[Livia]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Yet no one ever tells men they "can't have it all" or have a good career if they have kids

No, that's true. That'll change with generations, I think. Or until men give birth! Right now though, like I said, the only women I know who work with me and have kids have live-in nannies, and I wouldn't want that.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Livia

No, that's true. That'll change with generations, I think. Or until men give birth! Right now though, like I said, the only women I know who work with me and have kids have live-in nannies, and I wouldn't want that.

And that's your choice which you're absolutely entitled to but having a nanny doesn't make you bad parent either.

[Livia]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

And that's your choice which you're absolutely entitled to but having a nanny doesn't make you bad parent either.

Having a nanny doesn't mean you're having it all. Having a nanny means you're having a career while someone else is bringing up your child. That's what I mean by not being able to have it all.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Livia

Having a nanny doesn't mean you're having it all. Having a nanny means you're having a career while someone else is bringing up your child. That's what I mean by not being able to have it all.

It's always the women that get told they're not having it all or that someone else is raising their child though, no one ever says that to men, it really pisses me off. I think that's what annoys me most. I understand what point you were making though and I agree that ideally a child should be raised by it's parents/family, it just annoys me that women are the bad guys or the ones accused of "wanting it all" and the dads are just being men

[Livia]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

It's always the women that get told they're not having it all or that someone else is raising their child though, no one ever says that to men, it really pisses me off. I think that's what annoys me most. I understand what point you were making though and I agree that ideally a child should be raised by it's parents/family, it just annoys me that women are the bad guys or the ones accused of "wanting it all" and the dads are just being men

My brother took five years away from work when his children were small as his wife had the better paid job (by a long chalk), so he stayed home and she went back to work. Now they're at school she still has the high-flying career while my brother's work is local and allows him to be there for the children. It's worked out well for them. I think there will be much more of that in the future. I hope so.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Livia

My brother took five years away from work when his children were small as his wife had the better paid job (by a long chalk), so he stayed home and she went back to work. Now they're at school she still has the high-flying career while my brother's work is local and allows him to be there for the children. It's worked out well for them. I think there will be much more of that in the future. I hope so.

Good for him, that's proper team work

[Crimson Dynamo]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

And that's your choice which you're absolutely entitled to but having a nanny doesn't make you bad parent either.

no but perhaps its an indication that you could be?

[the truth]

Originally Posted by Livia

No, that's true. That'll change with generations, I think. Or until men give birth! Right now though, like I said, the only women I know who work with me and have kids have live-in nannies, and I wouldn't want that.

but men lose the kids and their homes if the wife ever wants a divorce so the man has far more to lose and far less grounds when the wife wants him out...so everyone pays a price one way or another

[Livia]

Originally Posted by the truth

but men lose the kids and their homes if the wife ever wants a divorce so the man has far more to lose and far less grounds when the wife wants him out...so everyone pays a price one way or another

That's a completely separate issue.

[the truth]

Originally Posted by Livia

That's a completely separate issue.

no its not. the fact that women get more time off work means they spend more quality time with their kids and strengthens those relationships which in turn means that if there is ever a divorce the law courts will come down in favour of the women over 80% of the time. thus the man loses his home and his kids over 80% of the time...that's the risk he takes by spending less time at home with the kids and at work earning mony to pay the bills...its entirely the same issue as its directly linked and is a direct consequence of the man on average spending more unbroken time at work in his career than the woman. you simply have to look at the whole picture here to form a legitimate opinion not just a tiny part of it

[Livia]

Originally Posted by the truth

no its not. the fact that women get more time off work means they spend more quality time with their kids and strengthens those relationships which in turn means that if there is ever a divorce the law courts will come down in favour of the women over 80% of the time. thus the man loses his home and his kids over 80% of the time...that's the risk he takes by spending less time at home with the kids and at work earning mony to pay the bills...its entirely the same issue as its directly linked and is a direct consequence of the man on average spending more unbroken time at work in his career than the woman. you simply have to look at the whole picture here to form a legitimate opinion not just a tiny part of it

I give up....

[the truth]

Originally Posted by Livia

I give up....

good, because I'm right. Men face enormous consequences simply for working longer. Yet this is not discussed on the feminist biased radical liberal bbc.

[Livia]

Originally Posted by the truth

good, because I'm right. Men face enormous consequences simply for working longer. Yet this is not discussed on the feminist biased radical liberal bbc.

So what about the women who give up their careers to raise a family and support their husband, only for the husband fifteen years or so later to decide he doesn't love her anymore and wants a divorce. She now possesses no up to date skills for the modern workplace, probably doesn't have a pension either. So she has to take a lower skilled job and virtually start again.

It's not all horrible women doing wrong to their angelic men.

[kirklancaster]

Originally Posted by Livia

I give up....