[arista]

Yes Dave
I do love a Tiger Mum.


Nothing Wrong with being Strict
you child must know that running in the Road
is Deadly
so smack the child.
That is then remembered.

I hope LT , TS
and some Lady Posters
are with us.


On the Newspaper Review
SkyNewsHD
a reviewer man was angry
as he is a proud Tiger Dad,
steady on fella
One at a time.

[Ammi]

..what's a tiger mum..?...

[arista]

Originally Posted by Ammi

..what's a tiger mum..?...

I must admit
I had to search


Its a Mother who is more Strict in bring up there
children etc

Now on that Review I watched Amy Chew's
name come up as a true Tiger Mum?




When I searched
for her this Image came up.

So I would say
not to strict as a baby
as they must Function first.


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle...e_Tiger_Mother

[Ammi]

..what, function before you knock them over with a slap..?...no, I don't think so Arista, tigers protect their cubs, not hit them...(sorry I don't know if that's what it means because I don't have time to read article..)...but physical violence against anyone let alone a child, no...

[AnnieK]

If you need to smack your child,you've lost some control imo. It also teaches them that smacking is acceptable and confuses them as to why they get in trouble if they imitate that behaviour. It is possible to be firm and teach a child without resorting to smacking.

[arista]

Originally Posted by Ammi

..what, function before you knock them over with a slap..?...no, I don't think so Arista, tigers protect their cubs, not hit them...(sorry I don't know if that's what it means because I don't have time to read article..)...but physical violence against anyone let alone a child, no...

OK Ammi

I put you down as backing Dave
on this one only.


And if you get time later, to read that bloody long link
we can meet again

[arista]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

If you need to smack your child,you've lost some control imo. It also teaches them that smacking is acceptable and confuses them as to why they get in trouble if they imitate that behaviour. It is possible to be firm and teach a child without resorting to smacking.

Its a Tap

not a big smack
me rushed error

[jennyjuniper]

If a child respects a grown up, then that adult showing disapointment in the childs actions should be a sufficient deterrant.
Having said that, I grew up in a time when caning at school or a clip round the ear out of school was acceptable and it certainly made me think twice about doing something I shouldn't.

I'm probably going to get slated for this, but a lot of society's problems and children doing what they please, stem from the breakdown of the family unit. When the Labour government (and all political parties since) made it not only possible, but desirable for single mothers to get free housing and benefits, justy for producing children, many of whom are unwanted, except as a financial incentive, then the rot set in.
Why should people work, strive, have ambition, make sacrifices and generally have society's best interests at heart, when it's so easy to shrug off ones responsibilities and let someone else pick up the tab?
Discipline and guidelines for the young are needed more than ever.

[rubymoo]

I always thought a tiger mum was a mum who protects her children, a parent who is vigilant, firm but fair, teaches her children about life and skills that they will carry through their lives, a parent who fights for their children, but definitely no smacking, i've always thought of my self as a tiger parent as i would protect my children to the point of dying for my children.

[kirklancaster]

Originally Posted by Ammi

..what, function before you knock them over with a slap..?...no, I don't think so Arista, tigers protect their cubs, not hit them...(sorry I don't know if that's what it means because I don't have time to read article..)...but physical violence against anyone let alone a child, no...

I was beaten as a child but I have never raised a hand to my children and have never had to thank God.

The great John Le Carre sums up my feelings in his novel 'Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy', when the character Rickie Tarr says to George Smiley:

" Daddy thought he could beat the sin out of me. But you knew better, didn't you, Mr Smiley? You beat it further in".

[kirklancaster]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

If you need to smack your child,you've lost some control imo. It also teaches them that smacking is acceptable and confuses them as to why they get in trouble if they imitate that behaviour. It is possible to be firm and teach a child without resorting to smacking.

Superbly put Annie.

[smudgie]

Tiger mum here.
Protecting the kids and pushing them to do their best at the same time, with encouragement rather than threats mind.
Letting them have a mind of their own and exploring their little imaginations was great fun too.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

If you need to smack your child,you've lost some control imo. It also teaches them that smacking is acceptable and confuses them as to why they get in trouble if they imitate that behaviour. It is possible to be firm and teach a child without resorting to smacking.

Absolutely agree.

It's also now illegal to hit your kids here as it is to hit any other human

[Northern Monkey]

I think a balance is needed.Firm but fair seems to work for me.It's all fun and games until they're naughty and then they have to "respect maa authorataaaay!"
I don't need to smack them.I'm scary enough without that

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Northern Monkey

I think a balance is needed.Firm but fair seems to work for me.It's all fun and games until they're naughty and then they have "respect maa authorataaaay!"
I don't need to smack them.I'm scary enough without that

Yeah I agree with that, sometimes people on the side of smacking kids assume that you're some sort of push over parent who never disciplines their kids just because they don't agree with smacking, that's not the case at all

[rubymoo]

Originally Posted by Northern Monkey

I think a balance is needed.Firm but fair seems to work for me.It's all fun and games until they're naughty and then they have to "respect maa authorataaaay!"
I don't need to smack them.I'm scary enough without that

Completely agree, i've never smacked my girls, i just have to give them a look and they know to reign it in, and i find that if they misbehave i just have to use the words "i'm so disappointed with your behaviour...." that sentence works wonders as no-one likes to disappoint anyone

[Toy Soldier]

No.

If you respect and support your children as individuals then they will respect you in turn, and they will respect others.

"Tiger" parents treat their children like possessions, and can frankly take a running jump onto a bollard and **** themselves with it.




Also I have never, and will never, raise my hand to my children as discipline. Not even the lightest tap. "How hard" is totally irrelevant, it's the intention behind it that's wrong and that's upsetting. My and my 6-year-old daughter actually play-fight fairly roughly, but I'd never EVER even grab her or smack her hand in anger or as punishment.

For one, it's simply disrespectful of them as a person (which children are, people forget that too easily). Secondly, it teaches them absolutely nothing. The child learns to "behave" based on the motivation of not angering or upsetting their "Tiger parent", out of fear of punishment... which means that their behaviour is totally different (and often destructive / unsafe) as soon as their parent is no longer around. You need to talk to them and make them understand the WHY, not have them blindly adhere to "because I say so".

Case in point; A child who properly understands road safety and the danger of them being hurt or killed on a busy road will be cautious on roads at all times. A child who knows that they're not supposed to run into the road "because their mum will be angry and will punish them" might well run straight into the road if mum isn't with them to see them do it.

This works as an allegory for later life, too. Kids who hit adulthood having been respected, talked to like adults their whole lives, and allowed to explore will be ready for independence when it comes. Kids who hit 18 having done everything they're told their entire life, scared of the consequences of upsetting Tiger Mummy, end up leaving home (e.g. for University) and as soon as they have that independence they go ****ing wild.

[Crimson Dynamo]

i gave all mine a clip round the ear if it was needed

[Northern Monkey]

Originally Posted by rubymoo

Completely agree, i've never smacked my girls, i just have to give them a look and they know to reign it in, and i find that if they misbehave i just have to use the words "i'm so disappointed with your behaviour...." that sentence works wonders as no-one likes to disappoint anyone

The stare usually works.If it does'nt then "Get up those stairs now and don't even think! About coming down here!"said loudly with conviction does the trick.I've even scared the misses when i've shouted at my eldest.lol.
If they don't expect it the impact is immense.Shouting if not over used and done with conviction can be a devastating tool to have in ones arsenal.

[Toy Soldier]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

i gave all mine a clip round the ear if it was needed

[Toy Soldier]

Originally Posted by Northern Monkey

The stare usually works.If it does'nt then "Get up those stairs now and don't even think! About coming down here!"said loudly with conviction does the trick.I've even scared the misses when i've shouted at my eldest.lol.
If they don't expect it the impact is immense.Shouting if not over used and done with conviction can be a devastating tool to have in ones arsenal.

See, the logic doesn't work for me. Again it's about the equality aspect; if someone was to shout full force at me, I wouldn't obey them or respect them, I'd be tempted to give THEM a smack in the face.

Therefore, I don't expect my daughters to obey or respect someone who shouts at them. I teach them exactly the opposite . Someone who needs to raise their voice to make themselves understood is not deserving of my (or their) respect.

[Northern Monkey]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

See, the logic doesn't work for me. Again it's about the equality aspect; if someone was to shout full force at me, I wouldn't obey them or respect them, I'd be tempted to give THEM a smack in the face.

Therefore, I don't expect my daughters to obey or respect someone who shouts at them. I teach them exactly the opposite . Someone who needs to raise their voice to make themselves understood is not deserving of my (or their) respect.

Look after my kids for a week.You'll be shouting soon enough

[joeysteele]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

If you need to smack your child,you've lost some control imo. It also teaches them that smacking is acceptable and confuses them as to why they get in trouble if they imitate that behaviour. It is possible to be firm and teach a child without resorting to smacking.

Totally agree with you and also Ammi as well.

[Toy Soldier]

Originally Posted by Northern Monkey

Look after my kids for a week.You'll be shouting soon enough

My daughter is a 6-year-old teenager, she drives me insane half the time and I'd be lying if I said I've never raised my voice... but, it just makes her (quite rightly) even angrier, it doesn't work to stop her behaviour because (again, quite rightly...) she isn't in any way scared of me... she doesn't feel threatened, so it's just me being obnoxious.

Again, like I said, if another adult took it upon themselves to shout at me or raise their voice with me in the real world, they'd be swiftly told where to go. I don't see why the reaction should have to be any different for children. It does work both ways though; if she starts shouting at me I just tell her that I'm not listening and to **** off until she's calmed down, at which point I will listen .

When she was 3/4 I used to tell her that I couldn't understand shouting, it just sounded like loud noises, and pretend to look really confused. Gutted when that one stopped working, haha.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

My daughter is a 6-year-old teenager, she drives me insane half the time and I'd be lying if I said I've never raised my voice... but, it just makes her (quite rightly) even angrier, it doesn't work to stop her behaviour because (again, quite rightly...) she isn't in any way scared of me... she doesn't feel threatened, so it's just me being obnoxious.

Again, like I said, if another adult took it upon themselves to shout at me or raise their voice with me in the real world, they'd be swiftly told where to go. I don't see why the reaction should have to be any different for children. It does work both ways though; if she starts shouting at me I just tell her that I'm not listening and to **** off until she's calmed down, at which point I will listen .

When she was 3/4 I used to tell her that I couldn't understand shouting, it just sounded like loud noises, and pretend to look really confused. Gutted when that one stopped working, haha.

hahahaha that's actually pretty brilliant