[Patrick]

It's so creepy you made this thread right now.

I was just having a wank there now to this video:
http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.ph...04a5a02d4c4e72

That's one of my personal favourites.

And I had just finished and took my earphones out when suddenly I heard someone walk into the bathroom next door.

I ******ing jumped like seriously.

I was like 'UMFG!' I just turned the monitor off so my room was in darkness and just sat in the corner.
So if anyone came in, it'd be all dark.

Thankfully they ******ed off back to bed.

But seriously, Jason Manford said it brilliantly:

They say men can't multi-task, you watch us when we almost get caught wanking.

Porn Off, Trousers Up, Monitor Off and dash to the Corner.
All whilst holding a tissue.