2,000 years since I passed my English Language GCE.

Well, that's the whole point of the thread, would you say him rather than them, for that? If you are not talking about a specific person or someone you aren't disclosing the gender of?

[Ashley.]

I use 'them' towards people I don't know (on here I use it if I don't know a person's gender) and then the usual 'him' and 'her' for my friends.

"They called me fat. I don't like them."
"He thinks I'm pretty. I don't believe him."

[kirklancaster]

Originally Posted by Jessica.

Well, that's the whole point of the thread, would you say him rather than them, for that? If you are not talking about a specific person or someone you aren't disclosing the gender of?

No Jessica, I would not, but I was talking from a technical viewpoint. It's always been traditional to use the masculine 'He' or 'Him' when referrring to some person of unknown gender, the same as it being accepted practice to use; 'Author' or 'Actor' instead of 'Authoress' or 'Actress'.

It does not really matter anymore because the English language is constantly being bastardised and revised, and it all comes down to personal preference in all but the most formal of instances.