[Redway]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

The absolute #1 problem for men's mental health is toxic patriarchy; other men making men feel weak/pathetic/embarrassed if they admit to anything other than stoicism. It's something that's improving but there's generations upon generations of damage done by the "men don't get emotional" concept. Sadly, it's an idea that women can latch onto as well, it's so deep rooted ... most people will say that they're fine with everyone sharing their emotions but in reality, it's often seen as unattractive in men. I know that sounds a bit MRA but it is actually the case. Certainly far from everyone thinks this way and there are huge variations across social groups and across cultures. But yeah, the idea that "men are tough and solid" is, ironically, the root of mental health issues in men and the reason that suicides are higher. It's not that more men than women are suicidal... it's that they feel too embarrassed to confide in anyone or seek help and just end up doing it.

I’m going to reply this properly a bit later on but you’ve hit the nail on the head. What I was also saying was that toxic patriarchy also has elements of white male supremacy and overall misogyny engendered in it (something that pisses me off a lot) but that’s a discussion for another day.

But having said that I feel like we need to clarify between mental health issues regarded as common and severe alike. The likes of schizophrenia (to name an example) are more associated than males than females. No one would make reference to such a condition in a gendered way or question a man’s strength. Ditto for bipolar disorder (at least the type marked by strong manic episodes) and similar conditions. I feel like men’s mental health is only a taboo when the issue of ‘common’ mental health issues [from phobias to (mild-ish) depression] is considered. (Emphasis on the mild because depression can be very severe.)

I just feel like the further up the mental ill-health spectrum you go, the less it is about opening up about feelings and the more it’s associated with the likes of psychosis and violence. Those are things that are generally associated with men more than women. “Anxiety and mild depression” aren’t the cornerstone of the mental illness experience. That’s just the common stuff that women seem to find it easier to open up about.