[Kate!]

I pay for myself as much as possible .

How about you?

[Captain.Remy]

Half and half for the most part.
And If I feel like paying him something because I want to, I will gladly do so (from our joint account jk) and happily accept when my husband invites me to lunch for instance. It's a balance.

[parmnion]

I would pay bout 80 percent of total cost of the relationship.

But I wouldn't be doing the ironing.

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Captain.Remy

Half and half for the most part.
And If I feel like paying him something because I want to, I will gladly do so (from our joint account jk) and happily accept when my husband invites me to lunch for instance. It's a balance.

….the same really as with Remy and his husband….for the most part we would both pay and it really would come out of the joint account… ..but for any special occasion gifts etc and things that I might want to specifically do/give then it would be my own money …and that would be the same for him….

[LeatherTrumpet]

If i can make her pay more then ideal

one has to save the pennies as they wont look after themselves

[Captain.Remy]

Originally Posted by Ammi

….the same really as with Remy and his husband….for the most part we would both pay and it really would come out of the joint account… ..but for any special occasion gifts etc and things that I might want to specifically do/give then it would be my own money …and that would be the same for him….

I guess yours doesn't check your joint account just like mine doesn't check ours
"This is a Happy Birthday gift from our joint account where we each put 50% of our salary each month!"

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Captain.Remy

I guess yours doesn't check your joint account just like mine doesn't check ours
"This is a Happy Birthday gift from our joint account where we each put 50% of our salary each month!"

…it’s not how the money for the gift comes about, it’s about the thoughtfulness of the gift…and that thoughtfulness isn’t from the joint account, Remy…it’s all your own personal account and given to him with love……

[Niamh.]

I mean we're married so it's all our money, at the beginning we used to do every second time mostly if we ate out

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[ThomasC]

Take it in terms.

Depending on how long you have been going out and if you are living together then i would expect my partners money to also be my money, visa versa.

I would just find it odd not doing so

[Smithy]

Take turns or split it

[Tireur]

Maybe because I’m as old as Methuselah I’ve never known any different, if my dad took me and my mum to a restaurant, he paid.
As soon as I started earning, if I invited a girl to the movies, or for coffee and a burger I paid, after all I invited her out, it only seemed right.
As I got older and hopefully a tad sophisticated, I began to take girls out to dinner, once again I saw that as down to me.
My first wife worked, but I paid the tab all the time, that’s the way it was.
I began an affair, got divorced, and lived with the girl I left my wife for, she was an accountant, made no difference to me, I asked for the bill and I paid it.
That ran its course and I was single for 5 or 6 years, then got together with my second and definitely final wife.
She had a 50% interest in a betting shop, but I never dreamed of asking her to go down the middle with a dinner bill, old fashioned I guess.
Don’t give me that BS about feeling emasculated if the woman paid or went Dutch, I played it the way that I thought was right.

[Josy]

We've always put our money together since day 1

[Denver]

If you expect your other half to pay everything for you then im afraid you are not in a relationship for love

[Ashley.]

It doesn't really matter to me. When my husband and I first started dating we just took in turns paying for things- but we never split it.

I've been with men in the past who were very particular about paying exactly half for everything, or paying back an extremely specific amount of money - I went shopping with an ex-partner once and he sat me down for twenty minutes calculating what I owed him based on what I ate more of than him. I told him I'd rather just pay for the whole bloody thing than live with constantly trying to even everything out.

[Alf]

The man should pay for everything in a different sex relationship.

That's why I'm single.


I can’t speak for homosexual relationships, toss a coin maybe?

[Captain.Remy]

Originally Posted by Ammi

…it’s not how the money for the gift comes about, it’s about the thoughtfulness of the gift…and that thoughtfulness isn’t from the joint account, Remy…it’s all your own personal account and given to him with love……

Yes I was obviously joking. I don't think I would ever offer him a gift from our joint account The audacity.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Alf

The man should pay for everything in a different sex relationship.

That's why I'm single.


I can’t speak for homosexual relationships, toss a coin maybe?

No he shouldn't

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[Cherie]

we have a joint account but never use it, I don't really know why we don't, we just move money backwards and forward when needed between our accounts, it works and we never argue about money

[smudgie]

We both have our own current and savings accounts, then we have a few joint accounts.
Both use the same credit card so it makes no difference who pays what.
But for gifts it’s lovely to use your own money, makes it more personal.

[Glenn.]

Split it or take turns.

I find it strange that anyone would just expect the other one to pay

[Toy Soldier]

We don't technically have a joint account but we do have an account we use as one. I have two bank accounts, we use my main bank account like a joint account, then I have another account and she has her own account. We get paid into our own accounts etc, individual bills (phones, individual subscriptions like PSN) come from that account. I think you have to have SOME individual money to avoid disputes on how to spend, I guess. Like I don't want to have to justify spending £60 on a game, my wife has a £70/month phone and I would never spend that on a phone etc... also, for things like birthday and christmas, easier to keep things a surprise (e.g. my wife spent £400 on a VR headset last Christmas - I would definitely have noticed that coming out of the "joint" account )

But then we each pay into the other account for "joint" bills (house, council tax, utilities, fuel, subs we all use like Netflix/Spotify et al) and we also just transfer money to that as and when we need it for things like everyday shopping. When we go out for meals, since it's rare, usually whoever suggested it transfers the funds, but we sort of just keep topping up that account based on whoever happens to have cash that isn't earmarked for any specific use .

TBH though we could probably be more organised and we're not the most sensible with our disposable income. We had a kid straight out of Uni and our only income was me as a little bookies cashier on minimum wage so "disposable income" was like £10 here, £15 there... £50 would have required some serious thought before spending... basically all of our money was taken up by bills and supermarket... but as our income increases exponentially we still seem to be in that mindset. Pay the bills, do the food shopping, spend what's left... except now that's thousands in disposable income every month and I have no ****ing idea where we spend it. I get to the end of the month and think "we can't have spent all that" then look back over the bank statements like "Oh yeah... oh yeah I forgot about that... oh and there was that day we went to Dobbies...". We should really have a savings account but instead we "treat ourselves" like we used to, except it's every damn day not once a month .

[Toy Soldier]

Oh my god I just looked at our annual Amazon spend. SHOCKING wtf

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

We don't technically have a joint account but we do have an account we use as one. I have two bank accounts, we use my main bank account like a joint account, then I have another account and she has her own account. We get paid into our own accounts etc, individual bills (phones, individual subscriptions like PSN) come from that account. I think you have to have SOME individual money to avoid disputes on how to spend, I guess. Like I don't want to have to justify spending £60 on a game, my wife has a £70/month phone and I would never spend that on a phone etc... also, for things like birthday and christmas, easier to keep things a surprise (e.g. my wife spent £400 on a VR headset last Christmas - I would definitely have noticed that coming out of the "joint" account )

But then we each pay into the other account for "joint" bills (house, council tax, utilities, fuel, subs we all use like Netflix/Spotify et al) and we also just transfer money to that as and when we need it for things like everyday shopping. When we go out for meals, since it's rare, usually whoever suggested it transfers the funds, but we sort of just keep topping up that account based on whoever happens to have cash that isn't earmarked for any specific use .

TBH though we could probably be more organised and we're not the most sensible with our disposable income. We had a kid straight out of Uni and our only income was me as a little bookies cashier on minimum wage so "disposable income" was like £10 here, £15 there... £50 would have required some serious thought before spending... basically all of our money was taken up by bills and supermarket... but as our income increases exponentially we still seem to be in that mindset. Pay the bills, do the food shopping, spend what's left... except now that's thousands in disposable income every month and I have no ****ing idea where we spend it. I get to the end of the month and think "we can't have spent all that" then look back over the bank statements like "Oh yeah... oh yeah I forgot about that... oh and there was that day we went to Dobbies...". We should really have a savings account but instead we "treat ourselves" like we used to, except it's every damn day not once a month .

We have a similarish set up, we have a joint account for bills, savings etc and we each have our own accounts because you need to have a bit of spending independence I think (i know that it's a bit different if only one of you is working though) So technically we each have our own money as well as joint money but in reality it's still all ours, neither of us would ever be stuck for any reason

[Toy Soldier]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

We have a similarish set up, we have a joint account for bills, savings etc and we each have our own accounts because you need to have a bit of spending independence I think (i know that it's a bit different if only one of you is working though) So technically we each have our own money as well as joint money but in reality it's still all ours, neither of us would ever be stuck for any reason

Yeah our money management is totally different in that sense since my wife started working full time, it works because we have a similar amount of excess income these days, I don't think it works if there's a large income disparity. I've seen married couples where both are working, but one earns significantly more, but they still treat the excess incomes as completely separate so one is like "oh can I afford to spend £100 on some new clothes?" while the other is out buying a £1000 sound system (an actual scenario I've seen!).

I personally don't think that can possibly be right for anyone.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

Yeah our money management is totally different in that sense since my wife started working full time, it works because we have a similar amount of excess income these days, I don't think it works if there's a large income disparity. I've seen married couples where both are working, but one earns significantly more, but they still treat the excess incomes as completely separate so one is like "oh can I afford to spend £100 on some new clothes?" while the other is out buying a £1000 sound system (an actual scenario I've seen!).

I personally don't think that can possibly be right for anyone.

Yeah that's pretty bad, you're either working as a team or why did you bother getting married. I would find it very weird to see one half of a couple struggling for money while the other is flush. Like I couldn't even imagine me not being able to afford something I needed while Gav watched on and said aw too bad for you while he was rolling in cash or vice versa