[Ammi]

...just thinking of something in Scarlett’s writing...if you were able to go back to any point in your life to change or re-arrange something etc...would you and what...?...a second chance pondering ...

[Ammi]

...excluding:...’ ..I wouldn’t have joined TiBB/type stuff...’...

[Toy Soldier]

Every time travel movie ever made has told me that changing the past even in small ways results in unintended negative consequences in the present... So no I wouldn't change anything. The slightest hiccup in your timeline could result in dying in an accident the following day .

[LeatherTrumpet]

er I think it was Cher who had the original idea here so lets give credit where credit is due

[Scarlett.]

When I saw the title, I did a double take xD

Hmm, if I could go back, but not change anything massively, I'd go back to the night before I lost my mum and tell her how much I loved her. We shared a nice last moment, but if I'd have known she wouldnt wake up the next day, I would have said so much more.

[parmnion]

Probably put myself in a room with my son, perhaps not to change what happened but more for him to have a loving arm around him as he went.

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Scarlett.

When I saw the title, I did a double take xD

Hmm, if I could go back, but not change anything massively, I'd go back to the night before I lost my mum and tell her how much I loved her. We shared a nice last moment, but if I'd have known she wouldnt wake up the next day, I would have said so much more.

...Scarlett.....you shared those lovely last moments so there was nothing left to have given her... there are words that you might not have said but I’m sure that she felt them always....

[Ammi]

...Parm as well....

[Kate!]

I'd have also changed the way my mum passed away. On her own in the house. I found her in the kitchen at tea time. Was traumatic. Didn't want that for her. X

[Toy Soldier]

Originally Posted by Scarlett.

When I saw the title, I did a double take xD

Hmm, if I could go back, but not change anything massively, I'd go back to the night before I lost my mum and tell her how much I loved her. We shared a nice last moment, but if I'd have known she wouldnt wake up the next day, I would have said so much more.

I get that, yes. I wish I'd said something to my mum the last time I saw her in hospital. I held her hand, but didn't say anything. She was totally out of it on morphine, not really conscious, only briefly opened her eyes a couple of times and I thought at the time there was no point as she couldn't hear me anyway. But I do sometimes think, "you never know". Maybe she could have heard me, maybe she did know what was going on, maybe some words would have given her even a fleeting moment of comfort. I didn't spend much time with her in the few weeks so he was in hospital - my sister was by her bed day and night but I had a 4 year old and a 2 year old at the time, and we lived an hour and a half away, so couldn't be there much and that's not something that I could change because the situation was as it was. But yeah, I do wish I'd said more on that last visit, and on the one before that when she was still conscious.

Very sorry for your loss Scarlett. Losing a parent when you're still relatively young is ****.

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by parmnion

Probably put myself in a room with my son, perhaps not to change what happened but more for him to have a loving arm around him as he went.

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by Scarlett.

When I saw the title, I did a double take xD

Hmm, if I could go back, but not change anything massively, I'd go back to the night before I lost my mum and tell her how much I loved her. We shared a nice last moment, but if I'd have known she wouldnt wake up the next day, I would have said so much more.

Originally Posted by Kate!

I'd have also changed the way my mum passed away. On her own in the house. I found her in the kitchen at tea time. Was traumatic. Didn't want that for her. X

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

I get that, yes. I wish I'd said something to my mum the last time I saw her in hospital. I held her hand, but didn't say anything. She was totally out of it on morphine, not really conscious, only briefly opened her eyes a couple of times and I thought at the time there was no point as she couldn't hear me anyway. But I do sometimes think, "you never know". Maybe she could have heard me, maybe she did know what was going on, maybe some words would have given her even a fleeting moment of comfort. I didn't spend much time with her in the few weeks so he was in hospital - my sister was by her bed day and night but I had a 4 year old and a 2 year old at the time, and we lived an hour and a half away, so couldn't be there much and that's not something that I could change because the situation was as it was. But yeah, I do wish I'd said more on that last visit, and on the one before that when she was still conscious.

Very sorry for your loss Scarlett. Losing a parent when you're still relatively young is ****.

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

I get that, yes. I wish I'd said something to my mum the last time I saw her in hospital. I held her hand, but didn't say anything. She was totally out of it on morphine, not really conscious, only briefly opened her eyes a couple of times and I thought at the time there was no point as she couldn't hear me anyway. But I do sometimes think, "you never know". Maybe she could have heard me, maybe she did know what was going on, maybe some words would have given her even a fleeting moment of comfort. I didn't spend much time with her in the few weeks so he was in hospital - my sister was by her bed day and night but I had a 4 year old and a 2 year old at the time, and we lived an hour and a half away, so couldn't be there much and that's not something that I could change because the situation was as it was. But yeah, I do wish I'd said more on that last visit, and on the one before that when she was still conscious.

Very sorry for your loss Scarlett. Losing a parent when you're still relatively young is ****.

...if she could hear you and if she did have any awareness..?...then her awareness would have been you holding her hand...she would have heard everything that needed to be said because you being there and holding her hand said everything...words aren’t just a ‘spoken’, they’re a feeling......

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Kate!

I'd have also changed the way my mum passed away. On her own in the house. I found her in the kitchen at tea time. Was traumatic. Didn't want that for her. X

...Kate.....I recall when you told us on the forum...when my dad passed, I felt for a long while, why couldn’t I have been with him, just to hold him or hold his hand...with grief, it’s so hard to see beyond times of sadness...but I knew a long time ago as well, that he wouldn’t have ever wanted anything any other way, than to pass In a few moments, while he was doing just an everyday, type thing...and when he knew that the people he loved, were just doing their everyday things as well and completely unaware of it being his final moments...it was all so ‘typically my dad’...and maybe for your mum as well, is how it would have been for her.....

[AnnieK]

Originally Posted by Ammi

...Kate.....I recall when you told us on the forum...when my dad passed, I felt for a long while, why couldn’t I have been with him, just to hold him or hold his hand...with grief, it’s so hard to see beyond times of sadness...but I knew a long time ago as well, that he wouldn’t have ever wanted anything any other way, than to pass In a few moments, while he was doing just an everyday, type thing...and when he knew that the people he loved, were just doing their everyday things as well and completely unaware of it being his final moments...it was all so ‘typically my dad’...and maybe for your mum as well, is how it would have been for her.....

I was with my mum when she passed, but my dad wasn't and I think she did that on purpose. My Dad had a heart attack years ago and from that moment on my mum shielded him from anything stressful and I think that her final act of shielding came when she passed. We had all sat in the hospice for days, dad was getting more upset but trying to stay strong. My brother and I finally convinced him to nip home and get a shower....five minutes after he left after a lot of persuasion my mum passed. I think she was fighting to stay strong until he left so he didn't have to witness it. He was devastated that he had not been there initially and quite angry at my and my brother for sending him home but when we said we think its what she wanted, he was more at peace with it.

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

I was with my mum when she passed, but my dad wasn't and I think she did that on purpose. My Dad had a heart attack years ago and from that moment on my mum shielded him from anything stressful and I think that her final act of shielding came when she passed. We had all sat in the hospice for days, dad was getting more upset but trying to stay strong. My brother and I finally convinced him to nip home and get a shower....five minutes after he left after a lot of persuasion my mum passed. I think she was fighting to stay strong until he left so he didn't have to witness it. He was devastated that he had not been there initially and quite angry at my and my brother for sending him home but when we said we think its what she wanted, he was more at peace with it.

...Annie.....yeah, I think with ‘words being spoken’ and ‘being with at that time, to hold’...and all of the feelings that we have in our grief of losing someone we love so deeply...it’s thinking of what they would have wanted as well because they loved as much as we loved, you know..?...your mum knew that you would get through because you had a beautiful son to help you and that would ensure ‘your safety of care’...but your dad had so many vulnerabilities and so much that would have added those layers of being too difficult to bear...?...well, you know what I mean, I’m not saying it very well...

...her total belief in your strength was so much because of what she helped to make you......


...I wrote a little poem to my dad after he’d passed...and I felt as though he could hear me because he had such wisdom and there was nothing left to be said...in life, he knew how much he was loved...he needed nothing and no words etc in his passing...

[Kizzy]

I'm so sorry for everyone's loss, I was able to be with my dad in his final moments. It was both the most painful thing I've experienced and the thing I'm most comforted by at the same time.

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

I'm so sorry for everyone's loss, I was able to be with my dad in his final moments. It was both the most painful thing I've experienced and the thing I'm most comforted by at the same time.

......